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The Power of Forgiveness

Written by: Elizabeth J. Macarthur

Article Overview: So what do you really thing about forgiveness? Do you think it is overrated or a necessity for a happy life. Have you ever thought about what you definition or beliefs are around forgiveness and whether or not these have been supporting you or keeping you stuck. Read on and discover how Elizabeth was able to shift her beliefs and ideas around forgiveness from a negative place to a postive place that supports her in continuing to move her forward on her own personal journey.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a word and/or concept that I know has been greatly misunderstood and misinterpreted. It has been used and abused, feared and hated, resented and manipulated. Most of this is due to a misunderstanding of its purpose and meaning. I would like to share with you my understanding of forgiveness and the power that I know it has. Forgiveness is a word that I once thought was for everyone else, not me. I had no use for it, had no intention of participating in it, and was not interested in knowing anything about it. This was a time in my life where I was full of anger, resentment, hurt, bitterness, etc., and was planning on holding on to it, so there was no room for forgiveness in my world.

That all changed when I attended my very first weekend workshop in personal development. They were doing a section on forgiveness. As the facilitator was talking about the power of forgiveness and its advantages, I was sitting in my seat in total resistance, arms crossed and everything. In fact, I was so convinced that my decision to not forgive anyone for the hurt they had bestowed on me was right, that on the next break I challenged the facilitator on his idea of forgiveness.

I actually said to him something along the lines of, "If you knew what really happened to me, you would understand why forgiveness is out of the question. They don't deserve it." For a brief moment I felt totally justified and vindicated for my feelings and reasons for not forgiving.

And then he just looked at me, and very quietly and calmly replied, "But what is this costing you? What has holding on to all of that anger and resentment cost you in your lifetime?" I was not expecting this. I was stumped and had no reply.

Then I started thinking about all the things that had not happened for me in my life. I started to realize that where I thought I would be at age 33 was definitely not where I was, or anywhere close. Could it be that my holding on to all this anger, resentment, etc. could be responsible for this? Now he had my attention.

The definition of forgiveness that I had in my head of what I thought forgiveness was all about just wouldn't allow me to participate in forgiveness. I believed that if I forgave them that was the same as saying that what they did to me was okay. And not only that, but I also believed that if I forgave them, it also meant that they could continue to hurt me, that I would have to let them back into my life, and I would have to open myself up to being hurt again.

So based on that definition you can understand why my resistance was so high with this thing called forgiveness. But all that was challenged that faithful day at that workshop...based on one simple question. That was the crack in the door that was needed for me to re-examine this thing called forgiveness.

One of the first new things that I learned about forgiveness was that I had my definitions all wrong. To forgive someone does not mean to say what they did was okay or acceptable. To forgive someone does not mean that you have to let them back into your life. To forgive someone does not mean that you give them permission to hurt you again. I had it all mixed up.

What I learned about forgiveness is the following:

„« We do forgiveness as a way of releasing our own negative energy or hurt;

„« We do forgiveness as a way of healing ourselves;

„« We do forgiveness as a way of releasing and moving on from the incident;

„« We do forgiveness as a way of letting go of the past;

„« We do forgiveness as a way of flattening out the energy of pain, the negative energy, so it no longer has a hold on us;

Are you picking up on the theme here? The bottom line is that we d0 the forgiveness for ourselves. It has nothing to do with the other person. In fact, the other person does not even have to be present or even be aware of the fact that we are forgiving them. If we do choose to communicate to that person that we do forgive them, remember that whether they choose to accept the forgiveness is also irrelevant. Forgiveness is done for my own personal healing purposes, my own personal emotional and physical wellness, and my own personal happiness.

When I was able to wrap my head around this new definition of forgiveness and shift my beliefs of how it really worked, I started to open up to the possibility of forgiving those who had hurt me. Now I will be honest and say that this was not something that happened overnight, it took time as I started to become comfortable with the idea.

My ego, thought, immediately started to get in the way by telling me things like:

o They don't deserve to forgiven;

o What they did to you was unspeakable;

o If you forgive them, they will hurt you again;

o Don't let you guard down;

o You won't know what to do without this anger and resentment to fuel you;

o You life will be different if you don't have this negativity with you;

o What will you ever do without the negativity;

o It will be scary;

o Better the devil you know than the one you don't;

o They're lying to you!

And on and on the ego would go. So how many of these can you connect with. Maybe you have some of your own that you are thinking of right now as well?

The toughest part is that this anger and resentment has been a part of us for so long that we are use to it, comfortable with it, and will resist letting it go. The great news though is that once we start to release this negativity, it makes much more room for the positiveness and the happiness to show up.

I have a friend that I met a couple of years before I started to do my own personal work so she knew me when I was very angry. She recently told me that one of the biggest differences she has noticed in me over the years has been in my eyes. When she first met me she noticed that my eyes were very dark, almost totally black. Now she comments that my eyes are bright and have a twinkle in them. It's truly amazing how our body reflects outwardly all that negativity that we turn inwardly.

Along with my eyes changing, my whole body language has softened, my voice has quieted down a lot, and my outlook and attitude is far more positive and happy with the releasing of the forgiveness. I wish I could show you a before and after video clip of myself because I know that it would inspire you to immediately start working on your forgiveness issues once you witnessed the difference in me.

Jesus, whom I consider to be one of the most powerful Ascended Masters of all times, stated in his most famous book, The Bible, something along the lines that we need to forgive someone 70 times 7 times to totally, spiritually release the negative energy. That's 490 times of forgiving one person.

The spiritual side of forgiving others has been incredible for me as well. It has allowed me to open my heart back up to others, to show and receive more love, to want to be a better person, and to operate from a place of love rather than resentment. I truly enjoy this side of the fence so much better and I truly hope that you will join me here.

As we come to the end of yet another year, I encourage you to start the New Year with a clean slate and forgive all those that you can before the end of the year. You can do this by writing letters to them [sending the letters are optional] or verbally forgiving them out loud [again, having them present is optional]. Do this over and over again until you feel that it has been totally released. Trust you gut on this one.

I know that this is a tall order and a lot to ask, but I invite you to give it some careful consideration. The benefits will astound you. And for those of you who are already participating in forgiveness, search you heart to see if there is anyone else who needs to be forgiven, maybe even someone recent.

And congratulations to all for participating in forgiveness!

With love and gratitude,

Elizabeth

Related Articles
  Success Through Forgiveness
  Forgive Yourself and Others
  Forgiveness is a Spiritual Necessity
  Why to forgive yourself and others?
  Tha Approval Trap Solution

Article Tags: forgiveness, forgiving others, forgiving ourself, happy life, letting go, personal journey, power of forgiveness



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