A Negative Thought Can Ruin Your Day. A Postive Thought Can Save the Day!
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Free Download - Who are your team members? By Elizabeth J. Macarthur |
So what is a negative thought anyways? And where does it come from? These are two great questions to start this article off with.
A negative thought is a string of words that run throughout our mind, sometimes running out of control. It is a thought that is disempowering, self-destructive, justifying, a put-down, a criticism, guilt, shame, blame, controlling and it originates from the ego. The ego has this innate ability to take an outside circumstance, focus upon the negative aspects of it, and create thoughts in our mind about it, all before we even know what has happened. Pretty powerful, don't you think? Only problem is, it is powerful in a negative way.
Have you ever had this experience? You're in a fairly good mood going along with your day. And then suddenly a single, negative thought enters your mind. It catches your attention and focus. The next thing you know the thought has turned into several thoughts, and then a story, and then a movie (and in my case has carried on to create world war three). And now, that fairly good mood that you were having has been replaced with negative emotions like anger, resentment, hurt, frustration, being taken advantage of, betrayal, arguments, etc. And this has all happened within the last five minutes!
Or how about this one: I get excited about doing something new and different. As I listen for the first time about this new adventure, I can feel the excitement and passion run through my veins and I know that this is for me. The next day the excitement starts t0 diminish a little, questions start to come up in the form of doubts -- negative thoughts, and friends or family members start to point out what they think is wrong with it. The following day the excitement diminishes even more and the doubts start to turn into fear (more negative thoughts). And before I know it, I have now convinced myself that it is not a good idea, and have talked myself out of it even though I knew in my gut that it was right for me.
So why do we choose to let this happen? It goes back to awareness. If I don't know anything about how my mind works, or what the ego really is, or even anything about thoughts, than I would be oblivious to what just happened. I would not be aware of where the negativity was coming from. And because I am not aware of it, I can not stop it before it does the damage. One negative thought can truly lead to a ruined day if it is left unchecked.
So what does it mean to be aware of my negative thoughts?
a) Paying attention on a conscious level to what you are thinking. It really is that simple. Start practicing paying attention to the conversations in your mind rather than just going on autopilot.
b) Start identifying, on a conscious level what the negative thoughts are.
c) Write them down so you'll recognize them the next time they show up.
d) Make a list of the things that are going on in your life right now that you are not happy with. And then watch for the negative thoughts that relate to these.
e) Make a list of the goals and dreams that you are presently working on and pay attention to the negative thoughts that show up around these.
And then when you are ready to start getting rid of the negative thoughts from your mind, practice the following visualization:
a) In your mind, take the thought and roll it into a ball;
b) Next, visualize throwing that ball far, far away. I visualize throwing the ball into the back 40 as I grew up on a farm.
c) If the thought immediately returns, which is will for the first while, roll it up in a ball and throw it away again.
d) Keep doing this until the thought is finally gone and you can, once again, engage in positive thinking.
This is a great little technique that I learned many years ago while taking leadership training from Klemmer and Associates and has proved to be very effective. Although when I first started practicing this technique, the same thought would come back five, six, seven times and I would keep throwing it away. As time went on and I grew more confident in this technique, that grew less and less. Today, one good throw and it's gone and my day is not ruined.
So now on to how a positive thought can save the day. And back to our basic questions, what is a positive thought and where does it come from?
Similar to the negative thought, the positive thought is also a string of words that run throughout our mind that really needs to be running out of control. It is a thought that is empowering, uplifting, supportive, loving, energetic, trusting, full of faith, moves us forward, validating, increases self-esteem and confidence, increases courage and resilience and it originates from our authentic self. When we are able to connect with our authentic self, it has the innate ability to manifest miracles. Now that's much more powerful and a more productive place to operate from.
So why do we choose not to operate from there? Again it is about awareness. If you were consciously aware that negative thoughts were standing in the way of you connection with your authentic self and creating all that you wanted for yourself, wouldn't you do something about it?
When I finally figured this out, I immediately made a decision that I wanted to learn all that I could about awareness, negative thoughts and the ego so that I would be in a position to choose differently. I'd like to believe that if we were given the conscious choice (meaning someone was offering us the two choices) between the negative thought and the positive thought, we would choose the positive thought every time. So the goal for me became about putting myself in the place where I would, more and more, be able to identify when the negative thought popped up so I could stop that thought and choose something positive -- kind of like changing the subject.
Here are some things that I had to work on to increase my own internal positive thinking:
a) Increasing my self-esteem;
b) Knowing and believing that I deserved the best for me;
c) Stop listening to others' opinions of me which were not supportive;
d) Practice and do the techniques;
e) Start trusting myself and my own intuition even more; and
f) Keep reading, keep learning, keep open to new information that would move me forward;
Do an inventory on yourself and make a list of the aspects of yourself that you would like to work on, put that out to the Universe, and stay alert to the different ways the information will come to you. And most importantly, practice awareness. It is the key.
With love and gratitude,
Elizabeth
A Negative Thought Can Ruin Your Day A Postive Thought Can Save the Day - To learn more about this author, visit Elizabeth J. Macarthur's Website.
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is a best-selling author, top-rated speaker and thought leader on sales development. He is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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