Tweet

Want To Build More Trust In Your Relationships?

Guest post by: Margie Warrell

Article Overview: Trust lies at the core of all our relationships. And yet, if you ask 100 people exactly what trust is, you will likely get 100 different answers. The reason is that the concept of trust is not so easy to comprehend when it comes to relationships. So can you build more trust? That depends.

Want To Build More Trust In Your Relationships?

I'm a pretty trusting person. And by and large I've found that it's served me well to assume that most people are honest, well-meaning and trust-worthy. That said, I've also learned from some less than pleasant experiences that there are times when I need to hold back placing trust in someone or to just be more discerning what I trust them with. Like the time in back in my penny pinching university days when I foolishly trusted a roommate-novice hairdresser to put highlights in my hair. I looked like a leopard! Trust lies at the core of all our relationships. And yet, if you ask 100 people exactly what trust is, you will likely get 100 different answers. The reason is that the concept of trust is complex; and whilst we are often clear about who we trust (and don't trust), we're often much less clear about why.

When working with clients on trust, many of whom have leadership roles in organizations and are faced with issues of trust (or lack thereof) daily, understanding the three key elements of trust can be helpful. My guess is they will also be helpful to you -- first in enabling you to better distinguish specifically why you don't trust someone and second, in helping you become more effective in building trust yourself (or repairing it when damaged). After all, your ability to develop trusting relationships is pivotal to not only your personal relationships but also to your effectiveness at work at every turn.

The Three Elements of Trust

There are three core elements of trust that are all interrelated. Whenever a person is perceived to act in a way that undermines trust in any of these areas, trust overall is diminished.

Competence: The element of competence is what I call "domain specific" in that it depends on what area of expertise or skill you are assessing someone to be trustworthy in. For instance, you might trust me to cook you a roast dinner or to coach you to achieve a goal, but you wouldn't trust me to give you a root canal (for good reason!). Likewise, I trust my kids to put their bikes away after they've ridden them, but I would not trust them to cook me a roast dinner. Not yet anyway. More training is required! So the question to ask here is, "Does this person have the ability, knowledge, relevant experience and resources to perform this specific task in this domain of expertise?"

Reliability: Reliability is about whether you can count on someone to manage and honor their commitments. Or put another way, to do what they say they'll do when they say they'll do it. So you may trust someone to be competent at a particular task and sincere in their intention to do it, but their track record of unreliability, whether it be tardiness or sloppy work, keeps you from trusting them completely. The question to ask, "Can I count on this person to keep their promises and get the task done properly and by the agreed time frame?"

Sincerity: Sincerity relates directly to our assessment of someone's character. Of all three elements of trust, sincerity is the hardest to build, and the most pivotal in our decision whether or not to place your trust in someone; and it's what we want, need and expect from those who are in positions of formal leadership - from our President to our company CEO. Of course, you may not necessarily care much whether the person cutting your hair is cheating on their tax return (or their spouse), but you may well care a lot if it was your local senator or boss.

Sincerity is also the most difficult element to repair when damaged, which explains why infidelity has a far greater impact on a marriage than a spouse who simply forgets their anniversary or why discovering that a colleague has derided you behind your back does more damage than if they were just habitually running late for meetings. So the question to ask here is, "Is this person genuine and someone who means what they say with a strong sense of integrity?"

So, armed with new knowledge (and new competence!) in trust, how might you apply it in your relationships at work, with family members or friends? Of course, that's not to say that you aren't trustworthy right now, but take time to look at where you may have either inadvertently allowed trust to flat line through neglect or damaged it by your behavior. How might you build or restore trust if you were to:

* Develop skills to grow your competence in a particular area?

* Improve your punctuality?

* Share how you genuinely feel about an issue?

* Manage your commitments more effectively so that you get things done properly and on time?

* Apologize for offending someone (even unintentionally)?

* Attempt to make amends for a wrongdoing that damaged trust?

Distrust is Very Expensive

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, "distrust is very expensive." The fact is, without trust, influence wanes, intimacy erodes, relationships crumble, careers derail, organizations fail to prosper (and ultimately, also crumble) and, in short, nothing much works. Wherever trust is missing, opportunity is lost -- opportunity to prosper, to exert influence, to deepen intimacy, to enjoy harmony, to collaborate, to foster understanding, to succeed at the very things that matter to you.

You cannot force others to become more trustworthy, but you can become more worthy of trust yourself. By raising your own bar, through your words and actions, and being the change you want to see in others, you can ultimately create a more trusting environment around you. So no matter how full the trust accounts are in your relationships, it's never too late to work at building trust, and you can never work too hard at maintaining it.

Related Articles
  Trust, Abundance and Success
  The Power of Trust
  Relationship Building - 5 Tips and 5 Questions
  Why Every Business Can Benefit from Blogging
  4 Must Know Strategies To Thrive In Any Economy
  Why You Need Offline Networking Strategies for Your Business
  Establishing Trust – How to Build Relationships and Make Them Work For You
  A Tryst with Trust
  When, if ever, is it time to quit building a relationship with a potential referral source?
  Networking – A major element of success for your business
  Keeping the "Human" In Human Resources
  The Strategic Importance of Trust In Business, According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
  Do you make your clients feel safe?
  Ten Tips to Build a Culture of Trust
  No One Is a Lost Cause
  No Trust, No Team: Building Trust in a Virtual Setting
  Customer Relationships The Key to Sales Prosperity
  Top 5 Tips For Building Business Relationships
  Why Great Workplace Relationships Are So Valuable
  Are You Building Trust With Your Clients?

Article Tags: build more trust, building trust, competence, elements of trust, issues of trust, Ralph Waldo Emerson, reliability, sincerity, trust, trust in relationships, trustworthy



Related Forum Posts
Re: Essential Leadership skills - Vigilance Trust An ability to DELEGATE
Re: Great start, but no finish - My advise is FOCUS on your business. Focusing is the main factor to succeed on business. If you have a great idea, then follow it only, don't look anywhere else. It is especially essential in an online business. Because there are a lot of mind blowing sales letters promising millions dolllars or overnight success, people find it difficult to concentrate on one business and they lose their energy. Concept is simple. 1- Have a good idea; 2- Build your business on it; 3- Monetize your business; 4- Promote it; 5- Build list of responsive customers; 6- Maintain You Business. Focusing and not fearing from competition (instead you can learn from competitiors) are main tips of billionaires ,BTW. Orxan
Re: How to do Link Building? - Be diligent. Build blogs.Pay attention to the contents.
How do you know if you have a good idea? - [quote="orxan":3118uboz]My advise is FOCUS on your business. Focusing is the main factor to succeed on business. If you have a great idea, then follow it only, don't look anywhere else. It is especially essential in an online business. Because there are a lot of mind blowing sales letters promising millions dolllars or overnight success, people find it difficult to concentrate on one business and they lose their energy. Concept is simple. 1- Have a good idea; 2- Build your business on it; 3- Monetize your business; 4- Promote it; 5- Build list of responsive customers; 6- Maintain You Business. Focusing and not fearing from competition (instead you can learn from competitiors) are main tips of billionaires ,BTW. Orxan[/quote:3118uboz] Thanks orxan! But how do you know if you truly have a good idea or not? If we ask ourselves, we may be suffering from tunnel vision. On the other hand, friends/family may try to discourage us from pursuing a small business because of their own fears, while others will simply give us an empty "you can do it!" line.
Starting A Business - go get a customer! you can have a great idea but if you don't have a customer you'll never be successful. Build a product / service around someone who will pay you for what you can offer! It's the best way to build a business.


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Counselling - Who Needs It?

How To Be A Management Legend

When Living the Dream isn't enough!

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.