Anger Solutions™ at Work: How to Cope with a Bully Boss
Anger Solutions™ at Work: How to Cope with a Bully Boss
Knowing your company’s policies is paramount to dealing with a bully boss. Make sure you document behaviours, dates, times, and witnesses, so that you have accurate information to report. Talk to your health and safety representative, union steward, or to the person who supervises your boss. Let’s face it, in a perfect world, the buck would stop there; however, the truth is that very often, complaints against bully bosses go unheard or unaddressed. It is also true, that others who privately say they will back you up, will often back out when the poop hits the fan, leaving you in the lurch without viable witnesses. Then, it is your word against the boss. (Again, this is why documentation is so valuable.)
Should you end up in a situation where you have tried all avenues and the boss is still allowed to continue with the offending behaviours, you may have to take matters into your own hands. Here are some suggestions that may prove helpful.
• Call the boss on his/her behaviour. If the bullying you are encountering comes across in the form of veiled threats, use negative inquiry. Example: “Are you saying that if I don’t improve on my performance that you are going to fire me?” By bringing the threat out into the open, the boss now has to own it, rather than hide behind it. Remember that manipulation only works as long as you don’t realize you’re being manipulated! Bring any such tactics out in the open, and don’t be surprised if the bully starts backpedaling big-time.
• Be clear about what behaviour is making you uncomfortable, and indicate what works for you. “When you talk to me that way in front of my co-workers, it makes me feel belittled and humiliated. I would really appreciate it if from now on you would share any criticisms in private.”
• Do your job to the best of your ability. If you are struggling, ask for help from the others on your team. If it comes down to the word of the boss against yours, your work will speak for itself. Better to have a solid performance record than a weak one.
• Start looking for another job. Unfortunately there are plenty of lousy bosses out there, but there are lots of great employers too. Before you get to the point at which you have lost every last shred of your self esteem, prime your resume, and get back in the job search saddle. No one says you have to put up with continued abuse from a workplace bully – especially if that bully has authority over you. Take control of your own destiny, and get out before it’s too late.
This article is excerpted from 4-page report “Coping with Workplace Violence”. To receive your FREE copy of this report, email Julie at info@angersolution.com.
Anger Solutions at Work How to Cope with a Bully Boss - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Christiansen's Website.
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Bullying at work is a form of workplace violence. By implementing sound strategies, and ensuring all employees are on the same page, employers and workers alike can reduce the risk and make work a safer place to be.
Knowing your company’s policies is paramount to dealing with a bully boss. Make sure you document behaviours, dates, times, and witnesses, so that you have accurate information to report. Talk to your health and safety representative, union steward, or to the person who supervises your boss. Let’s face it, in a perfect world, the buck would stop there; however, the truth is that very often, complaints against bully bosses go unheard or unaddressed. It is also true, that others who privately say they will back you up, will often back out when the poop hits the fan, leaving you in the lurch without viable witnesses. Then, it is your word against the boss. (Again, this is why documentation is so valuable.)
Should you end up in a situation where you have tried all avenues and the boss is still allowed to continue with the offending behaviours, you may have to take matters into your own hands. Here are some suggestions that may prove helpful.
• Call the boss on his/her behaviour. If the bullying you are encountering comes across in the form of veiled threats, use negative inquiry. Example: “Are you saying that if I don’t improve on my performance that you are going to fire me?” By bringing the threat out into the open, the boss now has to own it, rather than hide behind it. Remember that manipulation only works as long as you don’t realize you’re being manipulated! Bring any such tactics out in the open, and don’t be surprised if the bully starts backpedaling big-time.
• Be clear about what behaviour is making you uncomfortable, and indicate what works for you. “When you talk to me that way in front of my co-workers, it makes me feel belittled and humiliated. I would really appreciate it if from now on you would share any criticisms in private.”
• Do your job to the best of your ability. If you are struggling, ask for help from the others on your team. If it comes down to the word of the boss against yours, your work will speak for itself. Better to have a solid performance record than a weak one.
• Start looking for another job. Unfortunately there are plenty of lousy bosses out there, but there are lots of great employers too. Before you get to the point at which you have lost every last shred of your self esteem, prime your resume, and get back in the job search saddle. No one says you have to put up with continued abuse from a workplace bully – especially if that bully has authority over you. Take control of your own destiny, and get out before it’s too late.
This article is excerpted from 4-page report “Coping with Workplace Violence”. To receive your FREE copy of this report, email Julie at info@angersolution.com.
Anger Solutions at Work How to Cope with a Bully Boss - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Christiansen's Website.
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