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Is Goal-setting bringing you down?

Written by: Vanessa J. Bonnette

Article Overview: Do you have a habit of continually setting goals and not reaching them or feel that whenever you set goals you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, frustration and guilt? The problem could be that on a deeper level you do not take the whole goal-setting thing seriously and tend to set goals without first visualising a clear picture.

Is Goal-setting bringing you down?

Do you have a habit of continually setting goals and not reaching them or feel that whenever you set goals you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, frustration and guilt? The problem could be that on a deeper level you do not take the whole goal-setting thing seriously and tend to set goals without first visualising a clear picture.

If you dread the words ‘goal-setting’ and ‘strong commitment’ then just change these words into something you do like such as ‘positive action plan’ – words which evoke good feelings for you. In reality, any visualised plans will come to nothing unless they are coupled with strong feelings and committed action. I identify this trio as motivation (thought + emotion + will) – the invisible forces that push us to act.

For any plan to work, it’s important to first have a clear vision and then be motivated and inspired to pursue it. Setting goals is largely a psychological exercise and for that reason it’s essential to have a strong mental and emotional investment in what it is you want to achieve. Your ‘new thoughts and strong feelings’ need to be strong enough to change your current situation - for example you may have a desire to ‘make more money’ or ‘find a fulfilling relationship’ – but you have to be willing to leave your current comfort zone to pursue those goals.

Once you are clear about your goal, and why you want to achieve it, I recommend you absorb it mentally and emotionally for 3 days. Then take some time to observe (honestly) how you’re really feeling about your chosen goal / plan and clarify it by asking some questions –
• How will I really feel when I reach my goal?
• Why did I not achieve my goals in the past?
• Will I inspire and encourage others to make positive changes?
• Is my self-worth and self-esteem elevated by achieving this goal?
• How will my friends and family be affected by my positive changes?
• What other opportunities do I create by reaching this goal?
• If I don’t choose to change my situation now, what will my life be like in 2 or 5 years time?
Try to identify the emotions you feel when you answer these questions. Make a list and look for patterns – i.e. I feel ‘good’ when I___________________....or I feel ‘bad’ when I ____________________________ (fill in the blanks).


There is a vast a range of free tools available via the internet that can assist you to set and achieve goals. You’ll need to define the steps and measure your progress along the way – and make sure you include your feelings! Emotional motivation is often the absent aspect of goal setting and can be the differential between success and failure. I wish you goal-setting success!

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Article Tags: clear vision, comfort zone, current situation, disappointment, dread, emotion, emotional investment, frustration, fulfilling relationship, goal plan, good feelings, guilt, habit, invisible forces, new thoughts, positive changes, psychological exercise, self esteem, setting goals, strong commitment



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