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Emotional Maturity
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| Guest post by: Vanessa J. Bonnette |
Article Overview: What I find with many people is that they are living unconsciously - automatically reacting to incidences rather than responding to them. Do you find yourself saying that you feel helpless and are often controlled by your emotions? Relax, you’re not alone!
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Free Download - Establishing Family Boundaries By Vanessa J. Bonnette |
Emotional Maturity
It's easy to lose yourself in a rush of feelings. For instance, you're busy and mother calls to tell you all about her problems. Suddenly you end up feeling guilty for not helping her. The next day a colleague verbally insults you at work and you feel angry about their rudeness; and at yourself for not setting boundaries.
Both of these scenarios show examples of how other people’s actions can affect our emotions...if we allow it! Do you respond or react to such actions?
All emotions are a form of expression and release, so it might feel good to be angry and to let off steam via an insult, argument or heated discussion. These so-called ‘negative feelings’ are normal and part of our every-day experience - so where’s the problem?
The problem is that negative emotions block you from being your best and attracting what you really need!
If you are continually stressed, habitually negative and vocally expressing these types of feelings then what you are emanating is the vibration of lack - or a sense of loss - and that's exactly why you’re not receiving something good or positive in your life.
You've got to consciously choose a positive response...
Here’s how it works: An incident happens to you which immediately triggers a negative reaction. Right then you have to choose to re-new your thoughts about the incident which in turn creates new feelings.
Living consciously is being self-aware in the moment. Here's an example. Let’s say you recently saw a person at a party whom you reacted negatively to. You then shared your ‘negative’ experience with friends, telling them all about the incident and how you felt, thus re-living the negative thoughts and feelings. Each time you ‘re-live’ that incident, your soul records those same thoughts and feelings.
By choosing to positively re-write the scenario, you’re renewing your soul and building up positive energies.
You can re-new the scenario by writing and saying something like this: "I no longer feel negative when I encounter ______________________ (put person’s name in). Even though we've had our difficulties in the past, I have faith that everything has worked out for the best. I appreciate my life and I am content. Negative feelings will not fulfill my highest purpose; so I am determined to create joy today."
At times it can be hard to re-new our soul. When the same scenario is played often it becomes so well known that it feels comfortable - like a well worn pair of shoes. New shoes take time to break-in – we have to wear them a few times before they feel comfortable! Same goes with living your new story.
Here are my three keys to building emotional maturity:
1. Monitor your thoughts. Next time your mind is in chaos question the thoughts you are having and try to identify the trigger or source causing that reaction.
2. Master your emotions. Write down exactly how you are feeling the moment the reaction occurs. Then shift your thoughts to focus on a positive emotion to change your perspective. Once you sense the shift is a positive feeling...relax, breathe and store that memory.
3. Re-new negative scenarios. Take time to observe yourself telling stories about any incidents that have occurred to you in the past - especially ones that affect you negatively. Re-write these incidents so that they empower you. Each time you do this, you are training yourself to master your emotions.
It is necessary for your health and wellbeing to release your negativity. But make sure you find a way of doing it without harming yourself or other people. You can choose to be brilliant and shine starting today!
Article Tags: colleague, expression, heated discussion, insult, insults, negative emotions, negative experience, negative feelings, negative thoughts, new feelings, rudeness, rush, scenarios, sense of loss, setting boundaries, steam, thoughts and feelings, types of feelings, vibration
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About the Author: Vanessa J. Bonnette RSS for Vanessa's articles - Visit Vanessa's website Vanessa J. Bonnette is the founder of Empowered For Life, Shekinah Therapy and New Era Women. She has published two books - Empowered for the New Era (first & second edition) and works internationally as a Life Coach, Counsellor and Therapist. Vanessa is the author and facilitator of several personal advancement and spiritual development workshops. A popular public speaker and captivating presenter, Vanessa never fails to bring a wealth of knowledge, wisdom, warmth and humour to her audience. For further details please visit www.new.net.au Follow Me on Twitter - http://twitter.com/newerawomen Click here to visit Vanessa's website Effective Leadership Business Success 7 Secrets to Cocreative Success Affirm Your Financial Destiny for 2009 Gain Maximum Search Engine Marketing and Search Engine Optimisation SEMSEO exposure for your Business Harness the Power of Free Marketing |
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