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It's A Blurb! It's A Blame! It's Super Committee!

Guest post by: Michael Hume

Article Overview: It was August, it was hot as heck, and the situation was dire. The president needed his credit limit increased in time for the holidays, or the world would be destroyed! So he took the sort of drastic action only a career politician with vast experience in community organizing could take: he appointed a committee....

It's A Blurb! It's A Blame! It's Super Committee!

Only The Voters Can Save The World Now It was August, it was hot as heck, and the situation was dire. The president needed his credit limit increased in time for the holidays, or the world would be destroyed! So he took the sort of drastic action only a career politician with vast experience in community organizing could take: he appointed a committee. But not just any committee, no! A Super Committee!

Charged with fixing everything by Thanksgiving, the Super Friends gathered around a table at a top-secret location... cartoon heroes on one side, cartoon villains on the other. Rhino, whose super power is agreeing with his arch-enemies and who therefore sat at the chair in the middle, spoke first. "You're right, Joker," he said. "We have to yank those taxes up nice and high! Especially on those millionaires and billionaires who somehow manage to make $200K!"

"You can't do that," said arch-villain Captain America. "Those are business owners. They're the only hope we have for investment and employment and recovery of the global economy."

Everyone just stared at the Captain, and finally, the Super Demediacrat coalition got up and left the room. "You get that guy?" Two-Face said, rolling his eyes as they huffed out. "Private sector. Sheesh."

Once they all settled in at their new top-secret location, Lex Luther (the super brain behind the coalition) spoke quietly over tented fingers. "This is the deal," he said. "There will be no deal."

After an awed hush, Rhino dared speak. "But Mr. Luther, if we don't make a deal by Thanksgiving, we have to, like, sell the navy!"

Luther just smiled.

"Wait," said the Red Menace, "that's brilliant! We sell the navy to China - they need one - and then we hire a bazillion government workers to build us a new one! Bigger government, the illusion of employment, happy China... all problems solved!"

"But what about the $600 billion that'll come out of entitlementses, Precious?" asked Gollum. "Not gonna happen!" everyone yelled in unison. "If we have to, we'll just sell the air force, too," said The Green Boondoggle. "I bet that'll fetch a pretty penny, and we all know we need those entitlements to enslave - er, help the poor citizens." "But who can we find who needs a modern, stealthy air force and has that kind of money?" Rhino asked.

Luther just smiled.

"Iran?" suggested Menace. Everyone agreed that Iran, or their friends, could use a modern air force and could afford to buy one. There was much rejoicing.

And that's how the president and his Super Friends saved the day and made the world safe for socialism. Now, drink your soy milk and go back to sleep, little voters. Don't have nightmares about freedom and private prosperity... those monsters were slain three years ago.

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Article Tags: entrepreneurship, inspirational leadership, personal responsibility, wealth building



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