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Is My Happiness Where I Really Think It is?

Written by: Elizabeth J. Macarthur

Article Overview: I have discovered that the topic of "happiness" is one of those taboo subjects that people don't want to talk about or get uncomfortable around. Which really is unfortunate because that same discussion could lead to some new information that could shift everything. Happiness, like anything else worth having, needs to be evaluated, needs to be worked on, needs new information and tools to pave the way for a greater level of happiness and requires our attention and commitment. Happiness is something to get excited about, not something to be feared or resisted. And happiness is available to everyone regardless of any current or existing circumstances. Now that's exciting. If you are open to some new infromation, please read the article. Warning: The reading of this article can cause more happiness!

Is My Happiness Where I Really Think It is?

Do you have this feeling or inkling that maybe, just maybe, life is supposed to be easier or happier than what it is? You know it sounds logical but you just don’t know how to access it?

What would you say if I told you, “Happiness, and I mean authentic happiness, was YOUR birthright.” You would probably tell me that I was crazy or delusional because that has not been your experience, and probably not the experience of many, if any, of your friends or family.

You are probably thinking that happiness does not exist for you or at least you haven’t been able to find it yet. Or maybe you are one of the lucky ones that have already mastered the art of true happiness.

For many years it was not my experience. For years I thought that happiness was one of those fluff words that really didn’t mean anything or was just for other people, not me. I pretended I was happy so I didn’t have to deal with whatever was making me unhappy.

In fact, I did such a great job pretending that I had actually convinced myself I was happy even though not much ever seemed to work out for me in my life the way I wanted it to. And if anyone dared to challenge that I wasn’t happy, I would defend my happiness to the hilt by justifying my life. Sound familiar? Having any connectors?

Now, that’s not to say that there wasn’t some happiness in my life because there was. There has to be some happiness to keep us moving forward. However, there was far more unhappy moments than happy moments.

I eventually reached a point where having more unhappy moments than happy moments just didn’t seem right or fair to me. I knew I was a good person and figured I deserved more. So I made a decision to set out to tip the balance of the scales to more happy moments and less unhappy moments.

I know it’s like a balancing act, and it is up to me to determine which way I want the scales to tip. I get to determine that, to control the tipping of the scales. And no one else gets a say in it unless I give them permission to determine which way the scales are tipped.

And I have to tell you, when I made the decision to do something about my own unhappiness and took responsibility for me, that’s when things really started to change and get better. That’s when I stepped up to the plate and took my power of choice back.

Now, I know you are probably thinking things right now like, “But you don’t know my situation. You don’t understand. That’s easy for you to say. That’s not my life.” And you would be justified in thinking that based on your life experiences to date.

There is no doubt that there is a lot of negativity out there, a lot of bad things happening. We are totally surrounded by it. However, something we continue to forget or neglect is that there are a lot of great positive things out there and we are surrounded by good things also.

We tend to only see or create that which we are focusing on the most. So if I am focusing on the negative or unhappiness, I will create and attract more of that. Likewise, if I am focusing on the positive and happiness, I will create and attract more of the positive things going on.

I have often wondered what would happen if newscasters and newspapers reported only the positive news instead of the negative news. I know that would go a long way towards shifting the scales in supporting us to believe we could create a happier world to live in. And it would also support us in recognizing that there are a lot of great things happening for others out there, and can happen for us as well.

Happiness Survey

Below are 10 true or false questions for you to consider. This is an opportunity for you to check in with yourself and what you are thinking in regards to your own level of happiness.

The more honestly you answer the questions, the more you will gain from the exercise. Quite often it is the first answer that we think of that is the most accurate, however sometimes we will doubt our first answer and want to go with another answer.

Trust your first answer to be the right one for you and see what happens.

(1) I want to believe that I deserve to be happy but struggle with believing it will ever happen for me. True False

(2) I need a shot of happiness injected directly into my life right now to take away some of the stress so I can breathe a sigh of relief. True False

(3) I notice that other people seem to be happy and are living great lives, but I don’t know how to do that for myself or where to start. True False

(4) I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of not understanding and wondering why happiness seems to elude me no matter what I do. True False

(5) I believe that my happiness is determined by others and outside circumstances, therefore I believe that I have very little to no control over my own happiness. True False

(6) I am just waiting for that one more thing to happen and then I’ll be happy whether it is in my personal life or professional life. True False

(7) I know I am a good person and want to believe that good things should happen for me. True False

(8) I believe that it is normal to suffer, to experience adversity, to live through hard times and pay my dues so that happiness will come later. True False

(9) I have no idea what it even means to be happy, what it looks like, what it feels like, or how it should show itself. It’s been too long since I have had happy moments. True False

(10) I don’t have time right now to be happy. My life is too busy. I’m too busy working, taking care of the children, too busy just living and making ends meet to be worried about being happy. True False

If you have answered True to any of the above statements, you are in the same boat as most other people. And you will probably want a copy of my “Five Tools to Moving Towards Happiness.”

Thank you for taking the time to read my article and I look forward to hearing from you. And remember, “As the negative goes, the positive flows.” Elizabeth J. Macarthur

Related Articles
  Pursuit of Happiness
  Happiness Is A Decision
  Marketing Happiness
  Moments of Professional Happiness
  Pursuit of Leadership Happiness

Article Tags: authentic happiness, blissful, happiness, joy, real, true happiness



Related Forum Posts
Re: The secret to happiness - Happiness comes from within. We choose whether we want to be happy or not. Circumstances can influence our feelings, but in the end, it's up to us how we deal with our circumstances, positively or negatively. I admire anyone who can stay strong and be happy through adversity. There will always be challenges that we face, but I believe that if we face them with our heads held high, the odds of overcoming them are much greater. This reminds me of the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness." Happiness spelled wrong for a reason. One of Will Smith's greatest movies. I encourage you all to watch it as it's very inspiring.
Re: The secret to happiness - Happiness is working on the job you love. I forgot who said this, "give a man the job he loves doing and he will ever work again in his life"
Re: The secret to happiness - [quote="barrysarner":2awy1urv]I agree and happiness is different for every individual.[/quote:2awy1urv] Happiness is something that comes from within each person it not something that we can find externally. Something from outside such as an exciting event or a new car can make us happy, but this is a fleeting emotion. True happiness is within each person if we choose to it over misery. MichelleJ
What is one of your favorite sales and marketing book? - One of my favorite sales and marketing book is called Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh. It tells a story of how a guy quit a high paying corporate job after graduating from Harvard in order to pursue a business dream, while working with a group of friends. They eventually built a business that is now worth over a billion dollars called Zappos.com. The entire books concept was on how to market a successful business. I enjoyed reading the book and learned a lot from it. What is one of your favorite marketing books?
Re: The secret to happiness - Hi members, This is a very interesting post and one of the best I have read. Human nature is strange and in many ways a misunderstood thing. A lot of people need help to be happy or content, I suppose that is why we have psychiatrists. I certainly agree with others that happiness is a state of mind, you can’t buy it in the shops but maybe shopping itself makes you happy. Some people are very affluent but are miserable, others may have low paid jobs but a stable and happy home life and would say that they have found happiness so it is definitely a state of mind, if you want to be miserable then you will be. Happiness is different for everybody, you could argue that money buys you happiness and for some yes it does, but for everybody, I don’t think so. There is an old saying which is something like ‘if you love what you do then you will never work a day in your life’ and for many of us here I suppose that would be working from home full time with a successful Internet business. My philosophy is that no matter where you live, what you do or how much you make, if you have your health, family and or friends around to support you in the ups as well as the downs then you are already well off and anything else you achieve is a bonus so you may as well be positive and approach all life’s challenges in that way. regards, Mal.


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