Can Tiny Tim Tebow Keep Leading 'Em To Victory?
The ol' Broncos were dead - as dead as a doornail. This must be clearly understood (and at 1-4, believe me, it was clearly understood), or nothing of the miraculous can be perceived in that which follows.
John Elway was visited by a ghost who looked a lot like Dan Reeves, who (while not technically dead) was something of a business partner to the great quarterback in what feels like a past life (the 1980s). "You'll be visited by three spirits," Reeves told Elway, "and it's your one hope and chance of redemption."
Elway humbugged, but soon he was in the presence of another spirit, this one with a toothy grin and an ambling gait and a stark resemblance to himself as a younger man. "I'm the ghost of Broncos past," it said. "Don't you believe in miracles? For crying out loud - you badly lost four Super Bowls, then had your bicep tendon removed, then won two!"
Humbug, Elway grumped. He told the ghost he still just doesn't see a true NFL quarterback in a Broncos uniform these days... and he's trying to run a business, after all. The ghost made some passing crack about the zaniness of trying THAT in Obama's America, but then he was gone, and in his place stood another fearsome apparition who looked for all the world like Tiny Tim Tebow. It was the ghost of Broncos present.
Elway watched as the G of BP led the team to six or seven impossible come-from-behind victories in as many weeks. "Remind you of anyone?" the ghost asked. Elway humbugged again, and the ghost said "Well, first and foremost, I need to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." But Elway could only mumble "WWJD" - wondering to himself, Who Would Jesus Draft?
Soon a silent spectre appeared in Tiny Tim's place, and Elway found himself sitting in the Broncos "war room" on draft day. The ghost looked a little like a cross between Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III, and Landry Jones. But it just pointed at the board, made a little unearthly screech, and then poof! The spirit was gone before Elway could make out what was happening. Elway woke up in a cold sweat, found religion, and hurried off to practice. "I see it now!" he exclaimed. "Tiny Tim embodies the miraculous, come-back spirit of Broncos past, present, and future! May God forgive me for the time I've wasted."
And to Tiny Tim, who was not traded, Elway became as good a friend, as good a mentor, and as good a VP of Football Operations as the good ol' Broncos ever knew. And it was always said of him that he knew how to be grateful for life's blessings, if any quarterback possessed the knowledge. Let this truly be said of all of us! So, as Tiny Tim observes every time a camera's on him, "God bless us, every one."