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The Courage to Change
Written by: Les BrownArticle Overview: The truth is that, when it comes to change, together we can do what we cannot do alone.
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Free Download - It's Always Something -- If It's Not One Thing, It's Another By Les Brown |
The Courage to Change
I never expected that taking courageous action could result in
enjoying such positive feelings. I want to start out this little
article giving enormous credit to my eight fellow group members and
four staff members — and myself — for having the courage to spend a
week together "Real World" style (miked and filmed almost every waking
moment) for the sake of letting the world know that there's hope out
there for anyone suffering from chronic emotional pain. Our stories
will be told for all to see in January on a special edition of one of
the NBC Television Network's major program series*.
This
experience has tremendous significance above and beyond the NBC T-shirt
I get to wear to tell all my friends that I've been filmed for national
TV. It focuses directly on what I believe is the principal cause of
crisis in the lives of adult men and women: the overwhelming (and
paralyzing) fear of dealing with their personal issues. It's not too
strong a characterization to call this process 'facing your demons.'
It's always much easier to deal with the externals of a life going
off-track than it is to come face-to-face with the changes that each of
us needs to make in our beliefs, our attitudes, and our behaviors.
Those two denizens of self-defeat, denial and blame, are constantly at
hand to see to it that we never actually face and bring closure to the
old patterns we use to provide ourselves with a sense of safety, even
when those patterns have progressed way beyond futile: all the way to
harmful.
What I took away from my experience of confronting my personal
demons on national TV — and supporting my fellow participants in their
efforts to do the same — was an appreciation for our collective and
individual courage. Each one of us, without exception, was willing to
go to any lengths to do the work necessary to move forward. Personally,
that provided me with a sense of belonging beyond anything I had
experienced before. Certainly I felt that I shared common bonds with
each of us who embraced this experience, but it went way beyond that. I
came away with a feeling of belonging in my own skin and taking my
place in this universe to which I was entitled by birth. I experienced
it as an accomplishment beyond anything I've done thus far. Every other
accomplishment — like feats of physical strength or skill, or achieving
academic honors, or speaking or publishing or whatever else I've done —
have all been open to being bettered: I could get another degree, write
another book, speak before a larger audience, create a more successful
business, etc. Confronting the personal demons that continue to weigh
me down and trip me up (especially with the world watching) provides a
once-in-a-lifetime experience that can't be repeated or surpassed.
Life-altering experiences like this one, by definition, are unique.
We
just love to be distracted. Most of us would do almost anything to
remain distracted: the ubiquitous iPod, TV and radio going every waking
moment, food or mood-altering chemicals of any sort to make us feel
good inside, activities that pour on the adrenaline and give us an
emotional boost. There's literally no end to the things that we can do
to make ourselves feel better without ever having to confront the reasons or causes for our feeling pain.
The 'crisis' that comes at midlife comes down to a crisis of courage.
For whatever reason, we've become addicted to feeling the way we feel,
and we're afraid that if we face those issues head-on
that we'll have to change. It goes way beyond the fear that we'll have
to change our behavior; it goes all the way to the terror that we'll
have to change our beliefs about ourselves and about the world and how
it functions, and we'll have to change our attitudes as well. We'll no
longer be able to look at ourselves through the fog of denial, and
we'll no longer be able to shrug off our personal responsibility by
clinging to the banner of blame. We're basically terrified that the
buck really does stop here (with us personally).
The feelings
that I've come away from this experience with are almost indescribable.
Even after all the work I've already done to confront and combat the
forces of denial and blame in my own life, experiencing the results of
my having the courage not only to do my own work, but to do it publicly
and for the benefit of others who may not (yet) have the courage to
take on their personal demons has gone way beyond anything I could have
expected. I sense that others will be able to tap into the courage that
my fellow group members and I have shown and 'borrow' some of our
courage to be able to do their own work. When life — especially midlife
— seems too difficult to endure, here's an opportunity to reach out and
take heart from what we have done and where we have gone. I always
wanted to make a contribution to my world; I really hadn't expected
when I signed on to this opportunity that this would be the greatest
contribution that I could have made up to this point. I hope and pray
that anyone currently struggling with midlife issues who has had an
encounter with me and with my work will be encouraged to reach out for
help, if not to me, then to someone whom you respect and admire. The
truth is that, when it comes to change, together we can do what we
cannot do alone.
How to deal with Overwhelm
LEADERS DISPLAY COURAGE BY CHOICE NOT BY CHANCE.
What is your DNA of leadership?
Do you have the Courage to ASK?
Fear vs. Courage
Article Tags: adult men, any lengths, courageous action, defeat denial, denizens, emotional pain, externals, fellow group members, fellow participants, mdash, miked, national tv, nbc television network, paralyzing fear, personal demons, personal issues, positive feelings, principal cause, self defeat, world style
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About the Author: Les Brown RSS for Les's articles - Visit Les's website  Click here to visit Les's website   How Stuck Are You in Your Job What to Do When Youre in Hot Water Punching Yourself Until They Give Up Climbing Out of the Fog Midlife and Catastrophe Consciousness |
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- What a truly amazing lady!
Thanks for posting this ideasuniverity, it had me hooked from beginning to end and then I had to go and look at the website. The words "Courage is not a gift, courage is a decision" really make you think.
Take care,
Carol
Re: Spellcheck?
- [quote="TheAnonymousMan":2f894q6j]When discussing the majority of people I would definitely say that most people hit the "Change" or "Ignore" button without thinking too much about the correct spelling of a word. All bosses are concerned about is getting the report to the Directors meeting on time.[/quote:2f894q6j]
That probably depends on what the "majority" are trying to accomplish. I have word set to alert me about misspellings and grammatical problems, so I fix most as I go. But I also add names etc to the dictionary because I get tired of seeing the red and green squiggles when I know the info is right.
If you're only going to click "Change" or "Ignore" then why bother to take the time to use spell check????? Business people that I work for want the info compiled in a timely manner and they want it right - which is fine because that's the way I strive to do any project. Sending out a memo, letter, report etc with obvious spelling and grammatical mistakes makes the person and the company look bad as far as I'm concerned.
Shri
Re: e-Commerce and e-Payment providers
- Hi GT
It is only fairly recently that people in South Africa have been able to get full use of Paypal as we were only able at one time to make payments but not receive them. Fortunately this has now changed. I have received money through Global X Change for one of the affiliate programs that I promote and have found them pretty good as the money is normally transferred directly into my bank account within 2-3 days and I have not had any problems with them.
MichelleJ
Re: Obama Wants Social Security for Illegals
- [quote="Alan Mater":3kaa8sg4]
Obama WILL make changes... but they're not the changes we as a country need or should look forward to.[/quote:3kaa8sg4]
Sad but this is exactly how I feel about it. Change is coming - but unless I'm really wrong, it is not a change this country needs. Amazing how much a good speaker with a good speech writer can do. If you paid attention to the things he said "off script" - much of it is frightening.
Chris
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