Addicted to Disaster

Addicted to Disaster

Isn't it funny how most people will frown upon drug addicts and alcoholics yet, not recognize they are probably addicted to something themselves.

A person can become addicted to most anything. Besides drugs and alcohol, addictions can be toward different foods, television, people, work, spending, internet (especially email), fear, and one of the most addictive things for the majority of people--disaster! That's right. Most people are addicted to disaster, their own or other people's.

When an accident occurs on the highway, most people slow down (even if it is a fender bender) to observe any injuries. Let me tell you, the majority of people aren't slowing down to evaluate the injuries from the perspective of whether or not they can help, but instead, to enjoy the disaster. I realize this sounds sick but read on and you may find something that will help you.

What about the news on television or newspapers. Does your attention veer toward the intense crime and extreme negative reports of other people? If it does, chances are you are addicted to disaster. Of course, as with any addiction there are different levels of the addict.

Some people are so addicted to disaster that when they can't find enough in the news, they will create it in their own lives (unconsciously). Then, if they can't create enough disaster in their own lives, they will savor the hardships of others around them. Of course, many will disguise their appetite for hearing disaster from other people by cloaking it in the mindset of "caring". I understand caring for others, but where is the line between caring and addiction to hearing the "disastrous life updates?"

There is a simple test you can use with yourself. When you talk to any person on a regular basis and find he or she is constantly in a state of devastation around some aspect of life, know that person is addicted to disaster and is creating (or at least contributing to) their strains. If you engage in conversation, especially disguised as helping him or her, you too are addicted to their disasters, as well as, probably addicted to trying to fix things and people. The sad, but real truth is that there is no way to fix or help a person who is creating disaster after disaster in life. Just like any other addiction, the person who is doing it must want to be helped. If he or she is not trying to stop the cycle of disasters, they are stuck in the addiction phase for life.

What causes an addiction to anything? Although there are many physiological factors to addiction with anything, the primary two are the hormonal response (the adrenaline rush) and the neurotransmitter response (the chemicals in the brain).

When human beings become addicted to something, they seek a "charge" of chemicals in the brain and body. The addictive substance isn't the problem; it is the body's response to the addiction that is so enjoyable.

The first physiological response is the "Fight or Flight" hormones. The main hormone involved is adrenaline. When you are exposed to your addictive substance (yes, even disasters) your adrenal glands squeeze out adrenaline that starts a complete chemical cornucopia throughout the brain and body. This initial response is the "rush" of the addiction.

Simultaneously to the adrenaline response is the neurotransmitter response. When you are exposed to your addiction (yes, even chocolate) your brain starts to hyper-secrete specific chemicals and enlarges the areas that absorb the neurotransmitters. The brain can almost instantly learn to love this increased chemical response and develops a desire to want more and more without ever being totally satisfied. The fact that the addicted brain is never satisfied is what perpetuates the addiction.

Since an addicted person can never reach a totally satisfied level, his or her life is then controlled by the addiction. If you are a drug addict or alcoholic, you constantly do more drugs and alcohol. If you are a chocoholic or television addict, you want more of these things without ever feeling satisfied. If you are a disaster-holic, you constantly look for disasters or create them in your own life. As a matter of fact, you may look forward to talking with specific individuals that you know who are for sure going to have a "dump truck load" of negativity for you. If the disastrous person doesn't call you, the addict will call him or her to get the "charge".

Well, any addiction is not good because it is impossible to live a happy life when you are addicted to something. Since the addiction will always leave you in an uneasy state craving more hormones and neurotransmitters, you will never find a content level of existence. What can you do?

First and foremost, be careful and watch your thoughts. The brain is tricky. Any addict will tell you how tricky the brain can be, especially when you are trying to "kick" your habit.

A cigarette smoker's mind will start to justify the reason for cigarettes with irrational but logical thoughts such as, "Look how many other people smoke. I may die of an auto accident. I might already have cancer. I think I could control just having one cigarette a day. I really don't think I'm addicted to cigarettes, I can quit any time I want."

One of the initial signs of an addict is "Denial". When a person instantly denies an addiction without considering the possibility, many times, this individual is an addict experiencing denial. Denial is one of the primary indicators that a person is addicted. So, if you think the information in this newsletter doesn't pertain to you, you may want to reconsider and really look at any possible addictions you are not aware of possessing.

A Disaster Addict will have his or her own rationalizations for instance, "This person needs me to help him or at least listen to him. After all, he is my brother and we are family. Family should be there for each other. As a matter of fact, if I'm not there for him, he won't be there for me if I ever need support." These are illogical and are ways the brain is tricking you for more neurotransmitters.

Yes, a person may need your help, but, if you find you are constantly helping the same person, realize you are both addicted to his problems.

Yes, a person may be a close friend or family member, but, if you are constantly compromising your life for the family member's problems, you aren't lovingly empowering the person, actually you are disempowering him and yourself. Your relationship with the family member will be built upon an addictive basis, which is not a real foundation. The both of you will never solve any of the disasters and will probably make things worse. This is not a kind expression of love, instead it is co-dependency.

If you are concerned about the other person not being there for you--don't! After all, the other person is a Disaster Addict. He or she will look forward to the time of hearing disastrous stories from you or anyone else. Remember, if the Disaster Addict can't find a disaster to satisfy their addiction, he or she will create one.

Please don't get me wrong, I believe in helping other people. I believe in serving other people. I believe in loving other people. I'm just saying don't become addicted to their disasters by cloaking it in any of these things. If you want to help, serve, and love the people in your life, as they bring you disasters-choose your level of participation and limit your exposure.

If you continue to indulge in the addiction of disasters, that is fine too. Just remember, we are what we think about most of the time. Also, look at the six closest people in your life today and that is what determines the level of your success tomorrow.

If you are surrounded by positive, proactive, loving people, you probably have great potentials for more of this in your life. If you are surrounded by negative, disastrous, self-consuming people, you know what you have in store for yourself tomorrow as well.

In closing, remember success and prosperity occur as a symphony. There are many pieces in the orchestra of life and you are always the conductor. How do you like the melody of your life? Are you seeing, hearing, and experiencing things the way you really want, or do you need to get some of your orchestra together?

Please ponder these thoughts and let me know, "What do you think?"

Until we talk again, I am

In loving service,
Dr. Michael J. Duckett