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Complaining is not Problem Solving

Guest post by: Cheryl Matthynssens

Article Overview: This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Complaining is not Problem Solving

I bet if you sat down and really thought about it. You could make a long list of the things over the last 30 days that you have complained about. It might be something as simple as the weather and the traffic all the way to the complicated such as the economy.

Some things that we complain about, we have no control over. The weather is beyond our ability to change. The most we can do to solve that problem is to move somewhere with different weather. But even the best place in the world has bad weather days. That is right, even Florida and Hawaii have their miserable days.

Some things we complain about, we have a small amount of control over. We, ourselves, have no control over traffic. We do have control over routes, times we travel and even how we travel. Examples of problem solving rough traffic would be leaving earlier, taking a different route or riding the public transportation so we can read that novel we have had no time to complete.

However, many things we whine and complain about we have complete control over. We complain about our incomes while we instead could be studying for promotion or applying for a better job. We complain about our spouses but make no attempts to take the first step to repair the relationship. If all we do is complain, we are not in solution, we are part of the problem. Negativity, especially in the workplace, spreads. I can complain about something small in the break room and soon everyone is listing all the reasons the company is horrible. If you are not doing ANYTHING to solve the problem - you have no RIGHT to complain.

My favorite Poem about this topic goes like this:

This is a little story about four people named Everybody,

Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody

was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's

job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody

realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody

did what Anybody could have done

Author: Unknown

Will you be an Anybody? Or will you be Everybody and get the same results Everybody has always gotten?

The reason it is so easy to complain rather then solve problems is that we have become a society of addicts and self-indulgent behaviors. That may sound harsh but look at the list of addictions facing our society today. (these are not in any particularity order)

* Fast and Easy: Most of us have never known true lack in our life. Since our country recovered from the last World War and the Great Depression, here in the USA we have been on the upswing until recently. We have learned to expect everything at our fingertips. Most people in the cities would have no idea how to survive if their electronics ceased to function for them and the grocery store could no longer provide for them. Our news, our money, even our food can be delivered to us with ease and no effort on our parts. This is very evident in many employees under the age of 30. Employers are finding they are quick to jump to the next employer that might offer them more. They quit when they feel they are made to work TOO hard. They quit when "their" needs are not met. It is like the employment is their right and the employer is there to provide them with something rather then the other way around. Much of the complaining in a work place environment is connected to this mentality. "My employer does not give me time to study this material and ACTUALLY expects me to learn what I need for promotion on MY time."

*Internet - This has become an addiction for many. Whether it be online games, just surfing or chat rooms - it has a severe impact. A definition of an addiction is anything done to excess that causes harm in your life. This addiction has destroyed marriages, has led to isolation from face to face relationships and has even been connected to neglect and death of children.

*Food - An addiction that is epidemic in the USA and many other countries. Like a drug addict, food has become a solace to true needs. It is used to nullify emotions, deal with stress and cover other problems. Add to this the combined problem of the changes in our food supply due to the fast and easy addiction and we meet this need with foods that are harmful, add fat and no true nutrition. This only increases the need as sugar and harmful carbs are actually craved.

*Alcohol - I have separated this from other drug addictions but let me make it clear there is no difference between the Heroin Addict under the bridge and the socialite who can not go the evening without her daily cocktails. I separated it because so many in society will say well yes I drink, but at least I am not using drugs. If jobs are lost, relationships damaged, children neglected due to alcohol use, then alcohol IS the problem. Alcohol is legal, this is true. It is still a drug. So is Oxycontin if you have a prescription, but if abused it is still an addiction. Alcohol makes it easy to scream out your woes and totally blocks most people from any true solution. Oh, they may come up with a solution and even act on it; but often it is not well thought out.

*Drugs - Many people in our society have learned to turn to pills for easy solutions. Every pain, sad thought and frantic moment is often medicated these days. Only a physician can say if this is really necessary. Unfortunately, many people have began to self medicate. They take other people's prescriptions. When that fails, they are forced to seek out street dealers. Methamphetamine is becoming a rampant problem. It started on the west coast and is spreading east. Unlike many addictive substances, one use can lead to a full blown addiction. Families destroyed, jobs lost, possessions sold till at last the addict is forced to a life of crime to meet the overpowering need. Unlike many drugs, due to how it is manufactured and what it is made up of, it's effects on the body are horrendous. It eats the teeth from the inside out. So the addict may not see the harm for sometime. It eats away at the body, sucking up the individual to a thin skeleton who ages with each passing week. It leads to often permanent mental health conditions due to damage to the brain from the drug itself and from sleep deprivation and malnutrition.

There are many other addictions out there impacting societies beside the USA, we are not unique in that aspect. The drug of choice may vary. The latest gambling idea may be different as well. But addiction is an epidemic that impacts almost all families in some way. We must as individuals learn to solve our problems without the use of a crutch. When we have done that, we can teach our families to do the same. Then our families can reach out and show our society how to face life on life's terms. Learning to solve our problems despite whether they are emotional, physical, social or spiritual is the first step in true happiness and prosperity in life.

If you are complaining and yet doing nothing, then you have NO right to complain. Only when you have done everything you can on your part, have you earned the right to voice your displeasure. Even then, it should be voiced to those who can take the next step. So how do you problem solve.

1. Define the problem: What are all the aspects of the problem. Brainstorm all elements of it. Look at what contributes to it, what those contributions cause and what the end result is. Circle everything that you can impact or make a change to. Pick one or two that you can begin to work on today.

2. Set Goals: Turn what you have circled into goals. Work out everything you need to do to achieve the goals. It might be only one thing. It might take several steps. By breaking it into small parts, you can then begin to break it down. Get ideas from others. Show them what you are working on. Two, three or even more minds are better then one. If it is a company problem, give it to everyone to send in ideas.

3. ACT: It can not be stressed enough that without action, a goal is just a dream. Part of the addiction - Fast and Easy - leads to procrastination. We will put off today whatever we can in hopes someone else will fix it. Remember the poem in part one. You must choose to act and do so. You have destination - You have a map. Start the car and go.

4. Learn: As you move down the path to the goal, learn from what works and what does not. The light bulb was not invented in the first try, not even the 500th try so do not expect your first solution to necessarily solve the problem. If it does not, look it over. What did you do that was working. What did you do that was not. Go back to step two and start over. It might even require you to go back to step one. Maybe the problem was not what you thought as you began to work on it.

A body in motion stays in motion. It is a scientific fact. It is no different for our brain. Once we truly commit to solving a problem, (notice I said truly and not half heartedly) our brain even while we sleep will be attempting to solve it. Ever wake up with an idea? That is why.

Think about the title of this article. Are you a problem solver or a complainer. Problem solvers find solutions and then find success and happiness. Complainers find more problems to complain about. Misery loves company so do not let these termites of your organizations and companies bring you to their level. Solve problems and take action. Only then will life around you change in the manner that will bring you peace and comfort.

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Article Tags: Act, Addiction, Complaining, Define Problems, Learn, Life Crutches, Negativity, Problem Solving, Set Goals
Referred by: http://jaykubassek.com



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