The thought of being criticized sends most of us women shrinking back as if we’ve been seriously burned! It’s little wonder we hate being criticized when so many women feel like they are working hard and often living on the edge of being overwhelmed.
There are even more added factors at play. We’re just breaking free from society’s oppression on women. As a result, many women are left feeling they have to defend their value. Topping it all off is the nasty little truth that most of us women are our own worst critics!
If you relate to this, some good news is waiting for you. There are ways to handle criticism that don’t leave you feeling blistered and burned. In fact, it’s possible to actually walk away empowered from criticism.
* Strengthen Yourself Against Your Own Inner Critic First! *
Before we even discuss the actual handling of the criticism, we need to consider how you view yourself. If you enter criticism from a position of weakness, you’ll end up being weakened from the criticism. However, if you are prepared for criticism while living from a position of strength, you can use the criticism to grow.
Start by making a list of all of your strengths and all your positive qualities, no matter how big or how small. I invite you to fill a whole page. Yes, you are a woman and you have enough positive attributes to fill a page. Write what you suspect to be true, even if you have some doubts about what someone else may say.
We ALL have great qualities, even if we don’t always choose to express them for the world to see. So this isn’t you saying you are better than anyone else. In fact, don’t compare yourself to anyone else at all when making your list. Give yourself permission to write your list as if you were your own absolute best friend.
* Line Yourself Up With Truth *
One of our pitfalls as women is that we’ve made agreements with what we have perceived others see us to be. This has left many women open to the whims of other’s circumstances and moods. If you’ve fallen prey to this, you have literally given your power away.
It’s time to line yourself up with what you know deep down to be true about you. Go over your list and choose to accept and agree with every positive quality you have. These are your strengths and it’s absolutely essential to remember them.
* What To Do When Criticism Strikes *
When you get criticized, the very first thing you need to do is line your value up with what is true. You have many incredible strengths. Remember that EVERY human being has strengths and weaknesses. When you assume the knowledge of your strengths, it acts as the counterbalance to what might possibly be perceived as weakness. You want to feel strong, not weak!
* Interpreting The Critical Message *
I invite you to consider ONLY the one possibility of weakness that is being challenged. Comparing a whole list of strengths against one possible weakness should not tip the scales in a negative direction. You’ll know you’re off track if you have a whole landslide of negative thoughts coming into your mind. Make the decision to say, “No!” to those negative thoughts.
Now, ask yourself if you have been misunderstood in this current situation. Does the person’s criticism line up with what you REALLY know to be true about yourself? Push away thoughts that are based in fear. Many women fear they are not valuable, when deep inside they just feel misunderstood for who they really are. So, have you been misunderstood here?
Compare the criticism with your list of positive strengths. Have you listed the actual criticism as a strength? If so, you know the criticism is not valid. The other person has simply misunderstood you. Who knows? He or she may have been having a bad day. You don’t need to criticize them to be OK. What matters is that YOU are OK with you because you know the truth about yourself.
* What To Do If The Criticism Is True *
A most important truth to remember if a criticism has some validity is to recognize you have not been devalued unless you choose to devalue yourself. What we do is NOT the measure of our worth as a woman. So don’t even go there!
You are human and of course you have weaknesses. Is that such a big surprise? It doesn’t mean you are a failure! This is simply your opportunity to consider strengthening an area of weakness.
Write down the kind of strength you would really like to have in this area. Keep in mind, I’m asking how YOU would like to be and NOT the other person.
Take a moment and close your eyes to imagine what your life would be like if you turned this weakness into a strong point. Allow yourself to even experience what it feels like to have this great new quality.
If you can imagine it, you can do it! Ask yourself, “What is one small step I can take in this area to improve myself?” Once you’ve mastered that step, you can take the next step until you have turned that area into a true strength.
* Walking Away Empowered *
You are a being of choice. This gives you the opportunity to grow and evolve. Perhaps, you can even be grateful for the criticism because it gave you direction for new growth. It didn’t weaken you because you didn’t allow it to!
At the very least, you will have empowered yourself by reminding yourself of your strengths. Even greater is that you may walk away from your next criticism with a sense of empowerment AND knowing you have made a decision to reveal an even greater aspect of your personality to the world. Both are “win-win” situations.
Copyright 2007 Tami M. Szabo You may use this article on the internet as long as you leave the following author information complete with an active link: Tami Szabo coaches Business Women and Entrepreneurs who want to grow their lives and businesses using passion and purpose. Learn more and get Free Success Tips for Women on her website at www.destinysdoorcoaching.com
Interpreting Criticism: Walking Away As A Woman Empowered - To learn more about this author, visit Tami Szabo's Website.
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