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How to conquer our fear of failure

Written by: Maggie Currie

Article Overview: Our fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval.

How to conquer our fear of failure

Our fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words "I can't." We feel it in a physical way by the rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection. We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour. If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval - which we often interpret as rejection.

As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection. Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard. This is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss. The boss has been replaced as the parent and is perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection. They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, "I can't, but "I have to," and "I have to," but "I can't."

We can beat these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character. We can increase our self-love and self-respect. Acting with courage in a fearful situation is a technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

First, we need to realize and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, "I can do it! I can do it!" whenever we feel afraid.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is the way we learn how to succeed.

Maggie Currie is a leading expert on confidence and self-esteem coaching and is the only Dawn Breslin™ Accredited Life Coach Practitioner and Group Trainer on the Isle of Wight and one of only very few in the UK having graduated from the Dawn Breslin Training Academy.
Maggie is also an accredited Corporate & Executive Coach and Personal Life Coach, having graduated from both Newcastle College and The Coaching Academy and has considerable experience in coaching individuals in their personal lives, in addition to their careers. Additionally she is qualified in various holistic therapies and loves to help people not only relax and rejuvenate but live the lives they want to live.
In addition Maggie is an accredited Practitioner of NLP. Her holistic and lively approach to personal development from the delivery of the training and coaching continues through to on-going support for results. No ifs, no buts, just results.
Maggie is passionate about helping people to rebuild their self-esteem and their confidence and loves to watch people change in front of her. She loves to help everyone she can to really live their best lives and enjoy themselves to the full. Not only that she practices what she offers to all her clients and lives her life to the full and enjoys it all; to find out how Maggie can help you visit her website at www.creedencetraining.co.uk and take your first step to changing your life. This could be the first step you take to transform the look and feel of your life --- forever!

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Article Tags: adult lives, beating of the heart, belief that, boss, courage, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fears, guardians, hostility, obsession, obstacle, rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing, rem, self esteem, self respect, suspicion, tight throat, vicious circle



Related Forum Posts
Re: 10 Reasons Who Startups Fail & Book Recommendations - Great post. But there is a paramount reason why business star up fail that is not addressed here. Which is the fear of failure. Someone said the fear should not been seen as a monster, but should be seen as horse that you can tame and ride as you like.
Re: Kevin's Case Study #14 - When to quit being an entrepreneur? - I agree with GT on this point. I also think that a lot of these decisions are fear based. If people say that they don't have the time, or other similar excuses then nine times in ten it is more that they fear failure. Either that or the bug has never bitten. Once bitten it is nearly impossible to stop thinking like an entrepreneur. MichelleJ
Re: Is "Good" - Good Enough - It could be that some people are actually not too confident of their abilities, or fear success more than they fear failure (as I said before somewhere on this forum!!)... Also, if you have a business that is plodding along and all your pals have businesses that are plodding along, you can fall into a kind of comfort zone and imagine that "that is the way things are and were meant to be"... People might look askance if you start to look beyond the comfort zone. They might take it personally!
Re: Take Action - Hi ideasuniversity, Thanks for sharing that personal example. So how would you advise someone to overcome the fear of failure that prevents him/her from taking action? By the way, what's to stop you from dating that "dream woman" now that she's no longer seeing your cousin?
Re: Fear of Success - You don't need to fear success. We should embrace it. Fear is define by a man of God as False Evidence Appearing Real. the meaning is what we fear most does'nt come to pass


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