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The Power of YES!

Written by: Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D., CPCC

Article Overview: The choices we make about what we say to ourselves and others profoundly impact the quality of our lives. I notice in myself and my clients that saying the word, “YES,” increases our energy level. ‘Yes’ peels away resistance and helps us to move downstream. With yes in the forefront, we easily flow with the river of life instead of against it. The weight of struggling our way through whatever is happening lifts, and life becomes so much easier.

The Power of YES!

Just to clarify, this isn’t the yes we declare when we really want to say no. Saying yes to something out of integrity with the core of who we are and what we truly want for ourselves actually drains our life energy. Rather than feeling connected to ourselves, saying yes when we really want to say no removes us from our center.

This is about saying yes to what is happening in this moment as well as to what’s really going on inside of us right now. When we say yes to what we are noticing, we are in this open, expanded heart place. We feel whatever is there for us to feel: “Yes, I’m disappointed,” “Yes, I’m feeling sad,” “Yes, I can feel the tension in my body” or “Yes, I’m feeling joy.” In allowing what is true within us, we are present to ourselves and others and, thereby, fully alive.

Saying yes to this state of nonjudgmental curiosity helps us take life lightly. When we are feeling upset, we can get curious about what we feel in our bodies. We can witness when we are focusing on the facts or when our minds are making up stories to embellish those facts and create drama. We can simply notice when we want to blame or judge or defend or be right. Instead of fighting with our minds by trying to convince ourselves or someone else to think or act in a different way, we notice our thoughts from a place of being curious. We can then make a different choice.

I notice that making a practice of saying yes to what is present in my own life has made me accept myself and my life at deeper and deeper levels. For instance, I have become aware of an old habit of impulsively jumping in with what’s on my mind in a social situation. At times, it can be funny and add to the conversation. At other times, the impulse can interrupt someone else’s train of thought. I’ve decided I want to break this pattern and realize that I first need to accept it – an old habit learned as the youngest kid in an Italian family who made the decision to jump in to get heard. In other words, by my saying yes to what is, I notice the behaviour from a compassionate place without making myself wrong. I then set a new intention for how I want to be in the next moment. There’s no defensiveness in this way of being in the world, nor is there a lack of responsibility for my own behaviour.

With yes, we are able to remove ourselves more readily from any issues or triggers as we embrace everything. We welcome our fears and our hopes, our happiness and our sorrows. We know all of our feelings are part of life. We know our love and compassion at our very core is so much deeper than whatever feelings or thoughts are moving through us in one moment.

What’s happening for you right now that would be different if you said “yes”? What would you stop resisting? It might be someone’s help…a new idea…the pain of an old memory…the gift of someone who loves you in the best way that they know how.

Through your breath, go to a quiet place inside of you. Take a moment to think of something that you don’t like that’s happening in your life right now – it may be a health issue, a conflict with someone close to you, a financial problem, a feeling of being less than or ungrounded, some part of yourself that you try to hide from others. Notice your first reaction to your awareness in this moment. Place your focus on your body and notice where you feel this inside of you. Notice the feeling that arises to the surface. Allow yourself to say yes to what is happening inside of you. Be aware of your breath. Let the word yes be part of each inhale and exhale like a mantra. Notice what happens. Allow yourself to hold whatever is happening with love and compassion like a parent would hold a small child. Feel it in your belly. Breathe…whisper yes….without judgment….being with what is true in this moment.

We are aligned with the Divine within us when we are not wishing that this moment is different than what it actually is. In saying yes, we are loving life.

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Article Tags: curiosity, habit, heart place, impulse, integrity, italian family, life energy, social situation, tension, train



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