Parasites, Shams And Why Split-Testing Is Stupid!
If a thing can’t sell on its own merits, then short of telling an outright lie, “split testing” sure won’t sell it.
I’m sure I just pissed off a handful of split-testing advocates, but let ‘em piss off because at this point, they’re beyond saving.
The state of the marketing industry is horrible. Get up here, take a look at it with me.
It’s carnage. Look at them, at the outskirts…poor little guys don’t know what’s waiting for them on the inside.
Someone just a little inside the fence, on the “tempting” side does a little dance. He offers them a chance to get rich quick.
One takes a bite. Watch.
Inside, there are predators, scavengers, and parasites. Everyone here is prey to the other. Big guy, eats little guy, slightly bigger guy, eats slightly smaller guy.
Every man, woman, and child fends for themselves.
If you offer temptation, someone is bound to come sniffing.
When did “Get Rich Quick” stop being tempting?
I wonder then, when did “get rich quick” stop being desireable? Does it make any sense that more than 50% of the people with Home Businesses haven’t yet made their first sale?
It’s weird. Everyone wants to get rich quick. It has to be easier to sell this “biz op” and “info” products about money-makin’.
See that guy over there? And that one?
Yeah. Those really big ones.
Don’t be scared.
You’re safe here.
That, my friend, is a parasite.
He feeds off people, by telling them…
The Sham of the Split-Test.
Now, split-testing is alright, and I do lots of it. But I’ve been fortunate to work only with people like Mike Dillard, Ben Settle, David Schwind, and “Doberman Dan”…all guys who know how to make things that people want to buy.
Regardless of the exact method of marketing. Regardless of how good or poor the traffic sent to them is.
But I’ve also sent traffic to affiliate products from Clickbank or Neverblue. And the first thing I tested for was if I could get a sale within a couple hundred bucks of spending. There’s no point split-testing to “improve” response to something that isn’t naturally interesting to anyone.
How Parasites Feed
See, the thing about the split-test, is that some people use it as a scapegoat. A way to put the ball in the victim’s court. An excuse for why their instructions aren’t working as quickly or easily as they promise.
Here’s how parasites execute this:
They tell their victims,
“look at me, I know how to get rich quick. i’ll show you exactly how”.
Victims approach promptly.
The parasite rattles off some basic and intuitive instruction.
But, quickly. Quickly, rapidly, and ever so quietly…he whispers a tiny disclaimer: “you need to split-test and optimise till it works”.
Oh? That’s interesting. Hmm...doesn’t sound very quick if there’s some guess work in it. But anyway, look into the pit.
Look how the parasites pick up little fat guys and show-case them to the audience who gather around them.
A testimonial. The crowd of unknowing victims cheer.
The parasite beats his chest and he claims all the credit. Others flock to him.
Half Eaten, Betrayed.
Meanwhile, he kicks aside a little guy whose half eaten head dangles from his lifeless corpse. That’s what happens. This poor eaten soul is the one who believed in the split-test.
It’s what kept him coming back for more.
Split-testing is stupid. Not all of it, of course. Split-testing something that works is smart.
But what makes a thing sell is its sheer temptation. The very things forbidden in many religions and frowned upon in many cultures. Those are the things that have to do with a person’s desire:
Food, power, sex, and money.
They also happen to be the easiest things to tempt another human with.
“Get Rich Quick” appeals to human temptation & should sell easily.
It’s really easy to figure out where the break down, why so many people haven’t made any or many sales yet. By understanding this, I hope we can together help fix it.
Suppose someone tempts a little guy to buy a “bizop” which is basically a money-making-idea. Apparently, the offer was good enough for the little guy to buy it…surely it would tempt another person, and another, and another. Assuming all things equal, of course.
So let’s move on. The problem is not the idea…it has intrinsic appeal to a human desire.
Let’s turn then, to the systems they’re using to sell these ideas. Most people starting out online are using affiliate systems, bizop systems, etc. Are they, perhaps, making the idea of “getting rich quick” less tempting?
It would seem, no.
Systems are sold as a solution for people starting out. It gives them a simple starting point that apparently makes “getting rich” something they can start doing “quick”. Is that tempting?
Yes. All the proof we need is that the system has sold at least one account.
So let’s move on. If the problem is neither with the idea nor with the system. What’s left?
The marketer. The little guy. Right?
The “little guy’s” short-coming? NO!
Many will be quick to blame the little guy because he didn’t stick it out long enough. Because he didn’t work hard. Because he just hadn’t bought enough courses to learn to market properly.
My question, as we look into that desperate PIT…my question to you is, why do billion dollar companies not have these elaborately tested and split-tested ad campaigns? Why do we let the parasites laugh and mock their ads while they sell us their useless “info” products?
Think about McDonalds…do they have some elaborate direct response campaign with carefully split-tested and crafted ads?
No. They sell with brand awareness. “Hey, by the way, we sell food here,” they say.
Countless millions of people around the world visit McDonalds and are upsold into drinks, sauces, and fries without any major effort. Their agents are not expert salesmen and women either.
How come then, when the product of one business is a desire. And the product of the other is a desire, why must anyone “optimise” to make their first sale?
Friendship in the Pit
Is it because, maybe, the little guy’s “friendship” is not tempting?
I don’t know…
If I was starting out today, the idea of a helping hand, a friend to guide me in that pit below…honestly, it might be a mistake, but I would take my chances with that guy…just so I’m not alone.
Most people starting out are SCARED.
I expect they too will take the first offer of help from an honest looking face.
People who haven’t made a single sale in this business. They’re imitating that parasite down there. You see him feeding? Or that one there. Only the parasites feed.
The rest want to be someone they’re not. And many of them are unwittingly modeling deception—but unfortunately, they don’t do a good job of that either.
In fact, they model others so long, and talk the big talk they can’t back up…that …
…Their face just doesn’t look honest any more.
All the split-testing in the world can’t sell that.
Walk back with me. Back to the pit. Friend.
Promise me, you stay true to you. As long as you do, you will always meet many good companions who could use your gentle guidance.