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Practice the art of restraint

Written by: Leslie Gail

Article Overview: Thanksgiving is right around the corner, along with holiday celebrations and the new year. This typically means stressful situations and possible heated family moments. Every day we are faced with similar situations that could easily bring out the worst in us. Learn ways to cope with stressful situations.

Practice the art of restraint

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, along with holiday celebrations and the new year. This typically means stressful situations and possible heated family moments. Every day we are faced with similar situations that could easily bring out the worst in us. A colleague says something that upsets you. A friend makes a comment that irritates you. It is easy to lash right back, but it might be wiser to adopt a little restraint. Our first impulse might not help the situation, it will probably only escalate the feelings on both parties. Instead of lowering yourself to another's level, try taking the higher road with a dose of restraint and calm. Sometimes just taking a bit of time to organize your thoughts and take a deep breath will benefit everyone involved. My son is seven years old and he already understands the benefit of taking some time to himself when he is angry and unsettled. I discussed this openly one time when he didn't understand how to deal with his feelings. He knows that taking a brief time out and cooling off is better than acting out and getting into trouble. I am hoping instilling this at a young age will benefit him later on in life. If you ever feel so angry and know there is a good chance that you'll say something that you'll regret later on, take a step back. How many of you have impulsively said something that was hard to repair later on? Sometimes you can't fix words that are hurtful and not thought through. This week try catching yourself before overreacting to something or someone that obviously pushes your buttons.

ACTION TIPS FOR THE WEEK:

1. Take a breath
When you are caught off guard, it is easy to overreact and act impulsively. Next time this happens, take a deep breath and resist the urge to snap right back. Just the mere act of waiting will give you time to think clearly about your actions prior to doing them. Focus this week on taking breaths whenever you feel something or someone getting the best of you!

2. Escape the environment
When something is said and you feel yourself holding back, sometimes it is necessary to take a step away. Distancing yourself from the environment will also allow you to take some time to think through your next move. You may or may not need to confront the person, but at least allow yourself a break to come up with rational alternatives.

3. Get information needed
Before coming to your own assumptions as to why someone acted a certain way, ask questions. Get yourself the information needed prior to putting your foot in your mouth. Most of the time once you receive an explanation, it alleviates your urge to lash back. Just understanding someone else's point of view, creates a bigger picture than what you assumed. Try this this week! Ask questions, and do the research before jumping to conclusions.

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Article Tags: breaths, colleague, deep breath, feelings, first impulse, good chance, holiday celebrations, new year, seven years, stressful situations, thanksgiving, time out, urge



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