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Stress Management: Ladies, Lose The Guilt!

Stress Management: Ladies, Lose The Guilt!

It’s time we women said, “Enough guilt!” What exactly are we trying to measure up to anyway?

This may come as news to you, but you will never get fully caught up on everything. There will always be something more to get done or something more you could do. Just look at your kitchen and tell me you don’t know this already!

When is what you’ve done “enough”? How can you get past the guilt that raises its ugly head? The answer lies in discovering what you’re trying to prove.


* Proving Your Worth *

For many women, we are trying to prove our worth as a woman. We’re trying to prove our worth to men, to employers, to our children and even to other women who are caught in the same vicious cycle.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise since we live in a world known for oppressing women. In some ways, we have been programmed to see our value based on our productivity. The good thing is that this lie is beginning to have some critical cracks, ensuring its destruction.

The sad thing is that we women haven’t quite believed the truth about ourselves. When our self esteem is feeling a little low, what do we do? We tend to try to prove our value by what we do instead. Sound familiar?

The problem comes when we discover women are humans, like everyone else. Humans simply aren’t perfect and we definitely have limitations. What happens when we simply can’t do all the jobs presented to us? What happens when we’re spread too thin to do a great job in every area? You guessed it…GUILT!

The other problem is the source of where we’re looking for approval.
When we look outside of ourselves for our sense of value, we give others permission to decide our worth for us. That’s a scary place to put ourselves in!


* You Decide Your Value *

What if the person to whom you have to prove your worth is actually you? You see your girlfriends as valuable so why would your value be any different? When you choose to believe you are good enough as you already are, guilt will begin to lose its strangling grip.

You are a being of choice. As such, you are the one who chooses your value. What price tag would you like to put on yourself? As you go higher in value, the effect of guilt lessens.


* Change Your Thinking *

You are a good enough, but you have to choose to believe it. You are not a failure and you have incredible value. You really have nothing to measure up to when you’ve recognized your own unique worth.

How you feel is up to you. You choose what your thoughts are and your thoughts affect your feelings. Guilt is simply just another feeling. Therefore, it stands to reason that to lose the guilt, you must change your thinking.

Guilt will drain you. On the flip side, positive thoughts may energize you. Start by saying “NO!” to negative thoughts. Replace them with positive ones. You’re smart, you’ll figure out which positive ones have the greatest effect on you.


* Begin with Decision *

Every action begins with decision. Decide what you need to do to get inspired about your value. Do you need to remind yourself you are beautiful and smart? Does doing something else tell you you’re valuable? Then do it! Set the intention to accept the truth: you have incredible worth and you have nothing to prove.

Choose not to let your productivity determine your value and toss that guilt off the side of a cliff!


Copyright 2007 Tami M. Szabo





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David Acheson
David Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns.  David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website

Dave Kurlan
Dave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website

Linda Richardson
Linda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website

Stephanie Robey
Stephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals.

She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com   Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences.  Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University.

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About The Author


Tami Szabo
(Visit Tami's Website) I coach Business Women and Entrepreneurs because I am passionate about seeing women achieve amazing things when they fully accept their true abilities. Business gives women a great opportunity to express their passions and purpose in a way that also brings financial rewards. I believe you are highly important as the foundation of your business. As you grow and unleash your true potential, you enable your business to do the same. You also empower those you lead. I do this personally as I coach women and write articles inviting women to step into greater personal success. I also enjoy practicing my business skills on my latest adventure of opening a Cappuccino Bar and Sports Consignment Store. I believe in living fully alive and making the most of every moment. I even have my own Coach! Of course, life is always a work in progress, but I keep moving forward. I do this happily in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of B.C. with my teacher husband and two feline companions. You can learn more or sign up for Free Success Tips for Women at www.destinysdoorcoaching.com or email me at tami@destinysdoorcoaching.com

Tami Szabo is a Gold author on EvanCarmichael.com
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