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Are You Really Listening?

Guest post by: Michael Hume

Article Overview: Most folks are just starting to dig in again after a relaxing holiday season; leaders are no exception. If, like many of my clients and colleagues, you are always on the lookout for ways to increase your inspirational leadership, this is a good time of year to check yourself out on the key skill that can keep a team inspired by your leadership: your listening skill. Here are some key questions to ask as you check the current state of your own listening ability....

Are You Really Listening?

Now's A Good Time For An Inspirational Leader To Self-Check Most folks are just starting to dig in again after a relaxing holiday season; leaders are no exception. If, like many of my clients and colleagues, you are always on the lookout for ways to increase your inspirational leadership, this is a good time of year to check yourself out on the key skill that can keep a team inspired by your leadership: your listening skill. Here are some key questions to ask as you check the current state of your own listening ability.

Are you getting yourself out of the way? Many people think they're tuned in to what others say, but they're really more in tune with what's going on in their own mind. They aren't really releasing their own inner monologue... they're reloading it! To be as good a listener as an inspirational leader must be, the first step is to get yourself out of the way. Consciously focus on placing your attention outside your own mind, and on truly experiencing the other person through what they say. People can generally tell instantly when you're faking it. So don't.

Are you keeping yourself free from distractions? If you're looking out the window while I'm speaking to you, I might still think you're listening. But if you are reading a computer screen or looking at your pocket electronics, I'm convinced you're not hearing a word I say (even if you are). Inspirational leaders care enough about others to give them undivided attention. If you can't do that now, tell me when you can, and offer to reschedule the discussion.

Are you asking questions? Most folks would have a hard time believing you're really listening to them if you have no questions about what they're saying. Ask open-ended questions (ones that can't be answered "yes" or "no"), and make sure your question follows logically from the points the other person is making.

Are you responding to the answers to your questions? I've coached too many leaders who understand that they have to ask questions, but who give no more than a nod or grunt in response to the answer. After a while, such responses make the other person feel more "downloaded" than really listened to. Ask a question... capture the content of the answer... and then give a little reaction of some kind. "I agree" is good, but "What I really agree with is your point about brand messaging - I have a couple of ideas about that, too, if you want to talk about it" is MUCH better. Not only have you truly listened, you've proven it through your reaction.

Are you summarizing or synthesizing what's been said? If so, even if you only give a quick summary every five minutes or so, you are probably doing an excellent job of listening to the other person. Don't be afraid you'll get the summary wrong, or that it won't be perfect... your objective is to connect with the person, not to write a thesis paper on the content of the discussion. If your summary of what I've said isn't close enough, I'll tell you. And I'll be happy you gave a summary, and gave me the chance to put the discussion firmly on the right track.

Whether you own your own business, work for someone else, or simply build your wealth through investments, the quality of your inspirational leadership will depend on your ability to connect with others. And you can't do that without being a great listener. Check yourself out, and renew your efforts at listening to others with empathy, sensitivity, and patience. Great listening alone may not inspire great accomplishments on the part of your team; but bad listening will sure help prevent them.

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Article Tags: entrepreneurship, health wealth and happiness, inspirational leadership, personal responsibility



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Re: How do I find a direct mail list of potential customers - Hi WhyNot, Is it possible there are websites about the Federal Government. It needs to delve into it to find the key person. Listening for once to the news could pinpoint who is really in charge of this department. I wish you wisdom to connect with the right people. Nothing is too difficult, if you put your mind to it. Maybe some one else has a supportive idea.
Re: How to Get Over Your Fear of Failure, Make Every Second Coun - Hi Evan, I've just been listening to a couple of your MTM videos while packing parcels. I especially enjoyed this one on JKR. Listening to stuff like this while packing orders is one of my better ways of "making every second count!"
Ideas on Using Twitter for Business - 1. Build an account and immediate start using Twitter Search to listen for your name, your competitor's names, words that relate to your space. (Listening always comes first.) 2. Add a picture. ( Shel reminds us of this.) We want to see you. 3. Talk to people about THEIR interests, too. I know this doesn't sell more widgets, but it shows us you are human. 4. Point out interesting things in your space, not just about you. 5. Share links to neat things in your community. ( wholefoods does this well). 6. Don't get stuck in the apology loop. Be helpful instead. ( jetblue gives travel tips.) 7. Be wary of always pimping your stuff. Your fans will love it. Others will tune out. 8. Promote your employees outside-of-work stories. ( TheHomeDepot does it well.) 9. Throw in a few humans, like RichardAtDELL, LionelAtDELL, etc. 10. Talk about non-business,
Re: Franchise Surveys - Great, hope you have taken the time to read my earlier post in this same thread. Before I forget, go for a franchise that involves something of interest to you, and don't just rely on the offered prospectus ROI numbers Listening and sharing are great concepts and should be part of your due diligence, but qualify the source of the information that you are receiving, I would add Observation and become a customer and see first hand the operations and management of the franchise I would also try some not so obvious exit surveys of the customers, satisfaction with the food, service, accommodations, cleanliness, toilets, etc. Related such to the type of franchise you are considering Survey more than one location What is the competition, traffic count, etc Franchises are great for some that do not have a plan of their own. Remember it is their plan, and most will not let you sway from their success model. For me, I would prefer to reinvent the plan and do it my way
Re: Ideas on Using Twitter for Business - [quote="evieparsons":2o69rd2a]1. Build an account and immediate start using Twitter Search to listen for your name, your competitor's names, words that relate to your space. (Listening always comes first.) 2. Add a picture. ( Shel reminds us of this.) We want to see you. 3. Talk to people about THEIR interests, too. I know this doesn't sell more widgets, but it shows us you are human. 4. Point out interesting things in your space, not just about you. 5. Share links to neat things in your community. ( wholefoods does this well). 6. Don't get stuck in the apology loop. Be helpful instead. ( jetblue gives travel tips.) 7. Be wary of always pimping your stuff. Your fans will love it. Others will tune out. 8. Promote your employees outside-of-work stories. ( TheHomeDepot does it well.) 9. Throw in a few humans, like RichardAtDELL, LionelAtDELL, etc. 10. Talk about non-business,[/quote:2o69rd2a] Hey thanks for these tips. Basically, help others in your market out and build relationships with people. Be someone who gives, not takes. I'll keep them in mind if I go back to social media marketing. I'm currently in the SEO phase of my business.


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