Self Esteem

How do you see yourself? Do you have confidence in your abilities? Do you think of yourself as a leader or as someone who has a job to do? Do you feel like you have greatness in yourself, or do you feel you’re destined to work, then retire, and that’s that?

On the ride home from my mother’s house one day, I was talking with my wife about some things. There’s one thing she talks about all the time, which is weight. She’s fine, but like many people, they are never happy with where they are. I asked her what it would mean if she reached her weight goal; she said it would help her self esteem. I said that if she needed to reach that particular goal, then there had to be other issues to deal with.

I pointed out some things, based on our history with each other. I pointed out that she was at the weight she now aspires to be when we met, and asked her what she thought about her self esteem then; she said it wasn’t good. I then pointed out all the things that she’s accomplished in her life since I met her, a litany of things I’m not going into right now. As I pointed all these things out, she realized just how many achievements she’d had in the time we’ve known each other. Then I asked her what was going on in her life a year before we met. She threw out a few things, and I then pointed out how much she had grown in just that year before she met me. I also pointed out once again that weight doesn’t define who she is; she herself gets to define what she is.

Each one of us is a product of our environment. Most of us, as adults, get the chance to define our environment to some degree; we make of our lives what we wish to make of it. Sometimes circumstances get in the way, but how we deal with those circumstances tells us not only what we’ve learned in the rest of our lives in how to deal with such times, but where our minds are going to take us as we move onto our next adventure.

I’m a major Dr. Phil fan. I almost never miss a show, and if I’m not going to be around I always have a tape ready to get it. One of the things he says all the time is that the only person you can ultimately control is yourself. Even though you can learn how to work with others in the most positive ways possible, it’s still you personally who has to decide to do it. It’s you who decides how to get the education you want or need to succeed. It’s you who decides how to interact with other people you work with. It’s you who decides, and should decide, how you want to live your life.

How do you feel about yourself? If you’re a manager, it usually means that someone felt you were capable of being a leader. That should have given you some self esteem. Did you graduate from college? Not everyone graduates from college, no matter what level of a degree you have; that should have given you a nice boost of self esteem. Are you married? Even if it’s not the best marriage in the world, and hopefully it is, at least one point in your life your personally self esteem had to be real high, because someone else had decided you were the one they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Have you ever placed first in any competition? If so, you’ve proven to yourself and others that you can be a winner; that should have been a great boost to your self esteem.

Ss you read this, think about some reasons you should be thankful because of your own achievements. Give yourself a break; honor yourself and your accomplishments. Think back as far as you have to and, if it helps, write down every single success you’ve ever had. You’ll find that you have had many; all of us have. Some are more significant than others; that’s just how life goes. Does that mean you have to be where you ultimately want to be right now? Not in any way. Tony Robbins states that once a person has attained their goal, it’s time to set another goal. We always need a reason to try harder, to work harder, to be more than we already are. Without that, we don’t truly exist in this world. I believe in you; do you believe in yourself? If not, look at what you’ve done in your life; if you’re fair, you’ll see you’ve done pretty well.



Self Esteem - To learn more about this author, visit T.T. Mitchell's Website.

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