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Success Is a Dead End

Written by: Les Brown

Article Overview: 'Success' as defined by the adult world is a static concept that's bound to lead to ennui. Midlife gives you the chance to get yourself back on track.

Success Is a Dead End

'Be careful what you pray for, 'cause you just might get it.' Have you ever heard that saying? In my opinion, it so perfectly describes the pitfalls of adulthood. Keep in mind that I have what I think is quite a unique definition for 'adulthood': childhood without the parental constraints. The dreams of the young adult are very often a mixture of the soul's passion with a child's naieveté. It's the latter that can land you in an emotional soup around the onset of the midlife transition.

Consider this quote from author Dan Millman (The Way of the Peaceful Warrior):

"If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality."

The problem with achieving 'success' derives from the fact that, as an adult, your definition of 'success' is too limited. However, this realization doesn't really hit home until midlife. If you've been successful, there's a good probability that you're going to (or already have) run into one of two unsettling situations. These come upon you when you've achieved a certain mastery in your field. In the first scenario, the pressure is immediately on you to surpass yourself. Not only do you have the face the onset of boredom ('been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt), but you also quickly become aware that there are younger, brighter, even more ambitious people than you chasing behind you. What happens to your success when you've been overtaken by people more successful than you?

The second scenario can be even more painful. It occurs when your drive to succeed allows you to attain your highest goals. Only then do you have the opportunity to stop and look around. You may even allow yourself to feel your feelings about what you've achieved. Those pesky emotions tend to flood in around the onset of midlife. What happens to you when you look at your success and feel only disgust? Very often, when people have achieved their goals they discover that the achievement didn't bring them what they thought it would or, even worse, that it did bring them what they thought it would, and it wasn't what they really wanted, after all. The French have a great word to describe that feeling: ennui. It describes a feeling beyond boredom — all the way to emptiness.

Is there a cure for ennui? I think so, and midlife presents exactly the context we need to embark on it. You can only break open the dead end of success by redefining it for yourself. The superficial definitions that you inherited from your childhood need to be revisited. You need to go much more deeply into the bigger questions of life. This is essentially a spiritual quest, and can't genuinely be satisfied by anything less. Until you're prepared to take a serious look at the core purpose of your life, you'll be left chasing after one unsatisfying 'success' goal after another. Your real purpose (I prefer the term 'destiny') can't be confined to a simple definition because, as Millman suggested our opening quote, 'purpose', 'destiny', and 'success' are all dynamic terms: they evolve even as you pursue them.

It takes courage to undertake a spiritual quest because it means giving up forever the hope of finding 'the answer'. Every choice you make in life changes the question. Yet, on a truly spiritual quest, there's no possibility of ennui because there's no fixed 'goal' to attain. You can never become obsolete and surpassed by other younger, brighter, and more ambitious people, because your spiritual path belongs to you alone. You are the one and only expert in being you. Do you have what it takes to face the midlife challenge: to become the person you were always meant to be?

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Article Tags: achieving success, adulthood, ambitious people, boredom, constraints, dan millman, dreams, feelings, life and death, midlife transition, mixture, passion, pitfalls, predicament, probability, realization, tee shirt, way of the peaceful warrior, young adult



Related Forum Posts
Re: THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD...RIGHT NOW!!! - Success = Thinking (Head) + Heart (Feeling / Interest) + Hand (doing/ action). Success - H3 Robert
Gardening reduces stress - Hi Anon, In my case I think that my physical health does suffer - and I am pretty sure I am not doing a great job taking care of it. Finding the time to exercise seems impossible. The more probably reality is that I dislike going to a gym so it just isn't important enough for me to find the time. Mental health is different - I try to purposely set aside some time each week to recharge a little, sometimes it's a simple as going into my backyard and doing some gardening. Dead-heading flowers for about half an hour is pretty much stress free. If I really need a break I go to my cottage for the weekend - no cable, no internet and no phone.
Re: Recommendations for going Wireless - GT, I've used "Air Cards" from Sprint, T-Mobile and Verizon. I've also use a Blackberry as an external modem. Like any device there are limitations. The down side to these devices is whether or not your computer is in a dead zone. As for getting onto the Internet via these devices, they do well, but there in again it depends on where you are at. Dead zones are common and can disconnect you from the Internet without warning. But just as quickly as you get disconnected your device can easily detect a signal and reconnect without you having to log back in. Now the bad news. Monthly rates are a huge factor for this convenience and do not provide any real savings. Check your local provider for packages and pricing.
Re: Success - I study success intently, and would like to share: Here's two excellent and nearly identical success-formulas from a couple of the world's masters. FIRST FORMULA: 1. Passionate Desire 2. Clear, Definite Purpose 3. Committed Decision 4. Take Action In Faith (Bonus Secret Sauce: 5. Repeat Consistently) I made a video about this, but am not allowed to link it yet. Google "Ryze Success Steps" for it. Oh, and this is Napoleon Hill's (Master Of Success Laws)'s Formula. SECOND FORMULA: 1. Passionate Desire 2. Understand It Is Already Done (Faith) 3. Relax & Allow It To Unfold (Go about your life calmly) This one is courtesy of Abraham-Hicks (inspiration for the movie The Secret). Hope that helps!
Success Strategies - How to get the results you want now? Success Strategies and Action Steps I have used are: The Power of Choice Where you are at this present moment, is exactly perfect from the choices you have made. If you want to be somewhere else, you have to decide clearly what that is (your goal/outcome) and create action steps to achieve this. The Power of Focus The book "The Power of Focus" by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt, is one of my treasures in my Entrepreneur Library. If you focus on what you want versus what you do not want, your conscious and sub-conscious mind will direct attention to this. The movie, What the Bleep, Down the Rabbit Hole, explains this in detail about quantum physics and what we create in our lives. The Power of Commitment This is not about commitment to others. The first step is the commitment, your word, you make to yourself. Accountability and responsibility are additional success strategies and ingredients to creating the success, defined by you, that you want. The commitment to others reflects your integrity, your word and the team you work with. Co-workers, clients, yoru family, friends and community. My Success Acronyn in Success Breakthroughs(c) is: S pecific & self-directed U nlimited opportunities & possibilities C reate powerful outcomes C onsistent measureable results E xperience pwoerful transformation S olution and action-oriented S uccessful habits and outcomes Break Through to Powerful LIfestyle & Performance Choices Moira


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