When Making the Right Choice Goes Wrong
When Making the Right Choice Goes Wrong
How hard was that? How long did it take you? Did you have to stop and ask yourself, "What does he mean by 'core values'?" Did you have to stop and think, confused by a long list of things that seem very important to you? Did you find it tough to choose the top three, or did you just write down the first three values that popped into your head? It doesn't matter to me (at least not right now) what your top three core values were: I want you to have the experience of stopping whatever it was you were doing (obviously, reading this article) to think about it. The more difficult you found this exercise to be, the less thought you've given to your core values recently. What does that indicate?
There's a good chance that, if you haven't taken the time to explore your core values in a while, you may not be aware of the principles that are driving your decision-making. Would you trust your GPS to guide your driving if you haven't updated its software in years? Yet, your core values determine many more important choices in your life than when to make a left or right turn in traffic. Let's review (for the sake of argument, I'll call it a 'review') how your core values function in your decision-making process.
Your core values are those principles that you use, often subconsciously, to evaluate your choices: that is, to determine the relative value of one choice over another. Is it better (that is: more valuable or more advantageous) to select this possibility over that possibility? Does this seem obvious? Now consider this: almost exclusively, people make their choices based on what feels right to them, rather than what makes better sense to them. The most confrontational question you can possibly ask another person is, "Why did you do that?" Asking them 'why?' immediately puts them in the position of justifying (rationally) a decision that was probably made emotionally. When it happens to you, you'd probably have to admit (at least to yourself) that you don't really have any rational justification for your choice, it just 'felt right.'
When you make a decision, you subconsciously engage your core values. That suggests that, if you want to determine what your core values really are, you should look at the decisions you've made over the past week or so and ask yourself what reasons you had for making each of them. If you can be honest about it, your collected reasoning will show you what's really important to you (your values). In this context, the old saying makes sense: "Your actions are shouting so loudly that I can't hear what you're saying." Your choices, based on your core values, will cut through even the smokescreen of self-delusion and rationalization that you may use to cover up bad choices (and poor values) with good reasons.
I hope you're able to see the importance of making your core values explicit. Knowing these values and keeping them in your conscious mind not only helps you to make your decision-making more rational, it also serves to keep yourself aligned with your chosen purpose and goals. Here's something else to consider: people (wrongly) think that your core values determine what you do in the present. It seems as though your core values should guide your rational decision-making process, choice by choice. However, since most decision-making is not rational, but emotional, in fact, most of the time, when you make most of your decisions, you're not engaging your reason at all. From this perspective, your core values determine, not your present choices, but your future choices. The more you align yourself with consciously-chosen core values, the more likely your emotion-driven future decisions will be informed by those values.
Are you finding it difficult to achieve the ends for which you think you want to strive? Perhaps its because your present choices are being driven by old values (those 'old tapes' that people often talk about). Those old and often-dysfunctional values will continue to infect your decision-making process until you're able to replace them with strong, consciously-chosen core values of a different sort. Here's where coaching can be a great help to you. When you engage the help of a coach to discover your core values, you have a better chance of getting out of the always-present trap of self-delusion. Then, once you've determined your core values, you need to review them ofen — even daily — to make sure that they've sunk in to the deeper levels of your awareness. Only then can they serve to take charge of your decision-making process and keep you aligned with the purpose and meaning behind the person you really want to become.
When Making the Right Choice Goes Wrong - To learn more about this author, visit Les Brown's Website.
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Quick: stop reading right now and write down your top three core values. Do it now! . . .
How hard was that? How long did it take you? Did you have to stop and ask yourself, "What does he mean by 'core values'?" Did you have to stop and think, confused by a long list of things that seem very important to you? Did you find it tough to choose the top three, or did you just write down the first three values that popped into your head? It doesn't matter to me (at least not right now) what your top three core values were: I want you to have the experience of stopping whatever it was you were doing (obviously, reading this article) to think about it. The more difficult you found this exercise to be, the less thought you've given to your core values recently. What does that indicate?
There's a good chance that, if you haven't taken the time to explore your core values in a while, you may not be aware of the principles that are driving your decision-making. Would you trust your GPS to guide your driving if you haven't updated its software in years? Yet, your core values determine many more important choices in your life than when to make a left or right turn in traffic. Let's review (for the sake of argument, I'll call it a 'review') how your core values function in your decision-making process.
Your core values are those principles that you use, often subconsciously, to evaluate your choices: that is, to determine the relative value of one choice over another. Is it better (that is: more valuable or more advantageous) to select this possibility over that possibility? Does this seem obvious? Now consider this: almost exclusively, people make their choices based on what feels right to them, rather than what makes better sense to them. The most confrontational question you can possibly ask another person is, "Why did you do that?" Asking them 'why?' immediately puts them in the position of justifying (rationally) a decision that was probably made emotionally. When it happens to you, you'd probably have to admit (at least to yourself) that you don't really have any rational justification for your choice, it just 'felt right.'
When you make a decision, you subconsciously engage your core values. That suggests that, if you want to determine what your core values really are, you should look at the decisions you've made over the past week or so and ask yourself what reasons you had for making each of them. If you can be honest about it, your collected reasoning will show you what's really important to you (your values). In this context, the old saying makes sense: "Your actions are shouting so loudly that I can't hear what you're saying." Your choices, based on your core values, will cut through even the smokescreen of self-delusion and rationalization that you may use to cover up bad choices (and poor values) with good reasons.
I hope you're able to see the importance of making your core values explicit. Knowing these values and keeping them in your conscious mind not only helps you to make your decision-making more rational, it also serves to keep yourself aligned with your chosen purpose and goals. Here's something else to consider: people (wrongly) think that your core values determine what you do in the present. It seems as though your core values should guide your rational decision-making process, choice by choice. However, since most decision-making is not rational, but emotional, in fact, most of the time, when you make most of your decisions, you're not engaging your reason at all. From this perspective, your core values determine, not your present choices, but your future choices. The more you align yourself with consciously-chosen core values, the more likely your emotion-driven future decisions will be informed by those values.
Are you finding it difficult to achieve the ends for which you think you want to strive? Perhaps its because your present choices are being driven by old values (those 'old tapes' that people often talk about). Those old and often-dysfunctional values will continue to infect your decision-making process until you're able to replace them with strong, consciously-chosen core values of a different sort. Here's where coaching can be a great help to you. When you engage the help of a coach to discover your core values, you have a better chance of getting out of the always-present trap of self-delusion. Then, once you've determined your core values, you need to review them ofen — even daily — to make sure that they've sunk in to the deeper levels of your awareness. Only then can they serve to take charge of your decision-making process and keep you aligned with the purpose and meaning behind the person you really want to become.
When Making the Right Choice Goes Wrong - To learn more about this author, visit Les Brown's Website.
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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