“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the first places I start with new clients is doing values work. Many people have never even thought about what their values are. Have you? I mean really looked at your values?
Why is it important?
Your values are the principles, beliefs and attitudes that guide your decisions, actions and behaviors. Your core values reflect who you are and represent your heart. They define and distinguish who you are as a person – what matters most to you, what you stand for (and stand on) as your inner foundation. When you act in a way that is in conflict with your heart, your life feels more like a struggle, unhappiness grows, you can feel disconnected from your SELF. When you make choices and take actions that line up with your values, you will experience greater peace and abundance.
According to works of Louis E. Raths, Sidney B. Simon, Merrill Harmin, Howard Kirschenbaum and Leland Howe (The VALUES REALIZATION INSTITUTE), a value must meet seven criteria:
1. It must be prized and cherished
2. It must be chosen from among alternatives
3. It must be chosen freely, without coercion
4. It must be chosen after thoughtful consideration of the consequences of each alternative, not impulsively, and after careful critical thinking.
5. We must be willing to publicly affirm it
6. We must act on it, and act on it repeatedly
7. It must be consistent with the other values we profess or claim to hold
So, do you know what you value most? What do your care about deeply and passionately?
I suggest writing down your 5-10 core values – the ones that represent the essence of who you are. Next, define them so they aren’t just words on a page. Create language to capture the spirit of each value – what does it mean to you – AS YOU?
For example:
Integrity is a core value for me. My definition is: “Showing up” and taking 100% responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions in all areas of my life. Sharing my gifts, talents, passions, and skills in service to humanity.
Give yourself some time to refine your definitions so you reveal the heart of what each value means to you. (It’s not unusual for me to work with clients for several weeks on this exercise!).
Coaching Tip: Identify Your Core Values - To learn more about this author, visit Lorraine Cohen's Website.
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