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The Only Object of Life

Written by: Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D., CPCC

Article Overview: Margaret Fuller wrote: “Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow.” I love this quote and imagine this perspective had a profound impact on the quality of her life. If each of us shared Margaret’s outlook and truly lived from this perspective in all of its fullness, what would be different for us and those whom we touch? There are many possibilities.

The Only Object of Life

In any conflict with or disconnection from another person, we would look first and foremost at our own part in the dynamic: “What is it that I need to learn? How can I grow from this?” There would be no self-judgment; only excitement and gratitude for the possibility of being in our relationships with this new learning.

Judging others would lessen as we would understand that life for all of us is about growth. When someone behaves in a way that isn’t helpful, we’d realize they just don’t know how to act differently...yet. When we share the impact of their behaviour on us, we would come from a different place in terms of both what we say and the energy with which we say it. Instead of sounding blameful, we would show understanding. Our impact shifts when we express ourselves from the place of: “I know that what you did wasn’t intentional. You did your best. I can grow from this situation, too.”

Believing that our primary object is to grow would encourage us to live in a place of curiosity. Taking risks, meeting new people, exploring new places, attending new workshops or seminars – all would be done with an open, beginner’s mind. “What is new that I can learn from this opportunity?” Life would be exciting and fun.

When life may not be working in the way that speaks to our soul, we would stop and take stock: “What is the learning for me? Who might support me so that I truly get this learning?” We would take full responsibility for our growth and realize that sometimes we need a witness who is outside of our circle to offer new ways to see the world and ourselves in it. Our new thinking would impact our feelings which would impact our actions and physical body which would, in turn, create new life opportunities.

When someone has a different opinion than our own, we would contemplate: “What is it that I haven’t seen before that this person sees? How can I expand my point of view and grow from this dialogue? What can I learn to support me in life when my number one value is to grow rather than to be right?”

From the perspective that growth is the object of life, we would be alert about the areas where we could stretch ourselves – self-awareness, inner confidence, love, inner peace, contributing to others, relating to others, areas of interest, knowledge and all the skills that are required to live aptly in our world. There is a never-ending list of what only we can decide to focus on, depending on our own strengths and passions.

The key is that our growth is fuelled by a love of growing rather than a belief that says, “I’m not good enough just the way I am.” What I have seen is that true growth comes from the place of acceptance – growth is part of life.

If this isn’t already a place from which you live, experiment with one of the above action steps today. Notice for yourself what shifts in your world.

Celebrate your willingness and courage to grow. I believe that it makes a difference in not just your world. It ripples outward and encompasses all of us.

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Article Tags: conflict, curiosity, dialogue, excitement, feelings, gratitude, judging others, judgment, life opportunities, new thinking, new ways, point of view, relationships, seminars, stock, taking risks, witness



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