5 things NOT to say to yourself for successful persuasive speaking

To get the outcome and recognition you seek - whether you're speaking one-on-one, to a group, via telephone or participating in an online meeting -- avoid the following negative self-talk that can interfere with your success:

1. If I had more time I know I'd have done a much better job.
Instead, recognize that you have used your time as wisely as you could; now, as the clock continues to tick, focus on what you CAN do to be convincing, not what is no longer possible.

2. I look (fat, old, tired, like a lose/am having a bad hair day, my butt/stomach is too big, what was I thinking (?!) about the outfit/tie/scarf/shoes/when I said I'd do it) today.
These self-destructive, nasty thoughts sometimes emerge when we feel pressured and lose our confidence in ourselves. To give yourself that necessary boost before a presentation or key conversation, remind yourself of what is GOOD about your appearance and personality. For instance, "My smile and humor always gets them to relax." "My suit is fresh from the cleaners and everything is polished." "My manicure is perfect." As the old adage goes, "be a praise-finder, not a fault-finder," especially for yourself!

3. My proposal isn't really that good but I don't have a better idea.
While I am not especially athletic, my understanding from talking to friends and clients who are is that winning players do not second-guess themselves on the playing field. You have a finite amount of minutes in a football game to score, or innings in baseball. It's the same in the communication arena. Once you have committed to a strategy that you are presenting - especially if you've also put it on paper - keep your eye on the ball and forge ahead. Self-doubt may be normal at times, but lock it out when you're trying to persuade someone else to follow your plan.

 4. "They" are going to think I don't have my act together.
A variation of #1 and #3 above, this negative thought can undermine your hard work to prepare, and showcase your expertise and experience. Remember, it is rare that anyone is asked to give a presentation or to speak at a meeting just because they happen to be there. "They" truly want to hear your words because you know more about your topic than anyone else; your job is to persuade others to follow your recommendation or path.

5. I am going to forget everything and my voice will crack. I am going to be a flop.

Again, preparation is the key. Because you have carefully thought through your presentation, written down the key "bullet points" and rehearsed your message thoroughly, you WILL have the ability to do an outstanding job from start to finish. I recommend that you rehearse out of order to get the most natural-sounding delivery. For example, try out the closing segment first, then a middle point, the opening, and so forth. You'll more quickly identify and be able to fix potential problem areas, such as difficult-to-say passages. At the same time, you'll find it easier to appear natural and comfortable with all of the components.

To sum up, whenever you open up your mouth to speak, try your best to shut out any negative self-talk that can trip you up. In today's economy, and with ever increasing competition, it's hard enough to be convincing and reach your goals without getting in your own way!