One of the most common and frustrating impediments to worker productivity is conflict between employees. In any organization, unresolved conflict can strain relationships, create tension and negativity, fuel office gossip, and dampen morale. I’m not talking here of the kind of open debate that results in enhanced creativity, collaboration, and innovation. Rather, I’m referring to the sort of every day conflict that makes life unpleasant and uncomfortable when it goes unaddressed.
Many of us struggle with finding the right approach to handling disputes and disagreements. We don’t always get it right. Sometimes our efforts at dealing with conflict only make matters worse.
Whether you’re engaged in a heated debate, a stubborn disagreement, or an outright feud, you’ll need to take a strategic approach to resolving the problem. You’ll be most effective if you avoid making these common mistakes.
In other words, here’s what NOT to do:
1. Make assumptions - about the situation, the other person’s perceptions, motivations, or reactions. You’ll get a much clearer and more accurate picture by asking the other person directly.
2. Take it personally - it rarely is!
3. Look for blame. Instead, try to identify cause.
4. Avoid the problem. It’ll only get worse, breed resentment, and resurface at a later date. You’ve simply got to deal directly with the issue at hand.
5. Attack the other person’s character. That’s just playing dirty. It will not help you work things out and it will almost certainly have a lasting, negative impact.
6. Gossip – about the problem or about the other person involved. It’s unprofessional and will only make matters worse.
7. Bring it up in public. This is a private matter to be resolved between you and the other party.
8. Bring it up when there’s not enough time to address it. Instead, leave adequate time for a thorough discussion - or introduce the issue and schedule a time to resume talks in the immediate future.
9. Bring it up when you’re angry, stressed, or filling ill. That’s a disservice to you and the other person involved. Wait until you’re calm and feeling up to snuff.
10. Address the situation via email. Email leaves far too much room for misinterpretation. While we’re on the subject, don’t copy others on a personal matter. This will almost certainly make the other party feel defensive, angry, or humiliated. It won’t, however, help resolve the problem.
Ten Common Conflict Resolution Mistakes – and How to Avoid Them - To learn more about this author, visit Liz Bywater's Website.
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Many of us struggle with finding the right approach to handling disputes and disagreements. We don’t always get it right. Sometimes our efforts at dealing with conflict only make matters worse. Whether you’re engage...
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Liz Bywater
(Visit Liz's Website)
Liz Bywater, PhD, is president of Bywater
Consulting Group, LLC, an organizational
consulting firm in the Philadelphia area.
Dr. Bywater helps her clients dramatically
improve individual, group, and
organizational performance... resulting in
enhanced job satisfaction, maximized
productivity, and heightened profitability
for the organization.
Dr. Bywater is a specialist in human
behavior and behavioral change. She
brings her sophisticated understanding of
people, relationships, and communication
to the corporate environment to help her
clients effect meaningful and lasting
improvements in job effectiveness. Dr.
Bywater writes and speaks on a variety of
workplace topics, including the power of
collaboration, effective workplace
communication, and outstanding leadership.
She has been published and quoted in such
publications as the NY Times and the
International Herald Tribune.
Dr. Bywater earned her PhD at the Derner
Institute of Advanced Psychological
Studies. She earned her AB at Cornell
University, where she graduated Phi Beta
Kappa and Cum Laude with Distinction.
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