Tweet

Why Men Disappear For No “Apparent” Reason

Guest post by: Kara Oh

Article Overview: I got yet another another woman writing to ask what happened to the man she was involved with. They’d been seeing each other for five months. “He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me.” Over the last month he’d stopped calling and this week he stopped responding to her text messages. She was desperate to know why he disappeared. It’s amazing how often this kind of thing happens… where the man is completely into a woman, then wham, for no “apparent” reason, he starts to back off.

Why Men Disappear For No “Apparent” Reason

I got yet another another woman writing to ask what happened to the man she was involved with. They'd been seeing each other for five months. "He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me."

Over the last month he'd stopped calling and this week he stopped responding to her text messages. She was desperate to know why he disappeared.

It's amazing how often this kind of thing happens... where the man is completely into a woman, then wham, for no "apparent" reason, he starts to back off.

Being women, we like to know the "why." We want to "talk about it", dissect it, understand it. Then we feel more satisfied and complete, which allows us to move on.

But men handle things differently. For one thing, they generally hate to "talk about it." They want to just move on. They tend to prefer to get into another relationship, which is how they move on. They don't always know why they've lost interest so that's one reason they don't want to discuss it. They don't like to admit that they don't have "all the answers." They also are uncomfortable delving into those "inner regions" of the heart. They don't like being vulnerable, especially with a woman they've decided they're no longer interested in.

They also don't want to hurt a woman because invariably, that means either tears or lots of emotions... both of which men are extremely uncomfortable with. So we end up making up reasons so we can feel better. Usually, because the man is not able or willing to have that final discussion, most women write him off as a jerk. That's often not the case but they have nothing more to go on. And in a certain way, because the man won't step up and offer his reasons, he is a jerk in that tiny part of the scenario.

Another reason men lose interest is because the "shiny newness" wears off, which it always does... unless you know how to stay "bright and shiny." That's one of the primary values of Feminine Grace, which I teach in Men Made Easy. When that happens, any "tarnish" will become glaring. That's when men tend to retreat and go find the next "bright, shiny object."

Most men do want to be in a long-term relationship, and after a certain age, they generally want to get married. Look around, most men get married at some point, often more than once. But you need to stay that "bright and shiny." The best way to do that is to be a happy, appreciative woman who makes him feel good about being a man. That's pretty much all it takes. Men are amazingly simple when you understand them and know what to do. When he enjoys being your man, he's not going to want to risk losing you because so few women know how to do this.

But it's your responsibility to be that "bright,and shiny." You can't become the whiny, nagging woman who puts her man down. When you fall in love with a man you think he's superman. And that's what makes him fall in love with you. He wants to be your superman. But when a woman starts snipping away at his gonads, he leaves. If he's not that invested (like only being involved for 5 months), he's most likely going to leave.

It's important that you never become the stereotypical nag of a woman because that's about as "ugly" as a woman can be. And texting for a month without him calling says she was being needy and clingy, another great big turn-off.

So take responsibility for your outcome by working on yourself. Being a "bright and shiny" takes constant polishing. You need to know that you are responsible for being happy, and you ARE worth the work of constant polishing. He doesn't make you happy... you do. But he likes to think that he's "doing his job" when he sees he's got a happy woman by his side.

When a man disappears, it's often because a woman stops doing all those great things in the beginning, those things that caused him to fall in love. If you've ever had a man leave with no explanation, think back and see if you changed, relaxed and got too comfortable with the assumption that you didn't have to do all the things you did din the beginning. Another thing that usually happens is when a couple gets comfortable with each other, the old habits start coming out and some of those are a definite turn-off.

No matter whether you're looking for Mr. Right, or dating someone now, it's important that you continually work on polishing yourself so you stay "bright and shiny". But do it for you, not some man. The outcome is that you will become the kind of woman a terrific man will fall in love with, and stay in love with because you learned how to stay his "bright, shiny" woman. There is nothing more important that you could be doing for yourself. To learn how to develop your Feminine Grace, grab your copy of Men Made Easy right now.

Related Articles
  Stress-Free Selling® - Easy Ways to Avoid Price Objections
  How are You Dealing with Apparent Sales Success Failures?
  When Sales Goals Change but Behavior and Results Don't
  Hostages, Revolutions and Critics
  All the Way in the Game
  There Is No Such Thing as a Duplicate Content Penalty
  Why The Internet Will Not Kill TV?
  Father's Day Advice from My Father
  Who the heck are YOU, anyway?
  DEALING WITH FAILURE
  THREE RING DISASTER
  Keeping the Edge in Your Home Based Business Opportunity
  If Content is King Then Why Does Your Online Business Website Have No Traffic?
  Dont Let Stress Run You Out Of Business
  GPT Sites - Best Get Paid Today Opportunity
  Are You Paying Attention To Your People?
  Seven Steps to Cold Calling Follow-up
  Creative Avoidance
  It’s Not A Mountain, It’s A Molehill
  Perceived Value Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Article Tags: affair repair book, dating advice, feminine grace, kara oh, marriage advice, men made easy book, relationship advice
Referred by: http://virtualassistantindustry.com/



Related Forum Posts
Re: 20 Reasons why you must be a reader - Hi there, It is quite amazing that ten days ago you wrote this post and still wait for responses. I am sure virtually nobody comes to this forum who does not read, so come on help 'ideasprosperity' and list the 20 reasons we benefit by reading books. Reason no 2: We can learn from the successful people what to do and what not to do. (There is so much information on this subject on Evancarmichael) Reason no 3: ............????
Re: Are you insane??? - I am not sure as to whether the author is insane or not but I am sure that its not gonna work. Reason is quite simple - If I set my watch 30 minutes earlier I am aware of it and when I am aware I can always tell myself - Its still 30 minutes to go!
list building - OK.... I think I get it. Reason I'm curious is that I'm working on a Health product site with a friend, it will fit nicely with the client base on arcamax. We're planning to set up an affiliate program to drive sales and looking for low cost alternatives to generate traffic. We will be creating several reports, and a book is already available. We just need to get the puzzle pieces in place for the site - then get the traffic.
Re: Email autoresponder messages: what delivery intervals? - Depending on the campaign, but I do either daily or I make sure every 7 days people receive emails from me. Reason for this is if you opt-in on Monday, you might be more likely to open email again on Mondays. Also, if there are sales taking place, it's good to send out on the 1st and the 15th. Friday is a payday for many so that works out well. I haven't tested what time to send, but two friends who send more emails than I know send 11AM CST and 4AM CST.
Retired Executives - Hello everyone. Does anyone know where I could be in contact with retired executive? Reason I ask is because I am in seek of a mentor to assist me with my business and I am having a hard time finding a mentor in Canada. It seems like executives in the US and Europe are lot more helpful than in Canada, as I have contacted a few individuals in Canada and they have either been rude or simply did not reply back to my e-mail. Does anyone know where I can find some retired executives, as I might have a better luck with them? Thanks!


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

LEARNING TO HAVE FUN – EVERYDAY!

Word of Mouth Marketing Tips Fuel Success

Local Marketing: 3 Simple Low-Cost Strategies

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.