Living Life on Life's Terms
Living Life on Life's Terms
In my opinion, that's probably the greatest disappointment of midlife and beyond: that the promised rest ('retirement') doesn't materialize anymore. Steve is from the Chicago area, and he shared with me that most of the people whom he knew were still working at the same corporations (some of them in the same jobs) that they'd had for thirty or more years. That has not been his experience (he was downsized twice), yet he was somewhat surprised to hear that almost no one whom I know from the midlife-and-beyond group has escaped a career change after age 50. Perhaps it's a bi-coastal phenomenon that's only now reaching Middle America. However, the point needs to be made that it is, in fact, reaching Middle America now.
At times, I've stated my firm belief that one of the great challenges of surviving the midlife transition derives from the sense of profound disappointment that comes when you realize that most of the assumptions that you had about 'success' in your early adult years were bogus. We joke about the portrait of life that we were fed from such 1950's and 1960's TV shows like "Leave it to Beaver" and "Father Knows Best". It's a picture of life that even now we're digesting with 20/20 hindsight in such period dramas as TV's "Mad Men". We were somehow brought up to believe that, when we retired, life would, at least, be quieter. Also, it would be better if we worked hard and saved up wisely for our 'Golden Years.' Many people still go into middle age believing that, even though slowing down will be inevitable, at least we have some peace and quiet to look forward to.
For those with 1950's-style expectations (that includes just about all of us baby boomers), we're just know getting into the depths of our disappointment. As midlife expert George Beshara shared with me on the radio program about six weeks ago, 'retirement' has now become an obsolete concept. In its place, we now have 'serial careers'. This is happening for a number of reasons: 1) financially, the 'safety nets' have gone and there's no longer any such thing as a 'guaranteed income'; 2) the quality of life we enjoy has extended our years of vitality now well into our 80's (for those who don't succumb to disease); and 3) the pace of life does not let up just because you've reached a certain age.
The midlife transition takes you from a naive other-centeredness (where you do you best to live up to other people's expectations) to an enlightened self-motivation (where you begin finally to live by your own principles and values). At the same time, the transition doesn't relieve you of any of your obligations or release you from the stresses and demands of living life on life's terms. In fact, you can expect to keep growing, developing, learning, and fighting for your very existence right up until the end. Life has no mercy on those who've been hanging around a long time: in fact, the demands become greater as (one by one) the props get kicked out from under you. In the end, this process enables you to live life to the fullest but, in the meantime, you'll get no rest, no matter how 'well-deserved' it may be.
You can't change the way life unfolds; that's the same for everyone (only the details vary from person to person). What needs to change during the midlife transition is your attitude toward life. As the challenges become ever-greater, so do your opportunities to develop your sense of value, your courage, and your sense of self-esteem. The ever-widening challenges of life that you'll encounter on the other side of the midlife transition give you the chance to live life well and without regret. Why should you look on maturity as a time of decay? It's not. It's a time of extraordinary inner (spiritual) growth and development. It's the time when you've finally been given the perspective that you need to see the bigger picture — and your place within it.
There's no need for you to fear the challenges of maturity. Facing them head-on gets you over that soon enough. Your real fear should be that you get to the end of the road and look back only to see that you never got to fulfill your real purpose. 'The Terror' as Kuntz laments in Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness (filmed as Apocalypse Now) lies not in regretting at the end of your life what you did, but what you didn't do. Maturity, as they say, is not for the faint-hearted. It takes tremendous courage to face the challenges of the second half of life. The rules don't change just because you've reached a certain milestone of age or achievement. Life on life's terms awaits you, regardless of your age. Forewarned is forearmed. If you can tailor your expectations to what awaits you, your chances of embracing it with joy and vitality and living it to the full without regret are tremendously enhanced. Indeed, despite the challenges, the best is always yet to come.
Living Life on Lifes Terms - To learn more about this author, visit Les Brown's Website.
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On last night's internet radio program, I interviewed rock musician and author, Steve Mayfield, about his new album and book, Afterlife Crisis. One of the principle themes (that became a song on his album) was that, even when we've gotten through the midlife transition, we still can't find a "Resting Place" — somewhere or somehow to put down the stresses of life and catch our breaths.
In my opinion, that's probably the greatest disappointment of midlife and beyond: that the promised rest ('retirement') doesn't materialize anymore. Steve is from the Chicago area, and he shared with me that most of the people whom he knew were still working at the same corporations (some of them in the same jobs) that they'd had for thirty or more years. That has not been his experience (he was downsized twice), yet he was somewhat surprised to hear that almost no one whom I know from the midlife-and-beyond group has escaped a career change after age 50. Perhaps it's a bi-coastal phenomenon that's only now reaching Middle America. However, the point needs to be made that it is, in fact, reaching Middle America now.
At times, I've stated my firm belief that one of the great challenges of surviving the midlife transition derives from the sense of profound disappointment that comes when you realize that most of the assumptions that you had about 'success' in your early adult years were bogus. We joke about the portrait of life that we were fed from such 1950's and 1960's TV shows like "Leave it to Beaver" and "Father Knows Best". It's a picture of life that even now we're digesting with 20/20 hindsight in such period dramas as TV's "Mad Men". We were somehow brought up to believe that, when we retired, life would, at least, be quieter. Also, it would be better if we worked hard and saved up wisely for our 'Golden Years.' Many people still go into middle age believing that, even though slowing down will be inevitable, at least we have some peace and quiet to look forward to.
For those with 1950's-style expectations (that includes just about all of us baby boomers), we're just know getting into the depths of our disappointment. As midlife expert George Beshara shared with me on the radio program about six weeks ago, 'retirement' has now become an obsolete concept. In its place, we now have 'serial careers'. This is happening for a number of reasons: 1) financially, the 'safety nets' have gone and there's no longer any such thing as a 'guaranteed income'; 2) the quality of life we enjoy has extended our years of vitality now well into our 80's (for those who don't succumb to disease); and 3) the pace of life does not let up just because you've reached a certain age.
The midlife transition takes you from a naive other-centeredness (where you do you best to live up to other people's expectations) to an enlightened self-motivation (where you begin finally to live by your own principles and values). At the same time, the transition doesn't relieve you of any of your obligations or release you from the stresses and demands of living life on life's terms. In fact, you can expect to keep growing, developing, learning, and fighting for your very existence right up until the end. Life has no mercy on those who've been hanging around a long time: in fact, the demands become greater as (one by one) the props get kicked out from under you. In the end, this process enables you to live life to the fullest but, in the meantime, you'll get no rest, no matter how 'well-deserved' it may be.
You can't change the way life unfolds; that's the same for everyone (only the details vary from person to person). What needs to change during the midlife transition is your attitude toward life. As the challenges become ever-greater, so do your opportunities to develop your sense of value, your courage, and your sense of self-esteem. The ever-widening challenges of life that you'll encounter on the other side of the midlife transition give you the chance to live life well and without regret. Why should you look on maturity as a time of decay? It's not. It's a time of extraordinary inner (spiritual) growth and development. It's the time when you've finally been given the perspective that you need to see the bigger picture — and your place within it.
There's no need for you to fear the challenges of maturity. Facing them head-on gets you over that soon enough. Your real fear should be that you get to the end of the road and look back only to see that you never got to fulfill your real purpose. 'The Terror' as Kuntz laments in Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness (filmed as Apocalypse Now) lies not in regretting at the end of your life what you did, but what you didn't do. Maturity, as they say, is not for the faint-hearted. It takes tremendous courage to face the challenges of the second half of life. The rules don't change just because you've reached a certain milestone of age or achievement. Life on life's terms awaits you, regardless of your age. Forewarned is forearmed. If you can tailor your expectations to what awaits you, your chances of embracing it with joy and vitality and living it to the full without regret are tremendously enhanced. Indeed, despite the challenges, the best is always yet to come.
Living Life on Lifes Terms - To learn more about this author, visit Les Brown's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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