Have you ever heard the expression that one bad apple can spoil the barrel? Unfortunately not only do many people believe this, but they actually live their lives by it.
What about all those good apples, don’t they count? Of course they do. Think back in your life. Do you define your childhood memories by success or losses? Do you remember all those A’s you made, or that one C or D in math. Think about this. Has that one bad grade defined who you are? I can remember a time when I was sharing with a very wise friend how I was struggling with a financial issue and told her, “I’m just no good in math.”
Being the inquisitive person she is, she replied,” Why do you say that? You do fine handling your finances.”
I replied, “I have always had a problem with math. Ever since I can remember, I've been bad at math. My parents said it was because they switched schools mid-year in 2nd grade and I was a year behind the math class I was placed in.”
That was, of course, a huge general assumption. Because of one bad experience early on in my life, I had defined myself as being bad in math. “What about all those courses you took in accounting and business math?” she asked me. I replied that I had done well, actually, and yet that early memory of struggling in school had tainted my self concept! What an eye opener that was for me! Today, I look forward to working with numbers – especially my finances. It is an empowering feeling!
You are in the driver’s seat in your life. Only you can define who and what you are. No person or experience can define that for you, but how many times have you let failures rather than successes define who you are and what you can do. This can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you are bad at something, then you actually set yourself up for further failure.
If on the other hand, when you concentrate on your successes, wondrous things can happen. This focus upon success also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you begin to succeed. With every success you build confidence and create the life you really want. You have all the control, and with just a shift in perception and focus you can turn your life toward the path you always wanted.
So how do you do this? Well, you can begin right now. Think about this week. What successes have you had? Now they don’t have to big successes, they can be simple. For example, you made a great dinner for your family. You held the door for an elderly person. You got up and went to work this morning on time.
This might be awkward at first to think about. Failures have such a strong emotional punch to them that they can overshadow success. Set them aside and concentrate on those successes no matter how small. With practice, it will become more natural and easy. You will become your best cheerleader and motivator. Now the next part of this exercise is to write your successes down in a book every day.
When you feel failure begin to take over your thought process and becomes the focus in your life, take out and review your success book. How do you know you are allowing failure to dominate you? The first clue is how you interact with people and the language you use. When a person asks you how you are doing today and your immediate response is to relate to them about your failures - you’re sick, you’re tired, you’re angry, you got passed over for that promotion - you know that you need to refocus on your successes. Try to use your successes in your interactions. People will notice a change in you and you will actually start to feel better about yourself and where you are going on your life path.
Don’t let that one apple spoil everything. Just let it go and enjoy the sweetness of the good apples everyday.
To learn more about this author, visit Eva Gregory's Website.
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