Delivering Difficult Messages at Work
Delivering Difficult Messages at Work
Feedback is essential to the professional development process. As you advance professionally, you will be placed in more situations in which you will need to give feedback to others. Letting your direct reports know how well they are doing is usually the enjoyable part of the feedback loop. It's when a difficult message has to be given that many managers and leaders stumble. Whether the information needs to be shared with an individual, a group or an entire organization, these instances can truly become an opportunity for all parties involved. Opportunity arises when the outcome of the interaction leads to greater awareness, learning, motivation, support and creativity as well as a call to action.
Faced with this challenge-cum-opportunity, how do you actually do it?
Be ready - Know the message that you want to deliver and the results you expect. Acknowledge and accept the uncomfortable feelings that you may have in taking on this role. If anxiety or fear is holding you back, refocus on the purpose of this interaction and the value that will be provided to all parties involved, including yourself. For most, this is a chance to stretch your communication skills.
Be concerned and compassionate, but don't 'step on eggshells' - By using empathy and considering how the receiver may feel during this meeting, you can phrase your message so it will be heard and will maintain the dignity of the receiver. Make sure the message comes across, though, and is not couched in niceties. And, focus the conversation on the work, not the person. Things that can be changed.
Be timely - Although it is easy to procrastinate on challenging tasks, this is one that is best done sooner than later for you and the person receiving the message. If the feedback is tied to a specific incident, it's best that both parties have it freshly in their mind. If it is more general, the sooner the feedback is given, the sooner action can be taken to improve the situation. Never 'save' difficult messages for future annual reviews. It will lessen the importance of the original message since it was delayed and a 'negative' surprise in a review can significantly impair motivation and morale.
Be concise - Once the conversation begins, allow it to finish quickly. If the receiver is having an emotional response, he/she may want time to regroup as soon as possible. Save other business items for a time when they will be heard.
Be available - After the conversation, let the receiver know you are available to support him/her and what other resources can be used.
Be genuine - It's OK to share how you're feeling about the process and to acknowledge the other party's feelings. A primary goal of this process is to maintain and enhance the working relationship. Considering the whole person allows you to move beyond this meeting.
Incorporating these approaches when you next deliver a difficult message will make the process easier for you and the person on the receiving end. As every situation is different, you need to consider unique interpersonal styles involved to determine the application of the above factors. Some will want greater compassion and need less support, while another may want you to be extremely concise (even blunt) with minimal compassion exhibited. Invest some time in considering what the receiver may prefer in this situation.
This process will also allow for quicker action and resolution as well as more effective maintenance of the professional relationship. Difficult messages need not end professional (or personal) relationships. When done with care, credibility and completeness, the result can lead to a more engaged colleague who feels supported and valued.
Lastly, delivering difficult messages also serves those providing the feedback. As managers and leaders get more comfortable with this process, these messages will no longer need to be categorized as bad/good, positive/constructive. All feedback will be a tool to enhance individual, team and organizational performance providing the proverbial win-win to all involved.
Delivering Difficult Messages at Work - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Cohen's Website.
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Delivering Difficult Messages at Work
Feedback is essential to the professional development process. As you advance professionally, you will be placed in more situations in which you will need to give feedback to others. Letting your direct reports know how well they are doing is usually the enjoyable part of the feedback loop. It's when a difficult message has to be given that many managers and leaders stumble. Whether the information needs to be shared with an individual, a group or an entire organization, these instances can truly become an opportunity for all parties involved. Opportunity arises when the outcome of the interaction leads to greater awareness, learning, motivation, support and creativity as well as a call to action.
Faced with this challenge-cum-opportunity, how do you actually do it?
Be ready - Know the message that you want to deliver and the results you expect. Acknowledge and accept the uncomfortable feelings that you may have in taking on this role. If anxiety or fear is holding you back, refocus on the purpose of this interaction and the value that will be provided to all parties involved, including yourself. For most, this is a chance to stretch your communication skills.
Be concerned and compassionate, but don't 'step on eggshells' - By using empathy and considering how the receiver may feel during this meeting, you can phrase your message so it will be heard and will maintain the dignity of the receiver. Make sure the message comes across, though, and is not couched in niceties. And, focus the conversation on the work, not the person. Things that can be changed.
Be timely - Although it is easy to procrastinate on challenging tasks, this is one that is best done sooner than later for you and the person receiving the message. If the feedback is tied to a specific incident, it's best that both parties have it freshly in their mind. If it is more general, the sooner the feedback is given, the sooner action can be taken to improve the situation. Never 'save' difficult messages for future annual reviews. It will lessen the importance of the original message since it was delayed and a 'negative' surprise in a review can significantly impair motivation and morale.
Be concise - Once the conversation begins, allow it to finish quickly. If the receiver is having an emotional response, he/she may want time to regroup as soon as possible. Save other business items for a time when they will be heard.
Be available - After the conversation, let the receiver know you are available to support him/her and what other resources can be used.
Be genuine - It's OK to share how you're feeling about the process and to acknowledge the other party's feelings. A primary goal of this process is to maintain and enhance the working relationship. Considering the whole person allows you to move beyond this meeting.
Incorporating these approaches when you next deliver a difficult message will make the process easier for you and the person on the receiving end. As every situation is different, you need to consider unique interpersonal styles involved to determine the application of the above factors. Some will want greater compassion and need less support, while another may want you to be extremely concise (even blunt) with minimal compassion exhibited. Invest some time in considering what the receiver may prefer in this situation.
This process will also allow for quicker action and resolution as well as more effective maintenance of the professional relationship. Difficult messages need not end professional (or personal) relationships. When done with care, credibility and completeness, the result can lead to a more engaged colleague who feels supported and valued.
Lastly, delivering difficult messages also serves those providing the feedback. As managers and leaders get more comfortable with this process, these messages will no longer need to be categorized as bad/good, positive/constructive. All feedback will be a tool to enhance individual, team and organizational performance providing the proverbial win-win to all involved.
Delivering Difficult Messages at Work - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Cohen's Website.
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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