Tweet

CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS

Written by: Shona Partridge

Article Overview: As you're probably only too aware, our confidence and self esteem are very variable - more of a wavy line than a straight line. Some days we feel we could conquer the world and other days we just want to hide under the duvet! We can miss opportunities because we allow fear and self doubt to get in the way. We undermine our confidence by taking things too personally and by trying to second guess what others think of us. I love the phrase: "What you think of me is none of my business!" And Eleanor Roosevelt famously said: "No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS

As you're probably only too aware, our confidence and self esteem are very variable - more of a wavy line than a straight line. Some days we feel we could conquer the world and other days we just want to hide under the duvet!

We can miss opportunities because we allow fear and self doubt to get in the way. We undermine our confidence by taking things too personally and by trying to second guess what others think of us. I love the phrase: "What you think of me is none of my business!" And Eleanor Roosevelt famously said: "No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

Why should someone else's opinion of you matter to you more than your own opinion of yourself? I'd like you to really think about this. Remember - people take us at our own face value. Other people will treat us the way that we expect and allow ourselves to be treated. True confidence stems from within and relies on high self esteem. When it comes to confidence, the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.

LIMITING BELIEFS

Many of us have some limiting beliefs which undermine our confidence, but once we notice them and challenge them, we can decide that it's time to let them go. Try the following exercise:

* Make a list of your limiting beliefs - for instance any statements that begin with words like: "I could never ........", or "I'm too old, too young, not clever enough, not rich enough, not good enough..." etc.

* Now look at the list again and reframe these ideas. For each item listed, ask yourself if it's really true. What else could be true instead? What, specifically, do you want to be true instead? How can you start to make that happen?

Most of us underestimate the power of our own thoughts. Many of us have inner "self talk" that is extremely critical of ourselves. Think about it - would you talk to a good friend the way you sometimes talk to, and about yourself? Are you a kind, supportive, nurturing friend to yourself or are you sometimes your own worst enemy?

AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmations can be a really great tool in strengthening self belief because our brains can really only hold one thought at a time properly. Affirmations are a great way to defuse our negative self talk. So, what are the rules for powerful affirmations? Well, first of all they need to be stated in the first person: "I". Secondly, they need to be stated in the present tense, "I am" or "I have" as if they were already accomplished, not set at some point in the future .

A very good source of powerful affirmations is Louise Hay's work. She's the best- selling author of "You Can Heal Your Life" and "The Power is Within You."

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR TALENTS AND GIFTS

Here's another confidence boosting exercise for you to try:

List 100 of your personal and professional achievements. This is no time to be shy - acknowledge your own talents and gifts. Don't underestimate anything. If you passed your driving test first time, put that down. List successful interviews, promotions and prizes. Record instances where you got out of your comfort zones. Perhaps it was travelling alone, hosting your first dinner party, stopping smoking, learning a language, learning to salsa dance, making a speech, influencing others.....put everything down.

Add new things as they happen in your life. Make it a habit to capture your successes in an achievements log. Reading this list from time to time will be a great confidence booster.

THE TRAP OF PERFECTIONISM

Being a perfectionist can be a way to avoid taking risks and getting out of your comfort zones. But staying safe can take a huge toll on the quality of your life and in the long run does nothing for your confidence.

Remember, it's OK to make mistakes. Some of our most important learning comes through making mistakes. Indeed, it could be argued that if we never make any mistakes we are not developing or growing. And remember to reward yourself for effort, not just for results. Give yourself a pat on the back. Don't wait for validation from "out there". Do it for yourself.

TAKE ACTION!

One of the most effective things you can do to boost your confidence is to take action! "Analysis paralysis" can be zapped by simply blasting through it and doing something to get off dead centre. It can be a small thing like doing one of the action steps on your to do list, or it can be a big thing, like applying for a new job. Taking action gives you a feeling of control. When you feel in control of your situation, you are inspired to do more as a result so you feel stronger and much more capable and confident. Being decisive, taking action and moving forward with your life is the most effective way to build your confidence.

Confidence Boosters

* When your confidence wobbles, "act as if." Tell yourself you feel confident; change your posture to a confident stance; use your vocal power to convey confidence and authority. If you look the part, sound the part and act the part, before you know it the confidence will follow.

* Set up your day in advance and visualise everything going well.

* Accentuate the positive. Concentrate on what's going well.

* Remember a time when you felt full of confidence and self belief. Really feel how you felt then - visualise the whole situation in vivid Technicolor. Reconnect with how powerful you felt. Find an "anchor" so that you can access that feeling when you need it.

* Take the first step towards an important goal. Action inspires confidence!

* Minimise the time you spend worrying about things that may never happen!

* Listen to your "raving fans."

* Trust your intuition.

* Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself - avoid negative or highly critical people wherever possible.

* Get the information or training you need to feel confident in new situations.

* Do your planning and preparation thoroughly. This way you'll always know you've done your best.

© Shona Partridge 2008

Related Articles
  Ten Simple ways to bring balance into your workday
  Are You Confident Or Cocky?
  The Role of Self-Confidence in Success
  Sanity Saver - Systems Work
  Create Your Success by Faking it Till You Make It

Article Tags: confidence, duvet, eleanor roosevelt, exercise, face value, fear, good friend, none of my business, own worst enemy, phrase, relationship, self doubt, self esteem, straight line, wavy line



Related Forum Posts


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

The Death of the Sales Magazine

Coaching Tip: Identify Your Core Values

Leading with Discernment

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.