Can Multitasking Ruin Your Work Life Balance?
Can Multitasking Ruin Your Work Life Balance?
So I learned how to 'swap hats' in an instant. From solopreneur to dad in 3 seconds flat. And I learned how to go back from dad to solopreneur in the same amount of time.
The issue is contamination of one context to another. That's tech jargon. What it really means is you can't fully do two things at the same time. Yes, you can fool yourself that you can juggle talking to young children while writing emails, reports etc - but they know the truth. If you aren't fully present, you're not really listening to them with heart and mind. And that's what they want, nay, demand. Try pretending and they will just hang around longer until they get their full measure of you. That's if you're lucky. If you're unlucky they leave unsatisfied and feeling less worthy about themselves. That thought horrified me.
Here's what I learned to do.
1. Decide what my priority was at that moment in time.
2. Turn up (be present) or negotiate
Let us say that my office activity wasn't time sensitive and I could take 5-10 minutes out to play and be with my daughter. I would make a mental bookmark of where I was at in the project and then mentally swap hats from project manager to dad. Part of the hat swapping process was the decision to be with my daughter for the next 5, 10 or 15 minutes. I found from experience this was about all the time she wanted before going onto other adventures.
Another crucial part of this equation was how 'present' I was during this 5 - 15 minutes. When I was fully there, 10 minutes was the average time she needed from me. If I was half present and my mind was sneaking back to my project, she would want at least 20 minutes of my time. Hmmm. So I learned another life lesson from my daughter. 'Be where you are.'
On occasion I did have time pressures that meant it was important to focus on the project I was involved in. In those cases I would negotiate with her. Even when as a youngster she could appreciate the concept of sharing and that you don't get everything that you want on demand.
If I made a promise that after finishing the report or project, I would take her to the park, beach, go for a walk; she would be happy and wander off to some other adventure until the promised time. Of course, I would honour that promise otherwise she would learn not to trust me.
Let's get specific and break the process down into chucks.
To shut off from work, you need to incorporate a ritual that separates work life from home life. The ritual helps you to define one context from another. The trouble is when we contaminate one context with another. My ritual was values based i.e. on my values around being a good dad and a solopreneur. Both were important for me and were worth honouring. I also understand and I can't fully succeed at both at the same time. They had to be treated as separate activities. When I decided which was appropriate at any given time, I would put on the appropriate hat. This was a crucial part of the ritual. Even thought the hat was imaginary it still had real implications.
When I had my 'dad' hat on, I listened fully to my daughter and was present emotionally was well as physically. I left my work on the desk knowing it would still be there when I returned and that it would only take a moment to get my head back into the project. I didn't have guilt feelings no matter which hat I was wearing because I knew I would be getting back to the other in a predictable negotiated amount of time.
When I switched back to 'solopreneur' I felt happy that I was being a good dad and the song 'Cats in the Cradle' was no longer playing in my head. Now I could finish the project and be fully present whilst doing so.
So, go experiment, have fun...and notice the difference in your effectiveness and the connectedness in your family.
Can Multitasking Ruin Your Work Life Balance - To learn more about this author, visit Bill Lee-Emery's Website.
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When my daughter was very young, she would wander into my office and want to chatter, see what I was doing and generally get my undivided attention. In the early days I tried to multitask and distract her while I continued to write that very important letter, or finish the project I was working on. Then I would feel guilty that I was wasting our precious time together on work stuff when I could be enjoying my time with her. I swear I could hear the song 'Cat's in The Cradle' coming from somewhere in the room!
So I learned how to 'swap hats' in an instant. From solopreneur to dad in 3 seconds flat. And I learned how to go back from dad to solopreneur in the same amount of time.
The issue is contamination of one context to another. That's tech jargon. What it really means is you can't fully do two things at the same time. Yes, you can fool yourself that you can juggle talking to young children while writing emails, reports etc - but they know the truth. If you aren't fully present, you're not really listening to them with heart and mind. And that's what they want, nay, demand. Try pretending and they will just hang around longer until they get their full measure of you. That's if you're lucky. If you're unlucky they leave unsatisfied and feeling less worthy about themselves. That thought horrified me.
Here's what I learned to do.
1. Decide what my priority was at that moment in time.
2. Turn up (be present) or negotiate
Let us say that my office activity wasn't time sensitive and I could take 5-10 minutes out to play and be with my daughter. I would make a mental bookmark of where I was at in the project and then mentally swap hats from project manager to dad. Part of the hat swapping process was the decision to be with my daughter for the next 5, 10 or 15 minutes. I found from experience this was about all the time she wanted before going onto other adventures.
Another crucial part of this equation was how 'present' I was during this 5 - 15 minutes. When I was fully there, 10 minutes was the average time she needed from me. If I was half present and my mind was sneaking back to my project, she would want at least 20 minutes of my time. Hmmm. So I learned another life lesson from my daughter. 'Be where you are.'
On occasion I did have time pressures that meant it was important to focus on the project I was involved in. In those cases I would negotiate with her. Even when as a youngster she could appreciate the concept of sharing and that you don't get everything that you want on demand.
If I made a promise that after finishing the report or project, I would take her to the park, beach, go for a walk; she would be happy and wander off to some other adventure until the promised time. Of course, I would honour that promise otherwise she would learn not to trust me.
Let's get specific and break the process down into chucks.
To shut off from work, you need to incorporate a ritual that separates work life from home life. The ritual helps you to define one context from another. The trouble is when we contaminate one context with another. My ritual was values based i.e. on my values around being a good dad and a solopreneur. Both were important for me and were worth honouring. I also understand and I can't fully succeed at both at the same time. They had to be treated as separate activities. When I decided which was appropriate at any given time, I would put on the appropriate hat. This was a crucial part of the ritual. Even thought the hat was imaginary it still had real implications.
When I had my 'dad' hat on, I listened fully to my daughter and was present emotionally was well as physically. I left my work on the desk knowing it would still be there when I returned and that it would only take a moment to get my head back into the project. I didn't have guilt feelings no matter which hat I was wearing because I knew I would be getting back to the other in a predictable negotiated amount of time.
When I switched back to 'solopreneur' I felt happy that I was being a good dad and the song 'Cats in the Cradle' was no longer playing in my head. Now I could finish the project and be fully present whilst doing so.
So, go experiment, have fun...and notice the difference in your effectiveness and the connectedness in your family.
Can Multitasking Ruin Your Work Life Balance - To learn more about this author, visit Bill Lee-Emery's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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