Tweet

Inspirational Leadership: Ask For Feedback

Guest post by: Michael Hume

Article Overview: There are at least three good reasons to do this, and why leaders who seek to inspire their teams should consider asking their subordinates for feedback... even advice....

Inspirational Leadership: Ask For Feedback

Let Others Help You Grow I used to have four kids, but they all grew up. Some have kids of their own, some own businesses; all of them are smart, accomplished people. And at least twice a year, I make a point of asking at least one of them for his or her feedback. I seek my kid's advice... and I take it. I act on their recommendations.

There are at least three good reasons to do this, and why leaders who seek to inspire their teams should consider asking their subordinates for feedback... even advice.

I ask for my kid's advice because it's good for me. As smart adults who know me well, and who have a chance to observe me in action, my offspring are in a position to see things in my performance and behavior that I can't see myself. And since they care about me, they're in a position to give their feedback in a way that I can truly hear it. When that happens, if I listen, I become a better person. I grow in ways I could not have grown if left to my own self-counsel. And I make myself learn sneaky lessons I wouldn't otherwise want to seek out. Chiefly, I learn (or remind myself) what it's like to do what my coaching clients do: put myself in the hands of a coach, and take heed to feedback. It can be humbling, but it's never humiliating. I need to remind myself, at least every now and then, that I don't have all the answers.

Advising me is also good for my kids. It makes them learn what I have to keep learning and practicing as an executive coach: to observe with objective perspective, to analyze what I've observed rationally, and to deliver my "truth to power" messages with care and empathy. As a father, of course, these are great lessons I want my kids to learn; that's why it was even more important for me to be consistent about asking their advice when the kids were forming themselves as both individuals and as leaders. Ask them, and they'll tell you they were advising me on everything from my career to my relationships when they were teenagers. They've seen me succeed with their advice, and on rare occasions they've even seen me fail with it. It's helped them become better leaders, and better participants in the leadership development of others.

So it's good for both of us, advisor and advised. But I've found it's also good for the relationship, and for the general leadership of the family. I am not the only "leader" in our family - indeed, our policy is that everyone's pretty-much in charge of his or her own life, especially now that the kids are grown - but as one of the first grown-ups these people ever met I certainly have played a key leadership role in their lives. It was (and continues to be) a role I take seriously, and one in which I knew I had the opportunity to go far beyond the "permanent babysitting" methodologies I've seen other parents implement, to a position of great trust. I saw myself as teacher, coach, counselor... primary mentor to great future adults, long before I ever started doing the same work for strangers and for money. And by making advisors of my kids at an early age, and by their willingness and ability to take on the challenge of being a coach to their dad from time to time, I believe we've all helped create a stronger family of leaders.

As a parent, I strongly recommend that you do the same thing with your kids when they start hitting The Terrible Teens. Making them problem-solvers tends to give them something more productive to think about than how to be problem teenagers. Don't take every little problem to your kids - that trivializes their help. Don't put the burden of the biggest life decisions on them, either - that can overchallenge even the best coaches. And don't ask them to advise you on disciplining themselves, or each other! That can be very destructive to the family, and you are supposed to be the grown-up and have a plan for that stuff. Have the humility to ask for advice on YOUR life, and on what YOU should do. Pick the right topics, and make sure you're willing to follow-through with whatever they advise you to do. If you do it right, it strengthens you, it strengthens them, and it strengthens your family.

And as a leader and coach, I highly recommend you seek feedback and advice from your team members. Whether you own your own business or run a business unit for someone else, these days you need to be as inspirational a leader as you can be. And making coaches of your people tends to inspire the best in everybody on the team, and quite often, it goes beyond your team to inspire all the stakeholders in the greater sphere of your leadership influence.

Related Articles
  Inspirational Leaders Aren't Angry People
  Appreciate Your Adversaries, VII
  Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, XVII
  How to Be an Inspiring Leader
  Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, XVIII
  Be An Entrepreneur This Year
  Inspirational Leadership: Renew Your Own Passion
  Appreciate Your Adversaries, VI
  Inspirational Leaders Challenge Themselves
  Inspirational Leadership: The Art Of Appreciation
  Do Your People Know You?
  How To Recognize Inspirational Leadership
  Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, XIX
  Inspirational Leadership: Do It Your Way
  Are You Really Listening?
  Inspirational Leadership: The Art Of Appreciation II
  We Can Do This
  10 Questions for Inspirational Leadership
  Personal Responsibility: Bloom Where You're Planted
  Inspirational Leaders Are Driven By Values

Article Tags: entrepreneurship, health wealth and happiness, inspirational leadership, personal responsibility



Related Forum Posts
Re: How Important is Feedback in eBay? - Feedback is VERY important to me when purchasing on eBay and similar sites. If they don't have several transactions and a 100% feedback (or close to it) then I most likely will not purchase from them.
Re: Business Women Peer Mentoring Spotlight - Hi Everyone, Gosh, I REALLY appreciate your concrete feedback. This was far more than I expected and I'm glad you said what you thought straight out. Each of you have shared something of value and I want to take some more time to think and really go over what each of you have said. However, I can see there are some things I need to change right away. What an interesting point about a NEW program perhaps making people think they are guinea pigs! This is NOT what I want to convey! It's funny how we can see some things so clearly in others while not always seeing it for ourselves! I must admit there are a few things I've been meaning to change (like my bio which is very outdated). Obviously, these things need to be higher on my priority list. You caught me like the plumber who puts his clients first and doesn't get around to fixing his own tap! As far as my target market, I do feel quite strongly about working with Women Leaders and doing Leadership Coaching with them. It's non-negotiable in my books. In my Executive Coaching training, the terms "Leaders" and "Executives" are interchangable. To me, an Executive is a Leader and so is the Business Woman or Entrepreneur who is CEO of her own business. I love working with decision makers! What I did learn is that I need to avoid opening up the Leadership term beyond what I described above. I'm also wondering if there is a misunderstanding with the general public as to what Leadership Coaching really is. Leadership Coaching is all about developing your leadership skills, both as a people manager and in more effectively running and growing the business. There is ALWAYS room for growth in some way. As well, sometimes, we just need a sounding board to clarify what our next BEST step is. In fact, if a woman thinks she has nothing to work on, then we aren't a good Client/Coach fit anyway. How can she grow if she doesn't see the value of expressing ALL of the great ability within her? How can her company grow if she doesn't see the value of strategic planning for the next best level? Thanks again to you all! I will go back to my website and really question whether I am conveying the right message. I got more than I bargained for in this Spotlight... you generously offered way more than I was asking. I think we could be on to something great for the Forum. Now it's time to let someone else have the spotlight. It would be great if everyone took a turn! In gratitude, Tami
Re: 3 Ways I Used Twitter To Grow My Business This Week - Hi Olivia, It seems you are working in the area of leadership area. Is Leadership = Learning? I am looking for some good books on strategy? Which one do you recommend? Thanks, Robert
Subject Line Etiquette - For myself, it's not so much "etiquette" as common sense. If you're emailing someone with a business offer or to strike up a relationship, you do not put "Hello" or "Hi" or something cryptic in the subject line. You make it clear what your email is about - just as you would on a message board. So instead of "wff" for example, the guy who emailed me a couple of days ago should have said, "Feedback on Your WFF Article" - so that I would have known what it was about without having to look at it and try to think...
Re: LEADERS - Nice post, i like the Doers and the listeners comments from my handbook 8.5 HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LEADERSHIP? Planning Problem Solving Vision Innovation Leadership Emotional Intelligence Delegation Communication Self-Development Relationship Building Commercial Financial skills Personal Energy Ethics Transparency Even there I see that we are missing "PASSION"


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Ten Steps to Go from Idea to E-book for Sale

Resistance to Change and How to Deal With It

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.