10 Perfect Ways to Make Any Commercial Lender Angry
10 Perfect Ways to Make Any Commercial Lender Angry
1) Personal Financial statement is merely a piece of paper. Don’t spend your precious time by answering all the questions.
2) Nobody cares about your net worth. Math is not important. You are not at elementary school; teacher would not get angry because two plus two is five. Put any number you want to or any numbers that looks nice.
3) Credit score system is just a joke. Only fools pay their bills on-time or at all. Be frank with the bank: you have a perfect credit history. Credit score of 300 IS great.
4) Never provide your resume. Your experience is irrelevant to your current project. Take bank to court for invasion of privacy.
5) Bank will never read your paperwork anyway; complete application in your most hard to read handwriting. Red or yellow ink is perfect.
6) Never send your tax returns – tax returns are the private matter between you and IRS. Bank must be joking asking for it.
7) Never send business tax returns. Bank must trust your word that the business is doing great. In any case you are protected by the Fifth Amendment.
8) It is perfectly all right to insult loan officer - you are protected by the First Amendment.
9) It is not bank’s business what you are going to do with the money. Protect your ideas – never put them in writing. Just promise that you are going to make a lot of dough.
10) Submit only forged documents. Bank has no means to check them anyway.
Copyright 2005 by Marina Lando
Business Loan Quest, LLC
1251 NW Maynard Rd., PMB# 119
Cary, NC 27513
B: 919-469-1505 Fax: 919-386-8013
10 Perfect Ways to Make Any Commercial Lender Angry - To learn more about this author, visit Marina Lando's Website.
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(From “Ways of Success in Business and Private Life” by Marina Lando)
1) Personal Financial statement is merely a piece of paper. Don’t spend your precious time by answering all the questions.
2) Nobody cares about your net worth. Math is not important. You are not at elementary school; teacher would not get angry because two plus two is five. Put any number you want to or any numbers that looks nice.
3) Credit score system is just a joke. Only fools pay their bills on-time or at all. Be frank with the bank: you have a perfect credit history. Credit score of 300 IS great.
4) Never provide your resume. Your experience is irrelevant to your current project. Take bank to court for invasion of privacy.
5) Bank will never read your paperwork anyway; complete application in your most hard to read handwriting. Red or yellow ink is perfect.
6) Never send your tax returns – tax returns are the private matter between you and IRS. Bank must be joking asking for it.
7) Never send business tax returns. Bank must trust your word that the business is doing great. In any case you are protected by the Fifth Amendment.
8) It is perfectly all right to insult loan officer - you are protected by the First Amendment.
9) It is not bank’s business what you are going to do with the money. Protect your ideas – never put them in writing. Just promise that you are going to make a lot of dough.
10) Submit only forged documents. Bank has no means to check them anyway.
Copyright 2005 by Marina Lando
Business Loan Quest, LLC
1251 NW Maynard Rd., PMB# 119
Cary, NC 27513
B: 919-469-1505 Fax: 919-386-8013
10 Perfect Ways to Make Any Commercial Lender Angry - To learn more about this author, visit Marina Lando's Website.
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