What gets in the way of accepting and embracing all of who we are? Take a moment to pay attention to the thoughts that float to the surface when you ask yourself: What has me questioning that I am not acceptable as I am right in this moment?
Core limiting beliefs might be “I’m not good enough” or “I have to get it right”. We may resist or deny our true feelings because we judge ourselves as bad for feeling them or judge our feelings as negative. Such thoughts pressure us to be perfect, an unattainable goal to achieve. Judging ourselves when we don’t meet our expectations, we can easily get triggered by others. We may perceive that ‘they’ are judging us and withdraw when, in fact, it’s our own internal reality. Then the resulting lack of closeness in our relationships can serve to add even more proof that we’re not good enough.
Our inability to accept and embrace all of ourselves can lead us to search …
search from a place of needing to ‘fix’ ourselves. This frantic urgency to grow comes from the belief that we are NOT enough. It comes from believing that there is a destination for us to reach where we are will be ‘altogether’. It’s the search for that tool that will fix us - once and for all.
In this perspective, we’re going upstream - fighting the current of life. We’re not living our lives - enjoying the range of emotion and experiences that make us uniquely ourselves, human and vulnerable and perfect in our imperfections. We don’t get that life is a process. Our eye is on some future place where we finally ‘get it’ and only then will we be altogether and perfect.
Living from this perspective, we are ignoring the paradox of life. We are already enough. We are perfect. It’s all there for us; even more there for us when we stop and relax and notice. Divine Love is present - always. Opening our hearts to receive that love gives us the juice to move downstream in the flow of life.
There is another paradox. Not until we accept and embrace our wounded child - the root of our judgments and pain - can we fully move forward in our lives and open ourselves to Love.
I love coaching as it leaves it up to the client to lead the agenda not from a place of being broken or in need of being fixed. There’s an invitation to accept and integrate the past as inspiration to contribute to others and practice compassion. The focus of coaching is how to celebrate life, to live from our strengths, to be in the moment, to feel engaged in what we’re doing so we feel the vitality that’s part of truly living, and to relate to ourselves and those around us in clear and loving ways to the best of our ability. It lives in the paradox. We’re perfect now, and there’s always room for expansion if we choose.
What would be different if we lived our life in process, knowing that we are enough in this moment? Would you be able to say: I am okay accepting and embracing all of myself unconditionally?
Go to a mirror. Look deeply into your eyes. Notice if your thoughts first move toward judging your appearance. Notice if any critical thoughts about your character show up in your mind. Without resistance, breathe. Look deeper into your eyes. Be with the perspective that your thoughts are only background noise. All is well.
Stay present to yourself as you breathe and look more and more deeply into your eyes. Feel that place - the core of you - the essence that knows you are so much more than your personality. The Divine within is present, always, in its wisdom and perfection and love. This time, say it again, “I am okay accepting and embracing all of myself unconditionally”.
Feel the impact in your body as this belief deepens inside you. Your body will remember.