Tweet

5 things NOT to say to yourself for successful persuasive speaking

Written by: Anne Freedman

Article Overview: Do you sometimes get in your own way when you deliver a presentation or speech? Are you your own 'worst' enemy? When negative self-talk takes over -- especially as we begin a serious effort to convince a co-worker, boss or potential client about the value of our idea, product or service -- the result can be a disaster. In this article, you'll learn how to dodge the five common ways our mind can trip us up with negative self-talk, so you can reach the outcome you're seeking.

5 things NOT to say to yourself for successful persuasive speaking



Five things NOT to say to yourself

before delivering an important persuasive presentation or speech - in person or online

By Anne B. Freedman, President, Speak Out, Inc. To get the outcome and recognition you seek - whether you're speaking one-on-one, to a group, via telephone or participating in an online meeting -- avoid the following negative self-talk that can interfere with your success:

1. If I had more time I know I'd have done a much better job.

Instead, recognize that you have used your time as wisely as you could; now, as the clock continues to tick, focus on what you CAN do to be convincing, not what is no longer possible.

2. I look (fat, old, tired, like a lose/am having a bad hair day, my butt/stomach is too big, what was I thinking (?!) about the outfit/tie/scarf/shoes/when I said I'd do it) today.

These self-destructive, nasty thoughts sometimes emerge when we feel pressured and lose our confidence in ourselves. To give yourself that necessary boost before a presentation or key conversation, remind yourself of what is GOOD about your appearance and personality. For instance, "My smile and humor always gets them to relax." "My suit is fresh from the cleaners and everything is polished." "My manicure is perfect." As the old adage goes, "be a praise-finder, not a fault-finder," especially for yourself!

3. My proposal isn't really that good but I don't have a better idea.

While I am not especially athletic, my understanding from talking to friends and clients who are is that winning players do not second-guess themselves on the playing field. You have a finite amount of minutes in a football game to score, or innings in baseball. It's the same in the communication arena. Once you have committed to a strategy that you are presenting - especially if you've also put it on paper - keep your eye on the ball and forge ahead. Self-doubt may be normal at times, but lock it out when you're trying to persuade someone else to follow your plan.

4. "They" are going to think I don't have my act together.

A variation of #1 and #3 above, this negative thought can undermine your hard work to prepare, and showcase your expertise and experience. Remember, it is rare that anyone is asked to give a presentation or to speak at a meeting just because they happen to be there. "They" truly want to hear your words because you know more about your topic than anyone else; your job is to persuade others to follow your recommendation or path.

5. I am going to forget everything and my voice will crack. I am going to be a flop.

Again, preparation is the key. Because you have carefully thought through your presentation, written down the key "bullet points" and rehearsed your message thoroughly, you WILL have the ability to do an outstanding job from start to finish. I recommend that you rehearse out of order to get the most natural-sounding delivery. For example, try out the closing segment first, then a middle point, the opening, and so forth. You'll more quickly identify and be able to fix potential problem areas, such as difficult-to-say passages. At the same time, you'll find it easier to appear natural and comfortable with all of the components.

To sum up, whenever you open up your mouth to speak, try your best to shut out any negative self-talk that can trip you up. In today's economy, and with ever increasing competition, it's hard enough to be convincing and reach your goals without getting in your own way!

Related Articles
  Four of the Most Common Mistakes in Persuasive Speaking
  Powerful, Persuasive and Motivating Language
  Book Review: The Yes Factor - Secrets of Persuasive Communication
  Improve Your Public Speaking


Article Tags: appearance, bad hair day, butt, communication arena, em 3, fault finder, football game, freedman, innings in baseball, manicure, nasty thoughts, old adage, online meeting, personality, persuasive presentation, proposal, scarf, self doubt, smile, stomach



Related Forum Posts
Re: Fail Forward Fast, Tom Peters - Could be speaking about me as well. I always tend to procrastinate on any task that I am unsure of and will find all sorts of other things that suddenly need to be done. MichelleJ
Re: What exactly do you need to start a business - Starting a business takes many things. Like guts and brains. But what I find pays off the most in online busines is HARD WORK. There is no better alternative. The more energy you use to make your business successful, the better your chances of it being successful
Generalist vs. Expert - Hi Kevin - great topic! I think to start a business you need to have enough of the general skills to get going. You end up having to do so many things that you need to wear many hats in your business. Even if you have partners there will always be more tasks to get done than time and people available. That being said, you need to have a vision, lead your company forward and be an expert in your field. If you're not one of the best at what you do then it will be hard to stand out and build a successful company. I think the most successful entrepreneurs are experts in a particular field but also have enough skills to be generalists when need be.
Re: Public Speaking and Presentations - Hi Annette, Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your passion. I suppose if you include teaching and lecturing, as well as weddings and a funeral, and some acting, I've built up quite a lot of experience of public speaking. I also teach "English Presentation" to several classes at a women's college here in Hiroshima. That can be quite a challenge due to the language level and for the most part the complete inexperience of public speaking on the part of my students. Great fun to teach, though. I seek to encourage them and to build up their confidence, and also give them feedback about posture, fidgeting (hands in hair seems to be a favourite distraction), sniffing loudly while reading/speaking and so on... Giving that kind of feedback without embarrassing people can be quite a delicate task so I wonder if you have any "easy to understand tips" about helping with confidence and posture etc. Best wishes, David H
Re: Review My: e-product sales letter - Hi Evan, It looks great! I'd but it beneath the first Paypal button and let the PS do the work beneath the bottom Paypal button. A couple of points on the wording: 1. The headline "This-better-work..." seems to start out as if the customer is speaking and end up as if you are speaking. Do you see what I mean? 2. Replace "it" with "them" (ebook and bonuses). Cheers! David H


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Executives and Elevators Perfecting That Pitch

Why Small Businesses Don't Survive

Ten Twitter Tips For Work-at-Home Moms

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.