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The Balance Lady is out of Balance

Written by: Debbie Lessin

Article Overview: Written as a New Years' Promise to Myself on January 2, 2009, I chose not to share my quandry until now. The death of my father in 2008 put my life so out of balance in a way that I never anticipated. It's a natural phase of life, but one that often clearly took me by surprise. Re-reading my thoughts now (end of April 2009) and ready to share my joys of new found balance, I can smile, take a deep breathe and know that "this too did pass". Time is a healer and so is a committment to to continually making balance a regular part of your life. Even the "Balance Lady" can be out of extremely out of balance! But listenng to my own advice, taking it step by step, going back to the basics, I too found my way back to balance. And now, I want to share those personal thoughts as 2008 came to pass and 2009 became my year of hope and promise.

The Balance Lady is out of Balance

A quiet beginning to a new year… No fancy parties, shiny dress or sparkly shoes for me. No make-up adorns my face. A repeat of the comfy sweater/black jeans ensemble from last week’s holiday festivities. There’s no one to impress tonight but me so appearances are of little concern. Movie and Chinese food; the Jewish Christmas Eve held on New Year’s Eve instead.

What constantly enters my mind is how happy I am to see 2008 end. I don’t recall ever thinking that about a year before. Perhaps my memory isn’t what it once was. Perhaps it just feels that way at this given moment. But I don’t think so. Most in my circle of friends and family are somehow affected the same way. A year of death, divorce, loss, grief, financial turmoil and job uncertainty. The good times were seemingly hard to remember, overshadowed as they were by the bad times.

The Year in Review recycles on every television channel and media source. My year’s highlight reels circling in my head repeating a mantra - end, end soon. I want my life back. I want the endless responsibilities suddenly thrust upon me since my father’s death to assume a normalcy in the course of my weekly events. I can assume the responsibility; stand up to the plate as need be. But I need it not to consume me in quite the same way as it has the last few months. I feel blindsided, unprepared and yet obligated without question.

The balance lady is out of balance. And try as I will (and have) with my busy season about to begin at the office; my overriding concern is that the flow from 2008 never really ended. At a time when many would be focused on working harder to ensure financial security in uncertain times, money has never been enough to motivate me to work harder. I work hard enough over the course of a year. I take full advantage of having a business with seasonal work flow peaks and valleys. It has afforded me the opportunity to create my own life; an opportunity that I not only recognized but acted on.

It’s one thing to be busy, to have my free time occupied with fun activities, hobbies, and even chores. But when suddenly new responsibilities that feel too much like work landed upon me, my response was to want to take flight, to bury my head in the sand. And yet, responsible person that I am, I can not shrug these responsibilities. I can not pay someone else to do them for me. This is my job in the family. And if the responsibilities have waited 54 years to arrive, so be it. I can take a few days off here; letting the paperwork stare me down. I can limit my daily dosage of phone calls and follow-up to-do’s. Whining or complaining serves no purpose. Action is the only thing that matters.

And so I ask myself…where do I find my balance now? I want my life back, the balanced one that I used to have. I miss my zest for life, the more cheerful me. How do I integrate these obligations into a more fun living life again? The answer is simple. Listen to my own advice and take it step by step.

I recognize that much of the estate work sorting and splitting, while complicated and tedious is in fact done. I have to remind myself that in 2008, I listened to my body both at work and at home, cutting back my hours even during tax season. I allowed my brain to be on fire when I needed it most, because I gave my body an extra hour of rest each night. I vow in 2009 to take a real vacation, not just patch a few days together here or there. I will relish in the fact that I still allow myself the luxury of a massage every two weeks. I will try to remember to clear my mind of the things that engulf it as my muscles and knots are kneaded and relaxed. I will remind myself that I like how I feel after I get on the tread mill in the morning, even for 15 minutes every few days on the mornings I awake before the crack of town. I will happily wait for air to thaw, to begin my neighborhood sojourns by foot, visiting my favorite stores en route. I will be grateful that I have a steady business, long-term loyal clients. I will think before I spend money just to spend it. But I will not deny myself my shopping pleasures. I work hard and I still deserve to have nice things. I will listen to my body, especially as it continues to age, knowing that prevention and persistence do pay off. I will be grateful for my family and friends, my circle of love that supports me in times both good times and bad.

I will repeat again and again….this too shall pass. For I know that it will. Life changes in ever ending cycles. I am out of balance, for me. But to someone else, my life probably looks more balanced than theirs. As much as we think we ought to or want to, we should never compare lives. Be careful what you wish for, it might not be what you want in the long run. In the long run, I want what I’ve wanted for years – more balance in my life. And now that I’ve said it out loud, I’ll take conscious steps to be sure that I get it!

January 2, 2009

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Article Tags: balancing act, life balance, natural phase



Related Forum Posts
Re: Sources of Cash - Thanks for the help. The items will be recorded in the Balance Sheet. But why does the Balance Sheet always balances. Is there a specific reason
Re: Sources of Cash - Thank you for guidance and direction. Is there a simpler way of understanding the Balance Sheet and all the components that are to be recorded.
Re: Getting *back* to the next step - Take time out to enjoy life, family, friends before you get back to the 'next step'. I know a lot of people can lose focus on the task at hand by taking a break, but balance is key. Balance is integral to maintaining overall success in business and life!
Re: Balance - Make time for things you love - Balance in life is important, and one generally is more productive work wise when they take the occasional break to smell the roses or read a book that has nothing to do with work but is just for enjoyment. A little time spent with the family is also a worthwhile pass time. MichelleJ
Re: Balance - Make time for things you love - I agree to the importance of balancing a person's life. I know several people who seem to think that they were just put on earth to "bring home the bacon" and they'll do it at any cost. As a result, many of their marriages have suffered and children have been almost neglected. We once had a great guest speaker at one of our teacher in-services and he hit this very hard, as teachers tend to easily fall into the catagory of Live Off Balance; especially those that also coach. I will never forget his valuable motivational speech and have tried to keep my life balanced ever since. I look forward to checking into this subject futher and going to the links mentioned when I have more time. That's for letting us know about it.


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