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BUSINESS / SOCIAL INTERACTIONS (LISTENING

Written by: Sohan Singh

Article Overview: Hearing is a passive and subconscious use of our senses. Hearing simply means that your ears are picking noises. The Oxford dictionary describes hearing as ‘the faculty of perceiving sounds, There is no doubt that some sounds or noises will instinctively turn your hearing in to listening- a gun shot at night or a shuffling noise in the trees etc. To listen, one makes an effort to hear something, i.e. important news on the radio for instance. To listen is much more than hearing, it involves hearing a person attentively.

BUSINESS / SOCIAL INTERACTIONS (LISTENING

)There is an old saying that God gave us two eyes and one mouth so that we could look and listen four times as much as we speak. Normally we hear, but do not listen. We pretend to listen, but our minds are some where else or in full gear framing our own responses. We are looking for opportunities to give a fitting reply to a criticism, or narrate our own experiences.
Robert Cava in Dealing with Difficult People notes four kinds of Bad Listeners:
• Bashful people: They place emotional demands on every one they are with. If they don’t receive the attention, they tune out.
• Anxious people: Because they lack confidence, they are nervous chatterers. They worry about what they’re going to say next, which leaves little room for listening to others.
• Argumentative people: They’d argue with Einstein about his theory of relativity. They nit-pick small details, which breaks conversational flow.
• Opinionated people: They spend their energy formulating arguments rather than listening to others. They interrupt and begin every sentence with,” but-------.” These people may be overly anxious to impress others, but they produce the opposite effect. . People “tune them out”.
• Closed minded people: They have rigid sets of values and find security in their prejudices. Any new ideas or changes leave them feeling threatened.
At this point you may wish to examine your own listening skills and ask your self if you are a good listener or a bad listener.
To understand the qualities of a good listener, let us look at the differences between listening and hearing. Hearing is a passive and subconscious use of our senses. Hearing simply means that your ears are picking noises. The Oxford dictionary describes hearing as ‘the faculty of perceiving sounds, There is no doubt that some sounds or noises will instinctively turn your hearing in to listening- a gun shot at night or a shuffling noise in the trees etc. To listen, one makes an effort to hear something, i.e. important news on the radio for instance. To listen is much more than hearing, it involves hearing a person attentively.

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Article Tags: cava, confidence, dealing with difficult people, ears, einstein, emotional demands, experiences, god gave us two, gun shot, important news, listeners, listening skills, no doubt, oxford dictionary, prejudices, qualities of a good listener, reply, senses, theory of relativity, two eyes



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