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The Balancing Act Part 3

Written by: John Toomey

Article Overview: Finding Balance between Work, Family, Friends, Self and Community in a Deadline Driven World is a tough task. How is it that some seem to find it easy whilst others seem to find it impossible. If it was as easy as a 1, 2, 3 step process, no-one would have the problem. You have read about the nature of Fear and Love and Warrior versus Victim in The Balancing Act Part 2. Now for the final chapter. Are you ready for the challenge? Read on...

The Balancing Act Part 3

The Challenge
So, are you being challenged enough in your life? Are you growing at a rate conducive to happiness and self satisfaction?

An old mentor of mine used to say, “When you are green you grow, and when you are ripe you rot!” Keeping yourself in a situation where you are not quite sure to do keeps an element of struggle in your life which in turn forces you to grow and adapt.

So, where are your challenges? If you do not feel you have adequate challenges right now, then perhaps you should go and find one, before one that you might not like comes looking for you.

Perhaps if you are feeling that you have a lack of balance in your life, your next challenge lies in correcting the balance. If you are spending too much time at work and not enough time with family, how do you fix it? What is controlling your decisions at present? Is there fear at work somewhere? Perhaps you just do not know when to stop? These are valid life challenges.

But this may require some deep self reflection and guidance. You see, there is a twist in all this. If it was your ego that created the lack of balance in the first place, you cannot use that same identity to fix it. It will simply create the same problem with a slightly different feel. Our decisions are driven by our beliefs. The most destructive beliefs we hold are the ones we have forgotten that we hold.

The areas that you need to keep challenging so that you remain strong and vibrant in those areas are:

 Work
 Relationship
 Parenting
 Friendships
 Fitness and Health
 Emotions
 Spiritual Growth
 Mental Development
 Personal Adventure

Throwing all of your energy into just one or two of these areas is fool hardy and limiting. You know that if your relationship goes off the rails, your work performance will plummet. So, what is your next challenge?
A Strong Company from an Employee Perspective
How do you view your employer? Do you see it as a great luxury bus that you ride in, all comfortable and air conditioned, with all the trappings, taking you where you need to go in life?

Or do you see it like a comfortable bus with no engine; a bus that must be pushed up the hills by its passengers so that it can be ridden down the next hill.

A truly great company is more like the latter. With everyone putting their shoulder to the wheel, the bus travels up the hills with great efficiency. Then, when the bus does reach the top, the passengers climb on board and enjoy the ride down the hill on the other side with much greater appreciation and satisfaction.

One person cannot push a bus up a hill. But, that person is a crucial part of a team of people pushing the bus. It is not the role of your leaders to push the bus for you. It is their role to choose the correct road and to steer the bus around the obstacles.

But: It is also the responsibility of the individuals to take care of themselves so that they may push the bus when needed. If someone is demanding that you push the bus when you are totally exhausted and have to tend to your own needs, it is not a sign of weakness to say, “Sorry but I cannot do it this time?” Total submission to unreasonable expectations without protest is fear. When fear rules, deliberate control of one’s life disappears and is replaced by reaction to circumstance.

A company cannot reach its peak when the people within are motivated by fear and are unwilling to deliberately run their own lives. Soon, all attempts to push the bus will fail because the team will be exhausted and will not have the motivation to continue.

Teams at Work
So, what about teams at work? What can they do to get the job done? If there is something that needs to be done, and no-one is sure if they should do it or not, but you know it must be done, then do it.

If someone responds negatively after the fact, it doesn’t matter. If you were operating out of integrity, others, will know it. You will know it. Fearing the possibility of getting into trouble, or not being appreciated, means team members will not extend themselves and do the things that have to be done. When this is the case, a team never excels.

Forget the past. Forge ahead and do the job. That way, you will receive more satisfaction in your work. And, if you make a mistake, you will surely learn something and those around you will receive an opportunity to learn as well.

And the team, because it is a team, requires each member to help each other out. If there is slack time in one area and someone else is under pressure, those who have little to do can help out. That is what a team of good people; good citizens, does.

Once when I was working in an AFL club, I noticed that the marketing department was snowed under with a mail-out of some 30,000 envelopes. They were up to their ears in letters, brochures, envelopes and sticky labels. I quickly asked some players if they could spare a couple of hours to assist. Their response was a very disappointing “No Way!” And to this day, that club has been unsuccessful for over 20 years. Need anyone really ask why?

One of the great secrets of being part of a community is this. It is not what you receive that makes a community rewarding, but the opportunity to contribute and serve for the common good of the community. Whenever there are bush fires and suburbs are under threat, or in fact being burned, people are filmed and interviewed. Some of these people, working hard to save theirs and their neighbor’s property, appear really happy. Why, because they’re getting the opportunity to do something really meaningful for someone else.
Delaying Gratification
An important life skill is the capacity to delay gratification. If you want to treat yourself to something, make yourself wait. When you do get to enjoy it, you will have earned it and you will appreciate it more.

This is the secret to staying healthy and keeping your weight under control.
Your Life is in Your Hands – Who is in Control
Life is hard. In fact, life is tough. Get used to it and then you can get on with living. If we look for an easy way, we will create a new challenge.

If you are watching too much television, turn it off or get rid of it for a while. It can be a wasteful habit that has never yet served as a tool of personal development. And, with the garbage we are being presented with today, there is even more reason to turn off the TV.

So, in the evenings, try talking more, reading, drawing, painting, doing craft or playing board games with your loved ones. Then, get to bed early and take advantage of the pre-midnight hours.
Commitment
Ponder the following from W.N. Murray of the 1951 Scottish Himalayan Expedition

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all facts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from that decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would come his way. I have learned a deep respect for Goethe’s couplets:

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can … begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”.
A Great Book to Draw From:
Living Deliberately Harry Palmer

Harry Palmer can be found at www.avatarepc.com.
Further Reflections on Your Life

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. Dan Quayle

How do you know you are there? When you don't have to ask the question any more.

Never express yourself more clearly than you think. Neils Bohr

When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. John F. Kennedy

God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest Buddhist Proverb.

I don't want the cheese, I just want out of the trap. Spanish Proverb

Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy. In a jar. On my desk. Steven King

The only limits are, as always, those of vision. James Broughton

Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God. Mary Manin Morrissey

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Article Tags: ego, element, emotions, employee perspective, fitness and health, fool, friendships, guidance, happiness, life challenges, luxu, mentor, parenting, personal adventure, self reflection, self satisfaction, spiritual growth, strong company, time with family, work performance



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