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DEALING WITH FAILURE

Written by: Sohan Singh

Article Overview: Our greatest glory is not in ever falling, but in rising every time we fall. Any failure seems so total, later on you realise you can have another go.

DEALING WITH FAILURE

After a failure, hope may be in short supply for a while. If you ruminate with those who have succumbed to similar failures, they will only reinforce the view that nothing can be done about it. Following are some helpful hints to deal with an unsuccessful attempt:
• Catastrophes- is expecting the worst and interpreting events as evidence of impending disaster. . Some people see a set back as a total disaster, which will affect their total life. If such thoughts occur, recognise that they are automatic thoughts, i.e. they occur very swiftly, and without apparent prior cogitation or pondering. It is time to Stop and Think when Automatic Negative Thoughts are prevailing.
• Define the problem: Instead of focusing on how terrible the problem is, concentrate on defining the problem as a basis of solving the problem. (See Problem Solving)
• Wishful Thinking: When the outcome is not to our satisfaction, we tend to indulge in wishful thinking. There is a “classic destination syndrome” which assumes that when you reach the heaven of success, all your troubles will disappear. It is unlikely that you will get every thing right every time. Treat the failure as a challenge rather than dwelling on how wonderful life would have been if the failure hadn’t occurred.
• Challenges: Success will not end your troubles. As soon as one problem is solved, another will appear, or as soon as one goal is reached, another will be set sooner or later, and challenges start all over again. As Winston Churchill said: “Happiness is not freedom from problems, but happiness is having problems and handling them, and learning how to grow in order to handle them.”
• Be resilient: Resilient people rise again after experiencing blue times. If you find it difficult to bounce back, observe others who have faced similar failures and survived them. Discuss with them how they managed to overcome their failures with a view to learn something from them.
• Self Confidence: To attempt development of new avenues in life involves making mistakes as well, especially in the early stages. The really self confident remain high on self esteem despite their errors. Their failures and their mistakes do not dent their self-confidence. They are prepared to take risks, and try new things.
• Measured Response: There is a certain virtue in not appearing to take things too seriously. You can laugh about it with others. Treat the whole thing with unflinching gravity, and it will be difficult to explain to others why you failed.
• Supreme Being: If you believe that you have done every thing that was possible, and still not succeeded, then it is possible that God or Supreme Being or Nature has other plans for you.
• Analyse: To move forward, look at the problem or your self realistically and identify aspects of yourself that you know you must change. To turn failure into success, look for support around you. An effective Coach can be a catalyst to solutions, and help you when you perceive that the path to moving forward in life is blocked.
The next topic headed ‘Reflection’ aims to help you in the process of having a better insight or raised self –awareness.

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  Why Failure Is Really a Success
  Excuses and Explanations

Article Tags: automatic thoughts, catastrophes, challenges, cogitation, dwelling, failure, freedom, happiness, heaven, helpful hints, impending disaster, negative thoughts, new avenues, resilient people, satisfaction, self confidence, unsuccessful attempt, winston churchill, wishful thinking, wonderful life



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