Everyone wants to be successful but few people take the time and effort to define success on their own terms. We are bombarded by messages about what success looks like: owning the right car, living in a certain neighborhood with a certain size house, closing the big deal, becoming well-known, or growing your company to a certain size. While these are certainly fine goals, they offer only a restrictive view of success. To complicate the issue, many of us also get the message that our level of success means something fundamental about who we are – about our worth and value as human beings. Rationally we know that this is ridiculous; however, so many of us operate as if it’s true and as a result, we try harder and harder to prove we are successful according to these superficial standards.
Shining a light on the baggage that surrounds “success” is an important step in letting it go so that you can clearly and powerfully define the measures that work best for you. Although you may decide that some of the indicators of success will be similar to those listed above, this way they will be a result of consciously choosing rather than merely inheriting them from a culture that highly values external trappings.
So, how to go about defining success on your terms? It’s an inside-out, values-driven process with two essential steps:
Step One
Start by identifying your top 10 personal values. Make a list, guided by your heart, of the things in life that matter the most to you. [See samples.] It doesn’t have to be rational. No one else has to see it. In fact, your vote is the only one that counts. Just remember to let your heart guide you.
Sample Values
Relationships
Family
Skiing
Learning
Spirituality
Faith
Humor
Laughter
Movies
Health
Fun
Security
Love
God
Teaching
Giving
Creativity
Art
Metaphysics
Nature
The Ocean
Freedom
Dignity
Aliveness
Silliness
Financial Wellness
Step Two
You can then use your personal values to create “Success Statements” based on who you really are and what is most important to you. These statements will be in this form: “I know I am being successful when….” In step one we asked you to choose your top 10 values, we now ask you to create 10 individualized success statements. Try to keep your responses simple and concrete. You may need to revise each statement so that it fully resonates with you. Use as few words as possible and try to avoid using compound concepts or lots of “ands”. Here are a couple of examples:
Regarding a value of “Health” – “I know I am being successful when I listen to my body and give it what it truly needs.”
Regarding a value of “Respect” – “I know I am being successful when I treat everyone I encounter with respect.”
We encourage you to take the time to identify the values that are unique to you, with your individual interpretation on them. Then, follow-up by writing Success Statements. Doing so will not only give you a document that you can return to again and again, but also a sense of personal freedom and power in claiming true success for yourself!
Success from The Inside Out - To learn more about this author, visit Debby Stone's Website.
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