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Entering 2008 Thriving not Just Enduring

Entering 2008 Thriving not Just Enduring

Dear Jane,
What do you mean by “endurance” and what’s wrong with it? I always thought enduring was a good thing.
As we approach a new year, determined to make and keep our New Year’s resolutions (this time), I want to encourage you to resolve to thrive, not just endure. When I’m interviewed on radio or TV, I am always asked what the distinction is. I use an analogy taught to me by one of my mentors, Brandon St. John, some 25 years ago. When I saw it used in Al Gore’s, “An Inconvenient Truth,” I was both surprised and pleased.
The analogy goes like this: When frogs are placed in water that is too hot, they will hop out immediately. However, when frogs are placed in water that is just right and then the water is heated slowly, they will ENDURE and never jump out, no matter how hot the water gets. The point is that when we put up with anything that is unhealthy for our spirit or our environment for too long, like the frog, we may not notice until it is too late. In Al Gore’s cartoon with the frog, the frog is rescued by awareness and action. In my book, Enough Is Enough!, I offer many ways to become aware of how you are enduring so that you don’t accumulate more regrets or poison your system with more resentment.
If you pay attention to your spirit today, if you “take your leap,” you will help not only yourself, but others. Here are some immediate ways to start thriving. Perhaps you’d like to incorporate these into your New Year’s resolutions:
1. Stop one self-defeating behavior and replace it with a healthy, affirming one. Change your behavior and your mind will catch up.

2. Tell someone about a goal you wish to accomplish. Committing out loud to others will help you keep your word to yourself and not let you off the hook. Keeping your agreements will help you build self-esteem.

3. Ask yourself where you have not been in integrity. Then make amends. When you right your wrongs, you will give yourself more permission to thrive.
As 2008 approaches, promise yourself you will make thriving your new habit. After all, we’re not frogs, are we?





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Jane Straus
(Visit Jane's Website) Relationship expert, author, radio host, and media guest, Jane Straus gives individuals, couples, and organizations the tools to thrive and experience the extraordinary in life. Visit her media page to view her clips from shows on ABC, CBS, and NBC; peruse her articles in USA Today, CNN.com, Woman's World Magazine, and other print publications; and read her newsletters and excerpts from her popular self-help book, Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. She is also the author of a bestseller, The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation and founder of www.grammarbook.com, one of the most popular online resources for English usage rules, examples, and quizzes--all FREE. Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

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