Making the Most of Networking Events

Here’s the thing about networking: It’s nothing more than talking to people. But, for some reason, many people have trouble doing that.

Whether it’s not knowing what to say or imagining that someone else doesn’t want to talk to you, something seems to get in the way of simple communication between two people.

It doesn’t have to be that way. There are strategies you can use and preparation you can do to get ready for these conversations.

Reaching out at a networking event

First of all, arrive early. If you wait until most of the attendees are already there, it will seem like everyone is already engaged in conversation (which isn’t usually the case—it just may look that way) and it won’t be as easy to find your way in. By arriving early, you can greet others as they arrive and engage them in conversation before they find someone else to talk to.

You arrive at an event—what do you do first? Sign in, pay your money, get your nametag, right? It’s not too early to start marketing yourself. Instead of trying to get away with as little interaction as possible, start connecting right away with whoever is there. So if you’re signing in, that means introducing yourself to the person behind that little table and letting her know this is your first event.

This connection is a good idea because she is likely to be very involved in the group and can introduce you around. She might hand you off to someone who will make you feel at home. After all, she wants you to have a good experience and come back to another meeting. Also, if your first interaction is a positive one, it will relieve your anxiety considerably so the next one will be that much easier. It could very well be smooth sailing from that moment on, all because of that first interaction you initiated.

Where to sit

Despite the fact that the purpose of a networking event is to meet other people, many people just sit and wait for the networking to happen to them, rather than being proactive and initiating conversations. If this is your tendency, catch it early and do something different.

You may notice people scattered around the room, one lone person in each row of chairs or at each table. Instead of doing the same, choose one person, approach him and say, “Do you mind if I join you?” Then introduce yourself and you’re off into conversation land. (And if not, read on for what to say.)

If the event is a presentation where you may have a chance to ask questions, sit near the front. That way, the presenter is more likely to call on you, and you may even have a chance to tell the group who you are and what you do.

It sometimes helps to attend an event with a friend or colleague—but once you’ve got your nametags on, go your separate ways. It’s too easy to clump together, which discourages others from approaching you. Many opportunities to make new contacts are lost because people sit with their cohorts or with the same “safe” buddies every time. Make it a habit to sit with people you don’t know. If one of your important clients or contacts is at the meeting, sit with him or her, but make sure you are seated at a table with strangers as well.

If you do bring a friend, split up to meet people and then introduce those people to each other. Or stay together and approach loners in the room and say, “Have you met [friend’s name]? She has this great company.” It is easier to brag about your friend as a way to introduce her. Being introduced by someone else makes conversation easier. Be sure to give quality introductions to your colleagues. Practice the introductions in advance.

Be one of the hosts. Once you’ve started attending a particular meeting regularly and you feel comfortable, take a more active role as one of the hosts—formal or informal. All you have to do is stand near the door so you can greet people and introduce yourself as they walk in, making them feel comfortable and welcome. Or if you’re at a table with others, become a “table moderator” and suggest that everyone introduce themselves and exchange business cards.

Who to talk to

Be random about where you sit or whom you approach. Do you have the bad habit of imagining you can tell, simply by a person’s outfit or facial expression, whether they need design services? Of course, you know that you can’t tell much about a person’s needs by their wardrobe, so this strategy is a particularly ineffective one. So don’t judge. Just sit next to someone randomly and see what happens.

Look for wallflowers. Instead of trying to break into conversations that are already in progress, find someone who is sitting or standing by himself and simply introduce yourself. Do it even if he looks like he doesn’t want to be approached. The outward standoffishness may merely be a cover for discomfort (as yours may be).

Ask for introductions. If you see someone you’d like to meet, don’t stand there wishing they would magically know that and come up to you. Ask someone (such as one of the group’s staff members or the director of the group) to introduce you. Don’t hesitate to do the same if you notice on the attendance list or in the display of waiting nametags that someone you’d like to meet is scheduled to attend.


How to Join an Ongoing Conversation

Sometimes it may seem as though everyone is already in a conversation and no one is available to talk to you. What do you do?

Join in. Whether people are standing around chatting or sitting around a table, you can join in. While this may not be appropriate in other environments, in a networking environment, it is expected. Here’s how to join a conversation:

Look for a physical opening. If there is a chair available, sit down, smile and listen to the person who is speaking. Generally, people will acknowledge your presence without interrupting the speaker. You should be both unobtrusive and present, so that when there is a conversational opening, you can introduce yourself and become part of the conversation. When there’s a break in the conversation, say, “May I join you?”


What to say

This is one of the biggest obstacles for most people. You’re fine once you’re in a conversation; getting in is the challenge.

Some environments are easier than others. There will no doubt be events or parties where you just don’t feel welcomed or in the mood to chat. Try to get over that by using your conversation skills and topics.

Exchange the basics, but don’t focus on yourself. Instead, become interesting, which means become a good conversationalist. This includes listening well and bringing ideas, topics, questions, projects and your own challenges to discuss.

Interesting things are probably constantly happening to you. Do you take notice of them? You should, if your goal is to become a good conversationalist. All you have to do is notice, remember the anecdote and then bring it up the next time you’re in a networking situation.

Here are a few example topics to use as conversation starters:

– Current events. You may want to stay away from politics, but you can always talk about the latest scientific discovery, award recipients and sports tournaments. Movies are generally safe territory and quickly give you a good idea of what kind of person you’re talking to.

– Facts you’ve learned or books you’ve read. Bring up a novel, biography or especially a business book that you’ve read, and share a bit of what you’ve learned.

– Personal stuff. If you have a new pet or are thinking of getting one, bring it up. If you were recently summoned to jury duty, bring it up.

– When in doubt, talk about the food. If there is a buffet, stand by it and make recommendations to anyone who approaches about what’s good (or bad). But be sure to keep your hands free to shake hands and exchange business cards.


Making the Most of Networking Events - To learn more about this author, visit Ilise Benun's Website.

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