Tweet

Does Midlife Make You a 'Lone Wolf'?

Written by: Les Brown

Article Overview: The US scores highest in the world in the realm of cultural individuality vs. collective concern. The result can easily be a nearly unbridgeable isolation.

Does Midlife Make You a 'Lone Wolf'?

One of the five scales that sociologists use to measure cultural differences is called 'individuation', which is contrasted with 'collectivism'. The scale measures where a society falls along the continuum that represents whether the culture is more individual- or group-oriented. In case you haven't heard, the United States is clearly #1 in the world in individuation, followed by Australia, Great Britain, and Canada (rather surprisingly, of all the countries measured, Guatemala sits at the other extreme of the scale). Our position, together with the other Anglo-centric cultures, has some interesting effects . . . and side effects.

Some could argue from the data that (up until very recently, at least) technological and economic progress may be directly related to individual initiative and innovation. In fact, as China's economy becomes ever more market-driven, these are exactly the traits that we're beginning to observe; while, under Chairman Mao, individuality was condemned as shameful. ONe side effect of the economic success won by a culture of individuality would be the rise of competitiveness: the 'dog eat dog' world of the aggressive entrepreneur, where success seems to depend on withholding information, not openly committing to courses of action, and avoiding aliances. Competitiveness, rather than cooperation, also seems to be related more to the testosterone set, rather than to the estrogen community.

In contrast to the technological and economic strengths of an individualistic culture, we find corresponding weaknesses in the way these kinds of cultures provide personal and familial support. In many (if not most) cases, family identity is irrelevant, individuals are expected to fend for themselves as much and as soon as possible. A family 'culture' (with loyalties, special celebrations and rituals) is either entirely absent or irrelevant. Privacy is critically important. Lasting relationships are difficult to achieve and maintain. Conflict is expected. Divorce is frequent. Does all this sound at all familiar to you?

From your youngest years, the underlying presuppositions of an individualistic culture such as ours molds your expectations of what 'adult' life should look like: what's 'normal', what's 'unusual', and, most especially, what's 'abnormal.' This means that your North American culture expects that women will express their emotions more easily and readily than men; and, even then, emotional expressions of happiness are considered to be OK, whereas expressions of sadness are discouraged. Again, it's very telling that admissions of vulnerability, particularly among males, are definitely not OK, as is seeking help for personal problems. Boys, after all, don't cry. The cultural assumptions of individuality that so strongly influence your attitudes and behaviors go a long way toward reinforcing gender stereotypes of all kinds.

As a result, on top of the cultural pressure to 'go it alone', you're also being subjected to peer judgments that see behaviors that may be interpreted as collectivist or cooperative as being not only weak, but 'unmanly'. Short of having yourself publicly proclaimed 'emasculated', what's a guy struggling with the midlife tradition to do? After all, you're expected to remain a proud and aloof 'lone wolf,' and, if you stray too far from that stereotype, you'll suffer the consequences. Yet, take a closer look at those consequences, and you'll see that there are even more and possibly worse consequences awaiting you behind a failed midlife transition (what people call the 'midlife crisis').

Some of the emotions that come with the midlife transition are: sadness, discontent, bitterness, lonliness, isolation, brokenness, discouragement, frustration, exhaustion, self-doubt and even hopelessness. What tools are left to the 'lone wolf' to get him out of his emotional rut and into a new perspective on your life? Admittedly, there are few. You could read about it; but few people are writing anything helpful about it (even if you thought reading about it would be a good idea). You could ask your doctor for a prescription for antidepressant to help you with your anxiety and moodiness. Or, you could bury yourself in your work, get irritable and angry at home with your family, play (or watch) a lot of sports, drink too much or do drugs. That's about it for a 'lone wolf'. Midlife doesn't 'make' you into a 'lone wolf', but being a 'lone wolf' at midlife can certainly turn your life into a midlife crisis.

Related Articles
  What Is Midlife, After All?
  Rebel’s Ranting: The Digital Wolf
  Are You Feeding the Right Wolf?
  What Purchasing Agents Are Learning These Days
  Looking into the Heart of the Beast

Article Tags: chairman mao, competitiveness, continuum, cultural differences, dog eat dog, economic progress, economic strengths, economic success, estrogen, familial support, family culture, family identity, individualistic culture, individuality, individuation, loyalties, rituals, scale measures, sociologists, testosterone



Related Forum Posts
Re: Quote of the Day - "The only people witho - Thanks for sharing this Evan, there are some very powerful quotes in there, I particularly like this one:- You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully. regards, Mal.
List of a few legitimate online business - Well My main methods to make money so far are adsense,affiliate marketing and freelancing and I think these are some more sites that can help me to make some more money.Your reviews are welcome: ::linkworth dot com>This site is awesome and offer lots of ways to make money. ::mturk dot com>complete simple mini task and get paid ::microworkers dot com>complete simple mini task and get paid ::shorttask dot com>complete simple mini task and get paid ::istockphoto dot com>sell stock photos ::eHow dot com>Make money writing ::Bukisa>Make money writing ::Associate Content>Make money writing ::Triond>Make money writing ::fiverr dot com>$5 freelancing job ::cpalead dot com>make money by completing offer ::peerfly>make money by completing offer
Re: 10 Tips to Start an Online Business - [quote="Anya101":1y6il6zm] 5. Make it very easy for people to order your products. The easier the order process, the more orders you will get. Make sure your payment pages are secured. If you accept payment online, it is [/quote:1y6il6zm] *This* is very good advice. I went to a site a couple of weeks ago to order a DVD, an independent movie, and instead of having Paypal, I had to jump through hoops to sign up for their payment system. It would have taken me more minutes than I cared to spend, so I just didn't bother!
Re: May Traffic Drop Off from Google's Update - I feel that the best way to make your website click is to target both SEO and other marketing channels. In case it is not possible for website owners or webmasters to invest into other marketing channels, then they must make sure that they are following guidelines laid down by search engines. Whenever there is an update in algorithm, it is only done to filter out artificial websites from the search results. However , it is observed that on several occasions innocent people fall victim to the update in algorithm. If you have an article website and your member copy pasted article from some other website, there is very little you can do to avoid duplicate penalty. The latest tips to avoid your rankings going into roller coaster ride is to make sure :- a) That your website is having genuine and unique content b) Make sure you do not use any automated SEO tools. c) Make sure that your back linking pattern is not a pre-defined targeting same set of keywords again and again. d) Add useful content to your website every single week or fortnight ( if possible) e) Abstain from artificial keyword density f) Abstain from empty pages on your website or doorway pages with empty or duplicate content. g) Make sure you to not have HTML errors in your coding ( If your H1 tag is left open, then it can trigger SPAM ALERT on Google.)
Re: How do I upload my picture? - Make sure your picture is 3-5 year old because that's what everyone does in forums.


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Halloween Howl Seven by Author Paige Agnew

Providing Feedback

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.