Tweet

The Attitude of Gratitude

Written by: Jane Straus

Article Overview: The other day a client sat nervously in my office, dismissing her "silly" feelings preemptively with a wave of her hand. “Please explain,” I encouraged. She pulled a tissue out of the box and dabbed her eyes, looking at the carpet as she spoke. “I’ve had a lot of health problems recently. I don’t want to be a complainer but it’s been a push just to get up in the morning and go to work. Yesterday, my boss just left a stack of work on my desk and walked away without a word.” With that, her voice broke.

The Attitude of Gratitude

The other day a client sat nervously in my office, dismissing her "silly" feelings preemptively with a wave of her hand. “Please explain,” I encouraged.

She pulled a tissue out of the box and dabbed her eyes, looking at the carpet as she spoke. “I’ve had a lot of health problems recently. I don’t want to be a complainer but it’s been a push just to get up in the morning and go to work. Yesterday, my boss just left a stack of work on my desk and walked away without a word.” With that, her voice broke.

“What does that mean to you?” I asked.

“I'm not important to him except for what I can do to make his life easier. He doesn't even see me as a person. The part that really hurts is that he didn't even ask me how I was feeling."

My heart ached. I thought of so many times where I’ve felt that what I did for someone mattered more than who I am, that without having something to offer, I wasn’t worthy. For most of us, the need to heal that one often presents itself at inopportune times and in painful ways. I took her hand. “You can use this as evidence that your boss doesn’t value you or you can tell him how you felt.”

“I’m afraid he’ll just get defensive or think I'm stupid.”

“But it's already what you think he thinks. So what do you have to lose?” As I write about in my book, Enough Is Enough, I believe that what we fear, we project and get mirrored back to us. But we often need a reminder of this so that we can consciously choose to move through our fear and take a stand on our own behalf.

She looked me in the eye as she said, "What I'm really afraid of is that I'm expendable in his eyes. But you're right. If I already feel expendable, what else is there to fear by telling him?"

She could no longer hide behind hurt or confusion anymore; the decision to stay or to leave a working environment that didn’t uphold her worthiness was her responsibility to make. Perhaps the hardest decision she would have to face was how much she was willing to risk in order to value herself.

The woman who walked into my office the next week looked very different. Her shoulders were straighter and she had the confidence that comes with having just met fear with courage. I wondered what I would hear. Had she been fired? Quit?

“He admitted that he’d been a jerk. He said that I was right to be upset. Then he said that he respected me for speaking up. I must have looked pretty skeptical,” she said, “because then he asked how he could prove it to me.”

“What did you say?”

She smiled slowly, “I said, ‘I will just know.'"

“And?”

“The next day he dropped another stack of papers on my desk. But this time he stopped to say good morning and he asked how I felt. I told him fine and, for once, I really meant it. Regardless of the ups and downs of my physical health, my well being is intact."

Related Articles
  When gratitude precedes gratification
  The Attitude of Gratitude
  Jump start your Day, the Attitude of Discipline Way!
  Gratitude is Attitude
  Enjoy Seven (7) Health Benefits of Expressing Gratitude and Lead a More Productive and Less Stressful Life

Article Tags: boss, carpet, complainer, confusion, desk, feelings, health problems, heart, inopportune times, reminder, stack, working environment, worthiness



Related Forum Posts
Re: THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD...RIGHT NOW!!! - Yes, you are right Mal. Attitude plays a big role in it. Robert
Re: what brings tears to Your eyes ???? - Hi Barry Being able to make a difference in a life, whether it is a human life or an animals life I think gives one a wonderful feeling of gratitude. Gratitude of being in a position to help and that what you do is actually going to make a difference is definitely enough to bring tears to your eyes. MichelleJ
Re: What to do at the first roadblock? - Upon first discouragement, dig in and see if things are as they seem. Sometimes, even though there are several products out there that appear comparable, they are no match. Maybe they do don't a good job of what they are intended for, or maybe there are several glitches in their system, or perhaps their customer service just plain stinks. Decide how you can "one up" all of these things and decide that you are going to create a better product that more people would want. Attitude is 95% of the battle. If you feel defeated before you've done any research on any of the other products, you're doing yourself a huge disservice. Give yourself a chance and see if you can be the BEST in every way. This will get you far no matter what the venture.
Re: Who hates cold calling? - About 15 years ago I worked for this sales company that used to sell anything from Kitchen Knives to Dry Cell Torches. The owner was a very motivating guy and he would ask us to get to the office by 7.00AM and we could sing and dance for an hour before we went to sell the products in the streets, stopping anyone and telling them our products were on discount. We used to sell snow to Eskimos, why were we able to do that? because of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). The key to cold calling is like beauty, in eyes of the beholder. If you have no PMA, you cannot sell. Remember the law of average that states that if you went to a dance and every girl or guy you approached for a dance decline your proposal. What do you do? Do you stop? If you have a PMA, you continue until you get one person who agree to dance with you despite how ugly you look, that is is PMA and that is the power of cold calling.
My reading log - Hi OmnivoreInk, Before starting my business, I read the following books as research: -"The Art of the Start" by Guy Kawasaki -"The AdSense Code" by Joel Comm -"Don't Think Pink" and "Mind Your X's and Y's" by Lisa Johnson And since then I've continued my "research" by reading (in this order): -"Technical Tennis" by Rod Cross -"For One More Day" by Mitch Albom -"The Twits" by Roald Dahl -"Little Black Book of Connections" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne -"The Profitable Retailer" by Doug Fleener -"Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell -"Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" by C.S. Lewis -"Little Green Book of Getting Your Way" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" by J.K. Rowling And I'm currently reading and am in the process of finishing the following: -"There's No Such Thing as Public Speaking" by Jeanette and Roy Henderson -"The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell -"The Book of Tells" by Peter Collett -"Little Red Book of Sales Answers" by Jeffrey Gitomer -"Chocolates on the Pillow Aren't Enough: Reinventing The Customer Experience" by Jonathan M. Tisch -"The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity" by Julia Cameron -"The Inner Game of Tennis" by Timothy Gallwey


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Creating a Better Place to Work

Soda Vending Machine = Energy Hog

Selling with Humor (and a Sorry Butt)

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.