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Send Obama To Egypt!

Guest post by: Michael Hume

Article Overview: Given the leftist-driven uprisings in the Middle East, notably in Egypt these days, wouldn't it make more sense to send Mr. Obama over there? Not that it would take much to entice him to make a fundamental transformation in his own job description, but here are some selling points - advantages for all involved - for the idea of promoting the president to pharaoh....

Send Obama To Egypt!

Everyone Would Be Happier With "Pharaoh Obama" President Obama and his collectivist comrades have labored mightily over the past 24 months to put the United States on a collision course with the "fundamental transformation" he promised as a candidate. Of course, now we've come to realize that the "hope and change" we were promised turns out to be a fundamental change from a free market republic - history's most successful wealth-creation machine - to the sort of collectivist Utopia proven unsuccessful everywhere from the socialist states of Europe to the old Soviet Union.

This overreach on the part of liberal Democrats like President Obama gave rise to a grass-roots backlash which came to be known as the Tea Party Movement; turns out Mr. Obama's is not the sort of hope-and-change the American people had in mind. We don't want it. Peacefully, but persistently, the American majority will continue to oppose the "fundamental transformation" agenda until it - along with "leaders" like President Obama - goes away.

So this is no fun for the American people. And it can't be much fun for the president.

Given the leftist-driven uprisings in the Middle East, notably in Egypt these days, wouldn't it make more sense to send Mr. Obama over there? Not that it would take much to entice him to make a fundamental transformation in his own job description, but here are some selling points - advantages for all involved - for the idea of promoting the president to pharaoh.

First, it's a better religious fit. As I've noted previously (see "I've Figured Out President Obama's Religion" posted on my site last August), the president doesn't really fit into any established religious group. He's flexible enough to be a man of his own religion, based on polls and focus groups: I call him a "polichristian." He's also shown great affinity for another new religion he's helping to found - a sort of Islamic socialism - which I've called "socialislam." The mobs in Egypt, spurred to action by a clandestine coalition of socialist, leftist, and fundamental Islamist groups, would welcome a leader with such flexibility and radical "cred."

Mr. Obama's personal power ambitions could be better served, too. The Obama zombies here in the U.S. who adore him (largely without logical reason) would only wish him well in his new role as Leader For Life. He could do so much better as pharaoh than he'll ever do as president! Three words for you, Mr. Obama: No Term Limits. As U.S. president, you're limited to two terms, max. And it's looking more and more likely that you'll be limited by your employers here - the voters - to a single term, since the Republicans could probably put up a ripe summer squash in next year's election which would have wider electoral appeal than would four more years of your radical leftist policies.

Let's not forget that, despite wailings from the Left that we're "imperialist," America is really just one nation, under God. If we were really imperialist, we'd be looking to put a 51st star on our flag for Iraq, and a 52nd for Afghanistan. Sure, we're the world's lone super power, largely because of decades of free-market growth, but we've attracted followers among the world's nations by helping elevate the living conditions of everyone in the entire world, from the poorest in third-world countries to the elites sipping wine around Lake Como. If we're "imperialist," we're the first "empire" ever to participate on the side of Right and Justice in countless foreign military struggles without ever TAKING territory, but striving always to GIVE our enemies back their country and help them rebuild to prosperity! Weird! That just doesn't make any sense alongside your own ambitions, Mr. President. As pharaoh, you'd be in a position to unite the entire world under socialislam - a new Caliphate, with yourself as The Big Caliph.

(The American people would oppose that, of course, but you've never let that slow you down. See your infamous "health care reform.")

I'm just funnin' with you, Mr. President. I know this is not a practical suggestion. For one thing, despite your great teleprompter speeches in Cairo, I think the people of Egypt might be better able to foresee their own "buyer's remorse" than we Americans were when we elected you two years ago. No one but the radical factions fomenting rage in places like Egypt really wants a global caliphate; they may get a scary start on it, but eventually those groups will turn on each other and leave us free peoples to help the ensnared nations clean up the mess. And here in America, we'd be left with a President Biden for a few months, which wouldn't be much worse than your administration, but wouldn't be much better, either. You won election in America by sounding smart when you said dumb things, easily ridiculing opponents like George W. Bush and Sarah Palin, whose talents ran in the opposite direction. President Joe would still say dumb things, but he'd also sound dumb doing it, and the ripe summer squash would win in an electoral landslide.

So stay with us, Mr. President. We are happy to have you (since our decision in November 2008 leaves us with little choice). Nowadays - and here's the nicest compliment I can pay you - we get you. After two years of your "leadership," you've certainly made crystal-clear the differences between what you want for us, and what we really want for ourselves.

Go, summer squash!

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Article Tags: government takeover, health wealth and happiness, inspirational leadership, personal responsibility



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