There is No Such Thing as Work Life Balance…
There is No Such Thing as Work Life Balance…
- ANON
Let's begin by stating the obvious - there is no such thing as work-life balance. Although there may be some days you feel dead at work, let's be real. Work is part of your life, not a separate dimension. In fact, most of us spend more than 70% of our waking hours working in some capacity, so let's define work-life balance as simply 'balance' for short.
People often complain that their balance is out of whack. When asked to paint a picture of what balance actually looks like, they're often stumped. Is it:
• Just working less and spending more time at home?
• Taking off Fridays in the summer?
• Being away from work on Sundays?
Maybe, but true balance requires a very personal definition needing reflecting on your own individual situation, core values, needs, and priorities.
In order to create and live in a way that is balanced, you need to know what it means and why it's important to you. By defining your core values, you'll have better flexibility and creativity when it comes time to determine how to create it for yourself. Sometimes the benefits of better balance seem soft until you look at the true costs for not having it.
Often, we are looking for the answer or the solution to balance. However, I've found there's no one thing that can create balance in your life for you. Rather, transitioning to better balance consists of first identifying the elements of an ideal balance by examining those things you want to add, subtract, or modify that are most important to you.
• To start, create a list of all of the things that you consider to be key elements of your ideal balance. You are trying to define 'what' you want as part of your life to create the balance you seek. Don't worry about how you're going to get there yet. Remember to keep playing in the space of 'ideal world' without limiting your ideas and exploration to only what you think is possible, safe, or acceptable. Otherwise, you'll be cheating yourself of bigger possibilities. Better to start with what's ideal and work backwards, using a pragmatic filter to figure out how you're going to create those elements.
• Give yourself permission to be as specific as possible. For example, a core element may be more time with your kids. However, that's too general. Looking deeper, it may really be a few hours of quality time with your children during the week, and that's what you want to capture.
• Once you've defined what an ideal balance would be by defining the elements, now it's time to explore ways that you can enhance your life to create that balance. Get creative and look for things you can add or subtract that will create the elements you've identified. You may have to get out of your comfort zone. In the example above, one possible solution to having more quality time with your kids is to specify one night each week where you'll come home earlier to be with them and a separate one where you'll work later to keep up with your workload. Remember, it's about making it all balance, not having one at the expense of the other.
• Make a list of options that would enhance your balance and create these elements. This is the time to brainstorm creative ideas to capture as many options and opportunities as possible. Don't qualify or judge these possibilities. Some people might call them fair. Others might deem them unrealistic. Don't judge the options, create what you want for yourself. Just like a true brainstorm, every idea is a possibility. You need to be open to ideas that may not seem possible or feasible. Create a family movie night once per month. For your spouse, create a date night. You are only limited by your own imagination.
• Another key ingredient to the balance formula is your attitude. I've worked with people who believe that it's everyone else's responsibility to create balance for them. However, in these instances, you are effectively giving up your own power to everyone else and making yourself a victim to your circumstances.
• Rather than taking a position founded on entitlement, own a perspective of 'how can I make this work for everyone?' By accepting personal accountability for making it happen and by taking a positive and understanding approach, you will be open to more creative solutions
As Gandhi says, "be the Change you wish to see in the world." You must create the changes you wish to see in your life. Your boss, your company, your spouse - they are not responsible to give you the balance you seek. You must create it.
BALANCE TIPS
from Mike Jaffe
Here are some distinctions, beliefs, and attitudes you can adopt that will help you achieve a more satisfying balance:
1. Start with Your Own Definition
Define and know why having a better sense of balance is important to you by answering the following questions:
• How do you define work / life balance?
• Why is balance important to you?
• What are the benefits of having the right balance for you?
• What are the costs of not having it for you?
2. Create a Vision
Once you know what it is and why balance is important, create a vision of what it might look like.
• What are the elements of your ideal balance? (e.g. more time with kids, exercise 3 times per week, etc.). Be specific.
• What options or possibilities can you think of that would enhance your balance (even if they feel unrealistic at this point)?
3. Request Accountability
• What should the following people provide for you that would improve your sense of balance?
• Your company? E.g. Flex time
• Your boss/ colleagues? E.g. More hires to share the load
• Your spouse/partner/friends? E.g. Support
From your answers, which are important enough to you that you'll take ownership for creating them?
4. Prioritize
Remember, if you don’t honor your own boundaries (and others’), nobody else will honor yours.
• What boundaries can you set?
• Which of them do you want to make non-negotiable?
• What can you do to ensure your obligations and responsibilities are upheld that will enable you to continue to honor your own boundaries?
5. Create a Support Structure around Yourself
• Who do you need to inform and/or train regarding your needs and boundaries?
• What requests do you need to make of whom?
6. Get in Action
• What are the specific action steps I need to take in the next 30 days?
Summary:
• Lose your sense of entitlement
• Create a vision for yourself for your life
• Take ownership – you are accountable
• Bring the attitude of ‘How can I make this all work’
• Set and then honor your own boundaries
• Be comfortable saying ‘No’
• Little things count
• What are some other beliefs and attitudes you can adopt that will help you achieve more satisfying Life Balance?
There is No Such Thing as Work Life Balance - To learn more about this author, visit Michael Jaffe's Website.
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"I've learned that the process of life - including the work, obstacles, even the hassles - is my life. Life isn't the end result - it's everything in between the beginning and the end."
- ANON
Let's begin by stating the obvious - there is no such thing as work-life balance. Although there may be some days you feel dead at work, let's be real. Work is part of your life, not a separate dimension. In fact, most of us spend more than 70% of our waking hours working in some capacity, so let's define work-life balance as simply 'balance' for short.
People often complain that their balance is out of whack. When asked to paint a picture of what balance actually looks like, they're often stumped. Is it:
• Just working less and spending more time at home?
• Taking off Fridays in the summer?
• Being away from work on Sundays?
Maybe, but true balance requires a very personal definition needing reflecting on your own individual situation, core values, needs, and priorities.
In order to create and live in a way that is balanced, you need to know what it means and why it's important to you. By defining your core values, you'll have better flexibility and creativity when it comes time to determine how to create it for yourself. Sometimes the benefits of better balance seem soft until you look at the true costs for not having it.
Often, we are looking for the answer or the solution to balance. However, I've found there's no one thing that can create balance in your life for you. Rather, transitioning to better balance consists of first identifying the elements of an ideal balance by examining those things you want to add, subtract, or modify that are most important to you.
• To start, create a list of all of the things that you consider to be key elements of your ideal balance. You are trying to define 'what' you want as part of your life to create the balance you seek. Don't worry about how you're going to get there yet. Remember to keep playing in the space of 'ideal world' without limiting your ideas and exploration to only what you think is possible, safe, or acceptable. Otherwise, you'll be cheating yourself of bigger possibilities. Better to start with what's ideal and work backwards, using a pragmatic filter to figure out how you're going to create those elements.
• Give yourself permission to be as specific as possible. For example, a core element may be more time with your kids. However, that's too general. Looking deeper, it may really be a few hours of quality time with your children during the week, and that's what you want to capture.
• Once you've defined what an ideal balance would be by defining the elements, now it's time to explore ways that you can enhance your life to create that balance. Get creative and look for things you can add or subtract that will create the elements you've identified. You may have to get out of your comfort zone. In the example above, one possible solution to having more quality time with your kids is to specify one night each week where you'll come home earlier to be with them and a separate one where you'll work later to keep up with your workload. Remember, it's about making it all balance, not having one at the expense of the other.
• Make a list of options that would enhance your balance and create these elements. This is the time to brainstorm creative ideas to capture as many options and opportunities as possible. Don't qualify or judge these possibilities. Some people might call them fair. Others might deem them unrealistic. Don't judge the options, create what you want for yourself. Just like a true brainstorm, every idea is a possibility. You need to be open to ideas that may not seem possible or feasible. Create a family movie night once per month. For your spouse, create a date night. You are only limited by your own imagination.
• Another key ingredient to the balance formula is your attitude. I've worked with people who believe that it's everyone else's responsibility to create balance for them. However, in these instances, you are effectively giving up your own power to everyone else and making yourself a victim to your circumstances.
• Rather than taking a position founded on entitlement, own a perspective of 'how can I make this work for everyone?' By accepting personal accountability for making it happen and by taking a positive and understanding approach, you will be open to more creative solutions
As Gandhi says, "be the Change you wish to see in the world." You must create the changes you wish to see in your life. Your boss, your company, your spouse - they are not responsible to give you the balance you seek. You must create it.
BALANCE TIPS
from Mike Jaffe
Here are some distinctions, beliefs, and attitudes you can adopt that will help you achieve a more satisfying balance:
1. Start with Your Own Definition
Define and know why having a better sense of balance is important to you by answering the following questions:
• How do you define work / life balance?
• Why is balance important to you?
• What are the benefits of having the right balance for you?
• What are the costs of not having it for you?
2. Create a Vision
Once you know what it is and why balance is important, create a vision of what it might look like.
• What are the elements of your ideal balance? (e.g. more time with kids, exercise 3 times per week, etc.). Be specific.
• What options or possibilities can you think of that would enhance your balance (even if they feel unrealistic at this point)?
3. Request Accountability
• What should the following people provide for you that would improve your sense of balance?
• Your company? E.g. Flex time
• Your boss/ colleagues? E.g. More hires to share the load
• Your spouse/partner/friends? E.g. Support
From your answers, which are important enough to you that you'll take ownership for creating them?
4. Prioritize
Remember, if you don’t honor your own boundaries (and others’), nobody else will honor yours.
• What boundaries can you set?
• Which of them do you want to make non-negotiable?
• What can you do to ensure your obligations and responsibilities are upheld that will enable you to continue to honor your own boundaries?
5. Create a Support Structure around Yourself
• Who do you need to inform and/or train regarding your needs and boundaries?
• What requests do you need to make of whom?
6. Get in Action
• What are the specific action steps I need to take in the next 30 days?
Summary:
• Lose your sense of entitlement
• Create a vision for yourself for your life
• Take ownership – you are accountable
• Bring the attitude of ‘How can I make this all work’
• Set and then honor your own boundaries
• Be comfortable saying ‘No’
• Little things count
• What are some other beliefs and attitudes you can adopt that will help you achieve more satisfying Life Balance?
There is No Such Thing as Work Life Balance - To learn more about this author, visit Michael Jaffe's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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