BUSINESS / SOCIAL INTERACTIONS (LISTENING

Guest post by: Sohan Singh
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BUSINESS / SOCIAL INTERACTIONS (LISTENING - By Sohan Singh

)There is an old saying that God gave us two eyes and one mouth so that we could look and listen four times as much as we speak. Normally we hear, but do not listen. We pretend to listen, but our minds are some where else or in full gear framing our own responses. We are looking for opportunities to give a fitting reply to a criticism, or narrate our own experiences.
Robert Cava in Dealing with Difficult People notes four kinds of Bad Listeners:
• Bashful people: They place emotional demands on every one they are with. If they don’t receive the attention, they tune out.
• Anxious people: Because they lack confidence, they are nervous chatterers. They worry about what they’re going to say next, which leaves little room for listening to others.
• Argumentative people: They’d argue with Einstein about his theory of relativity. They nit-pick small details, which breaks conversational flow.
• Opinionated people: They spend their energy formulating arguments rather than listening to others. They interrupt and begin every sentence with,” but-------.” These people may be overly anxious to impress others, but they produce the opposite effect. . People “tune them out”.
• Closed minded people: They have rigid sets of values and find security in their prejudices. Any new ideas or changes leave them feeling threatened.
At this point you may wish to examine your own listening skills and ask your self if you are a good listener or a bad listener.
To understand the qualities of a good listener, let us look at the differences between listening and hearing. Hearing is a passive and subconscious use of our senses. Hearing simply means that your ears are picking noises. The Oxford dictionary describes hearing as ‘the faculty of perceiving sounds, There is no doubt that some sounds or noises will instinctively turn your hearing in to listening- a gun shot at night or a shuffling noise in the trees etc. To listen, one makes an effort to hear something, i.e. important news on the radio for instance. To listen is much more than hearing, it involves hearing a person attentively.

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BUSINESS / SOCIAL INTERACTIONS (LISTENING - By Sohan Singh

About the Author: Sohan Singh

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Sohan Singh, MA. BSc. (Hons)CQSW. www.achievinginnerpeace.com Life Coach---from where you are to where you want to be---= Author: Achieving Inner Peace Achieving Inner Peace approaches each aspect of our lives which disrupt our sense of peace and security and reveals the best methods to counteract the negativity that creeps into our daily lives. Using a mixture of various philosophical and religious maxims and contemporary stress-relieving techniques, Sohan Singh reminds us of such inspirational principles as: * True happiness and contentment are not dependent on externals. * Anger controlled is strength. * We create the causes of our suffering. Author: Achieving a Healthy Balnced Life! The book is about being a well rounded-person, about being fulfilled in the realization of goals. Most of us concentrate on acquiring material possessions or climbing the corporate ladder, but ignore other aspects of life. Sooner or later, we feel unhappy because of dissatisfaction with the way we are leading our lives. It is mainly because our living and working is not based on fundamnetal principles or natural laws.
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