Are we Born with a Negative Self Talk Gene?

I recently had a discussion with my daughter about internal self talk. During our conversation I was reminded how easy it is to think negative thoughts about ourselves and how difficult it is to think positive thoughts about ourselves and our lives. I wondered to myself, then out loud to my daughter, why is it that we are so quick to judge ourselves and find fault? It is not like we are all born with some negative thinking gene, are we? It is just as easy for us to say positive things about ourselves as it is to say negative, so why do we choose the negative? Why is it that we are so quick to believe the negative thoughts and not the positive?

Let's try a quick exercise to see where you are on your self talk meter:

First Step: List Five Positive things about yourself.

Second Step: List Five Negative Things about Yourself.

Okay, first were you able to come up with five positive things? If yes, congratulations. If no, keep reading.

Now tell me did you fill up your five negative things list? Was it easier or harder than the positive things? If you were unable to fill the negative, congratulations! But if it was easier than the five positive, then keep reading.

So if we are not born with a negative self talk gene, why is it that we are quick to judge ourselves and others in such a negative way? I am not sure of the answer, but I believe that it has a great deal to do with our protective armor. What is protective armor? It is the layers and layers of protection that we build up around ourselves each time we are rejected, hurt, disappointed, fail, etc. We are taught that all of these things are bad so we try to insulate ourselves from them. If they happen often enough we begin to see ourselves and the world in a very negative way.

So what is the answer to changing all this negativity? Change your thinking!!! Sounds too simple right, but it is that simple. The negative beliefs were taught to all of us and we chose to accept them. So just teach yourself to think positive thoughts and choose to accept them in their place. A gratitude journal is a great tool to change negative thinking into positive thinking. What is a gratitude journal and how does it work?

Any journal or notebook would work, but I recommend starting with the Simple Abundance Gratitude Journal, created by Sarah Ban Breathnach. The objective of the journal is to force you to think about all the things that you are grateful for in your life. You are to identify five things everyday that you are grateful for and write them down in your journal. The Simple Abundance Gratitude Journal is great for this because it provides the five lines for each day and is divided by month so it is easy to keep track of where you are. If you do this exercise everyday for at least a month you will see how your thoughts will begin to change and before you know it you will notice how your thoughts automatically turn to positive thoughts as quickly as they used to embrace the negative.

I encourage you to begin this exercise today. Purchase your journal and start writing, you will be grateful you took the few minutes each day to focus on the good!!! If you find you need support in retraining your internal self talk then sign up for a free coaching session at http://www.lisafredette.com/contact.htm.


Are we Born with a Negative Self Talk Gene? - To learn more about this author, visit Lisa A. Fredette's Website.

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