Why This Headline Works
by Michael Masterson
One of the oldest ideas about headlines is that they should be short – fewer than eight words. So let's take a look at some of the super-successful direct-mail promotions published in AWAI's "Hall of Fame" to see how this theory holds up:
Trout Spoken Here. (Also Bass. Salmon. And Bonefish.)
What Never To Eat On An Airplane
Profit With The Insiders Without Breaking A Law
Read This Or Go Broke!
Burn Disease Out Of Your Body
A Rare Opportunity To Turn $5,000 Into $3.52 Million
Tax Saving Information Most IRS Agents Don't Have
Fearless Conversation!
The Lazy Man's Way To Riches
Endangered Antidotes
11 Medical Breakthroughs That Will Rock The World
The Plague Of The Black Debt
When it's all said and done, 26 headlines in the "Hall of Fame" contain no more than eight words.
And if you stroll through Carl Galletti's "2001 Greatest Headlines Ever Written," you'll find that about 60% of the headlines contain eight words or less.
Most tellingly for me, however, is this: Of all the direct-response promotions that have worked well for my clients, the lion's share had short headlines:
Fed Up?
Unlock Wall Street's Secret Logic!
The Coming Oil War!
Not Just For Millionaires Any More
The Greatest Opportunity Of Our Times
So what can we conclude from all this? How about this: Although there are plenty of exceptions, it seems clear that when it comes to headlines brevity is a virtue.
What's so good about brevity? Let's start with the obvious. Short headlines are easy to scan. A headline of five or six words, printed boldly on top of a letter or across an envelope, cannot be missed. Its power to attract the eye is almost 100%.
Contrast that to a headline that is almost a paragraph long. It may very well "work," but only after a significant number of prospects have dumped it in the trash basket because they (a) recognized it as advertising and (b) made an instant decision that they didn't have 15 or 20 seconds to read it. That never happens to a short headline.
However, getting your headline read doesn't guarantee success. Unless your headline says something that links with your promotion's Big Idea, is compelling, and implies a benefit, it will end up in the same trash basket – just a second or so later.
Great headlines – breakthrough headlines – are "tipping-point" phenomena. They encapsulate the cutting-edge thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that a given group of people feel about a specific thing.
When, for example, Lee Euler wrote his blockbuster headline for Strategic Investment, "The Plague Of The Black Debt," he correctly identified what was, at the time, a major investment anxiety. The black-plague metaphor was just the thing, it turned out, to quickly summarize a complex and powerful fear about U.S. debt and the financial markets.
The importance of limiting the length of your main headline doesn't mean you have to scrap longer copy as part of your headline.
If your main headline grabs your prospect's attention in 5 to 8 words, you can build on your prospect's interest and curiosity with strong, compelling deck copy – copy that comes between the main headline and "Dear Friend."
To be successful, deck copy needs to be as powerful and compelling as any headline component. If it doesn't build on the excitement of the main headline, you have condemned the promotion.
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Quick Tip:
How to Connect with Potential Clients through 5 Million Contacts
by Will Newman
Kids know how to connect with each other – and stay connected – using the Internet. They have FaceBook, MySpace, and numerous other ways of making online connections. This is called social networking.
You can harness the same power of the Internet to make connections with other professionals and with potential clients.
One of the best sites is LinkedIn.com, with more than 5 million users in the United States. At LinkedIn, you create a free professional profile. Your name and a link to your profile are indexed on search engines like Google, Yahoo, and others.
When someone Googles your name, your profile appears in the search results, giving you an ideal way to showcase your skills and expertise.
For you, the most exciting part of social networking is this: Companies looking for creative professionals are now using professional networking sites like LinkedIn to find new talent.
Here are 2 tips for maximizing your success with LinkedIn:
Select "full view" of your "public profile"
"Full view" allows more of your profile's information to be shown, even when a Web user isn't logged in to LinkedIn. The more content, the more likely your profile will show up higher in the search results. (Personal data is never made public.)
Invite friends and professional contacts to link to you.
LinkedIn's power rests with the ability to use your connections to connect with other people. When you invite people to be one of your LinkedIn connections, you then have access to their connections, increasing the number of people with access to your professional information.
This helps people find you. And it helps you find someone at the company of your choice or in your field of interest.
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An Exclusive Interview with Jen Stevens, Travel Industry Expert
CI: Tell us a little about how you got started in copywriting.
JS: My first piece of copy masqueraded as a thank-you note to my grandmother, and I was seven when I wrote it. She died a few years ago, and my folks found the note when they were going through her papers. It included lines like, “But wait, I haven’t even told you what I liked most about your gift!”
Really, I climbed through an open window from editorial writing to copywriting. After working for some years as a business reporter and editor, I landed in the editor’s chair at International Living, an Agora publication.
There, in addition to writing and editing lots of articles, I also found myself editing reams of sales copy – to sell IL’s tours, conferences, special reports, books, newsletters, and more, all travel-related. It was my first introduction to direct-mail copy, and eventually I made the shift from editing it into writing it.
It was a natural shift. To a large extent, my articles read like copy. I always felt I should convince my reader that my argument was sound, that he should heed my advice whether it was to buy in Honduras or travel to Mexico.
And I was lucky, because back when I was at Agora, the company was still relatively small. And so I learned about copy from the likes of Bill Bonner and Michael Masterson. That was before AWAI’s copywriting program existed.
CI: How did you break into copywriting for the travel industry?
JS: As I said, I got my foot in the door at International Living, and so travel copy was a natural niche for me to pursue. Travel interests me, and it’s something I’m enthusiastic about. I find it easy to transfer that enthusiasm to the page.
Plus, my experiences as a traveler (I’ve lived overseas several times and traveled through much of the world) give me credibility in the eyes of clients, because I can write about many destinations from firsthand experience.
CI: What is your favorite part of writing for this industry?
JS: I like writing about travel because it allows me to write about something enjoyable and romantic. Plus, I’m often selling a dream that’s immediately accessible – and I like that, too.
I suppose with lots of copy – travel or not – you’re selling a dream (at some level, anyway). With health copy, maybe your reader dreams of being pain-free. With financial copy, maybe he dreams of being financially independent.
With travel copy, the dream might be of the perfect two-week vacation. Not so grandiose, perhaps. But fun.
That said, a lot of the travel copy I write is what I think of as “lifestyle” copy. I’m not just selling a dream vacation, but a way of living that incorporates travel.
For instance, I just wrote a promotion to sell a conference about International Business Opportunities – careers you can pursue overseas that will provide you with the flexibility, income, and freedom you need to live anywhere in the world you choose. So there, as you can see, the dream is bigger. And I love that it holds such promise of a good life, such romance.
CI: What is the first thing you do when starting a new package for a travel-oriented product or service?
JS: The first thing I worry about is the Big Idea. I can’t really write until I’ve nailed down that unique position. It’s something I think is best done with the client. So I like to have a brainstorming call to talk about their vision for the product. That way, I’m sure I’m off in the right direction from the start.
On that call, I also ask for promotions that have worked best for them recently (always useful) as well as any promotions for similar products that have worked in the past. Say I’m writing a promo for a tour to China. In that case, I’d like to read what the client ran last year for their tour to India.
I take detailed notes during those calls, and often I’ll find that some bit of my headline or a story for a lead comes right from what somebody says.
The first thing I write, then, is the headline and lead. For me, that’s always the hardest part. Once I have that figured out, the rest usually comes pretty quickly.
CI: How do you connect with your audience when writing copy for the travel industry?
JS: I think the most important way to connect with an audience of travelers is to take your reader on a little trip – to illustrate the promise of your product by painting a picture of it for the reader.
Good travel copy is descriptive. That does not mean it’s full of adjectives and prose that gushes. Instead, it relies on specific details to paint pictures a reader can see in his mind.
“Imagine yourself on a beautiful tropical island” is not as strong as, say, “On this island, the warm water, bath-tub calm, laps quietly on sand as fine as talcum powder.”
CI: Can you give us a little snapshot of your writing process?
As I said, I like to write the headline and lead first, since that’s always the hardest part for me to nail. I’ll usually write a headline 15 or 20 times before I get it right. Sometimes more. I just write pages and pages of headlines until I’ve cooked the idea down to the core promise I want to make.
(I usually keep my list of headlines, by the way, since I sometimes find great subheads in there.)
Because I think stories and descriptions are so effective in leads – particularly in travel copy – I try to find an image that best illustrates my promise and begin with that.
Sometimes, if I know I need to get started and I just haven’t quite figured out what the Big Idea for my piece is going to be – or how to frame it for my reader – I’ll start by typing in all the boring stuff. Like how much this product costs and how to order. I’ll just get something on the page.
That gives me some momentum – and a page that’s no longer blank. And then I find it easier to get started working on the beginning of the promotion.
CI: How involved are you with the design process? Do you think the design plays a more important role in travel copywriting than in other copywriting niches?
JS: I always offer suggestions for layout with my copy – where sidebars should go, where pull-quotes should go, where testimonials should go.
But I’m not usually that involved with the final layout. Certainly, if I have a vision for how I think it should look, I include notes about that. And if I have a strong opinion about what sorts of photos should be where, then I would even include some samples to show the designer what I mean.
(And, in fact, I’m beginning to think I should be more specific in my instructions than I usually am. I just wrote a promo that’s up online now – and I think the designer went nuts. It’s so broken up by illustrations that go all the way across the page, it’s impossible to read.)
Do I think design is more important with travel than with other niches? No. With travel, you’re lucky because the photos of the places you’re writing about can make your copy look great. I think that’s an advantage. A good designer will capitalize on that.
But to my mind, the copy is always king. And so while great photos can certainly help catch a reader’s eye – get somebody to pick up your piece – it’s the copy that will sell him on the destination.
CI: What’s the hardest part of writing copy for the travel industry?
JS: The most difficult part is writing descriptions that really transport a reader. In truth, it’s not that hard to do. But most folks have no idea how to go about it.
They fill their copy with “travel speak” – words like, “beautiful,” “lovely,” “pretty,” “idyllic” that don’t really say anything about the place they’re describing. Those are generic terms.
Instead, the key is to come up with a few well-chosen specifics that will immediately give your reader a concrete sense of what this place you’re “selling” has to offer. Say you’re writing a website for a resort. Instead of saying “It’s remote and laid-back,” tell your reader “You’ll fly in on a six-seater plane and Bob (usually with no shoes on) will meet you at the airstrip, toss your bags into his pickup, and drive you the five minutes on sandy roads to the resort.”
CI: Is there one thing that you always do when writing copy for the travel industry?
JS: I think about the dream I’m selling and try to capture it immediately in the copy with a story or a description that transports my reader.
CI: What advice do you have for copywriters wishing to break into this niche?
JS: I think it’s important to learn something about writing travel articles if you’re to be a good travel copywriter.
(To my mind, good travel stories prompt a reader to take action – to put his paper down and say to his wife, “We really should take this trip, you’d love it.” And that’s exactly what travel sales copy is meant to do as well.)
So, first, read travel articles. You can read online the travel content of most major newspapers for free (even if you must pay to access their news archives). And you should subscribe to a travel magazine – they go for $10 or $12 a year. Money well spent.
Second, travel more. The more experience you have as a traveler, the more (and better) perspective and judgment you bring to your copy. The more of the world you’ve seen, the better able you are to identify what makes a particular place special.
And, third, learn some travel-writing tricks. I write regular articles about travel writing for “The Right Way to Travel,” AWAI’s free e-letter for travel writers.
In addition, I wrote AWAI’s home-study program on travel writing, and in it I talk quite a bit about what makes for good travel stories and how to produce them. I think you’ll find that the lessons I include there transfer directly to travel copy.
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Eight Secrets for Reaching Your Travel Prospect
by Heather Robson
While there are many potential audiences in the travel industry, there are two key categories that you should recognize: the actual traveler and the armchair traveler.
The actual traveler is someone who is planning to take a trip, because he or she wants to go somewhere and experience it firsthand. While the armchair traveler is someone who wants to be knowledgeable about the world—as knowledgeable as if they had traveled extensively—but isn’t actually planning to travel any time soon.
So in order to write a successful package for the travel industry, you must first determine if you are writing to an actual traveler or an armchair traveler. And then once you’ve determined that, you can use the following secrets to reach them.
Four Secrets for Reaching Actual Travelers:
Determine the Niche Audience. Some folks love to travel on a budget, others demand luxury. Some want high adventure, others are looking for intense pampering. Some revel in roughing it, others want to be immersed in local culture. And still others are looking for business opportunities.
There are many specialty niches when it comes to travel, and there are tours to meet every need imaginable. For one assignment, you may write to promote an all-inclusive trip that is built around experiencing local cuisine. Your next assignment may be for a college research trip where travelers can join a team and assist with a project – think digging up dinosaur bones in the Badlands or cruising the Antarctic to map icebergs.
So, your first step when writing to actual travelers is to figure out who you are writing to.
Make the Trip Tangible. Visual language is very important when writing to travelers. You must get them excited about the possibility of seeing, touching, tasting, and even smelling a new place. The “show, don’t tell” rule is never more applicable than when writing to these people.
Choose Between Exclusivity and Accessibility. When you are writing to a traveler, you can create a sense of urgency and excitement by playing up the exclusivity of the deal you are offering. If you are writing for a health-related tour of Peru that happens once a year and only takes 20 people, then exclusivity is a must in your package.
If, however, the offer you are making is not exclusive, then you want to emphasize accessibility. Making travel plans takes action – and you want to make that action as easy as possible for your reader.
Get in Touch With the Core Desire. This follows from understanding who your target audience is. People travel for deeply emotional reasons. They travel to satisfy their wanderlust. They travel to build unforgettable memories. They travel to connect with people they never would have met otherwise. They travel to bring deeper meaning to their lives. When writing to an actual traveler, identify that deepest of motivators and find a way to connect with it.
Four Secrets for Reaching Armchair Travelers:
Visuals Are Just as Important. When you are writing to an armchair traveler, you are writing to someone who wants to be seen as a traveler, but who still thinks “Maybe someday …” when it comes to actually planning a trip. Armchair travelers – even more so than actual travelers – need you to put them into a new world. You do this with visual language.
Take a look at this long-running headline for International Living, a newsletter that reaches both actual and armchair travelers. Notice the images it evokes:
You look out your window, past your gardener, who is busily pruning the lemon, cherry, and fig trees … amidst the splendor of gardenias, hibiscus, and hollyhocks. The sky is clear blue.
The sea is a deeper blue, sparkling with sunlight.
A gentle breeze comes drifting in from the ocean, clean and refreshing, as your maid brings you breakfast in bed.
For a moment, you think you have died and gone to heaven.
But this paradise is real. And affordable. In fact, it costs only half as much to live this dream lifestyle … as it would to stay in your own home!
You’re Probably Working With an Information Product. Usually, the kind of product that appeals to an armchair traveler is an information product. That means its worth comes from a Big Idea … not from its features. Who cares if it’s a magazine that delivers 32 pages of once-in-a-lifetime travel deals each month? The Big Idea is that the travel magazine will give you knowledge that not everyone has … that you’ll be the one your friends turn to when the subject of traveling the world – and getting great deals – comes up. When writing for an information product, don’t stop until you’ve uncovered the Big Idea.
Opportunity Knocks. Even though armchair travelers may never actually plan a trip, they are tickled by the notion of having the possibilities and opportunities near at hand. This is what travel information products deliver in spades. So make sure you describe the opportunities they’ll gain from your product.
Look for the Crossovers. In the end, most armchair travelers think of themselves as actual travelers, so take every opportunity to write to them as such. Never, Never, NEVER condescend to your reader … but always include that one little magical line: “You can enjoy the wonders of the world from your own home …” or something like it.
[Editorial Note: Heather has recently taken on the role of Editor-in-Chief for Copywriting Insider. She is a talented copywriter who occasionally also writes for The Golden Thread. If you missed her article last week on the power of a good story, you can check it out here.]
Secrets of a Master: Why This Headline Works - To learn more about this author, visit AWAI’s The Golden Thread 's Website.
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This article appears courtesy of The
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