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Guest post by: Hani Al-Qasem Become an Author

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I went to a meeting last week which drove me to write this article.

“Who’s that loser sitting there, right at the back. The one with his head down, fiddling with his fingernails?” I heard the person two seats away to my right whisper rather loudly to her friend.

Her friend turned to have a look and both had a good old giggle. “What a loser,” they both reiterated simultaneously, their giggles turning into laughter.

I did not need to have a look, for the giggly girls described him rather well to me.

The certain individual they were referring to was not a loser. He simply lacked self confidence. And that lack was portrayed in his posture; in the way he sat and fidgeted with his nails.

Those people who do not have self confidence end up not achieving very much in life. On the other hand, those who possess a good level of self confidence achieve many things; their aspirations, goals and dreams.

The individuals who have self confidence tend to accomplish much more and are noticed more that those who lack self confidence. You will find them at the front row participating in meetings, unlike the poor fellow the girls were making fun of.

Self confidence is a very important element to achievements and success in all areas of life.

With self confidence you can have great relationships, personally and professionally. We cannot do away with relationships. It is through our relationships that we become more and have more.

Here are three tips as to how you can build your self confidence to establish and retain productive relationships:

1. Play a more active role with the friends you already have. Go out with them more often, meet their friends and work your way up to having more self confidence where you can get more involved and chat more easily and openly. Watch how a particular confident friend acts and do the things he or she does. Act like him or her. And it is very important that you stay clear of people who lack self confidence.

2. Increase your range of interests, take up more hobbies. Enroll in evening classes or clubs. This way you will have to meet people. Sit with them during coffee breaks, ask them questions about themselves. Keep them talking. And by the time they ask you a question, you will be more relaxed and self confident. Find new interests; learn a new language or improve upon a language, take up photography, painting, whatever it is that takes your fancy. Keep your mind on your interest and the people there. You will be happy, fulfilled and you will build on your self confidence.

3. Go find yourself a business or executive coach, or even a life coach. A coach is a great catalyst to help you reach your goal of self confidence much faster than on your own. Maybe your self confidence is gradually increasing, yet you want to become more confident for a particular reason much quicker; for example, for a party, a wedding, a meeting, a presentation. With the advice and support of the coach, you will most likely be ready for the event sooner than you might think possible.

These are simple steps that you can take. Why not pick up the phone now or write an email to a friend and suggest having a coffee together. Start to build your self confidence with an email.

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