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The Law of Attraction vs. Nonattachment

Written by: Jane Straus

Article Overview: Dear Jane, I’m excited about a potential new job but I’m holding myself in check, trying to practice the Buddhist concept of nonattachment. But The Secret teaches that if I don’t let myself get excited about the job, I won’t attract it to me. These philosophies are confusing to me. Which one should I pick?

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The Law of Attraction vs. Nonattachment

Dear Jane,
I’m excited about a potential new job but I’m holding myself in check, trying to practice the Buddhist concept of nonattachment. But The Secret teaches that if I don’t let myself get excited about the job, I won’t attract it to me. These philosophies are confusing to me. Which one should I pick?

The mental games we play with ourselves can be maddening. The reason we invoke nonattachment may have less to do with a desire to be enlightened than an underlying superstition that it is bad luck to want something too much. But then The Secret tells us to do everything in our power to manifest that which we desire. Inevitably, we are faced with questioning if this “law of attraction” is immutable. Are there exceptions? If we want something too much, is there a “law of repulsion”? Should we try to find some middle ground with our emotions, wanting just enough, whatever “just enough” means?

If you are simply afraid of disappointment and are trying to minimize the letdown if something doesn’t go as planned, then you’re already suffering disappointment, aren’t you? And by consciously curbing your enthusiasm, aren’t you actually attaching to disappointment? Why do this to yourself?

It is possible to revel in anticipatory excitement and hopefulness while practicing nonattachment. Nonattachment to outcome means that you are not attaching to feeling any feeling forever. This means not being attached to always feeling excited or hopeful or successful; it doesn’t mean not ever feeling really excited. Practicing nonattachment allows for you to be alternately excited and disappointed, giving these transitory emotions their time while practicing not clinging to the former or avoiding the latter. While “not clinging” requires plenty of practice, it is very different from “not feeling.”

Enlightenment is not the same as hedging our emotional bets. The Dalai Lama tells us that the purpose of enlightenment is to experience happiness. So maybe it’s as simple as “be happy” when you’re happy and “be disappointed” when things don’t turn out well. You aren’t required to squash your joy or mask your sorrows for the sake of practicing enlightenment. Maybe you can practice taking all your feelings, which are fleeting anyway, a little more lightly. This may not be The Secret, but it is A Secret.

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Home > Work-Life > Jane Straus > The Law of Attraction vs Nonattachment
Article Tags: bad luck, bets, buddhist, dalai lama, desire, disappointment, emotions, enlightenment, exceptions, excitement, happiness, law of attraction, law of repulsion, letdown, mental games, new job, philosophies, superstition

About the Author: Jane Straus
RSS for Jane's articles - Visit Jane's website

Relationship expert, author, radio host, and media guest, Jane Straus gives individuals, couples, and organizations the tools to thrive and experience the extraordinary in life. Visit her media page to view her clips from shows on ABC, CBS, and NBC; peruse her articles in USA Today, CNN.com, Woman's World Magazine, and other print publications; and read her newsletters and excerpts from her popular self-help book, Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. She is also the author of a bestseller, The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation and founder of www.grammarbook.com, one of the most popular online resources for English usage rules, examples, and quizzes--all FREE. Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

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Re: Learn How to Improve Your Business and Personal Life Re: Learn How to Improve Your Business and Personal Life - She is offering to talk about an interesting and diverse list of topics. Everyone seems to be talking about the Law of Attraction, but I took a look at her site and its interesting that her stand is that the Law of Attraction isn't enough to really succeed. Chris
Re: An Assessment Tool for Making Dreams Come True Re: An Assessment Tool for Making Dreams Come True - Sounds a bit like getting what you want through the Laws of Attraction aka LOA. I've seen people use mind visuals to expedite goals such as: (Affiliate links removed by forum administrator) You can also cut and paste magazine pics. When I remember to use them, they are VERY effective. It may take a few weeks, monhts or even years but it comes together beautifully and perfectly. The more often you do it, the faster it happens. Be sure you know what you want! A study with measurable results would be nice. I just don't have the schedule for it though. Good Luck!
Law of Attraction and I Law of Attraction and I - I too don't dispute the Law of Attraction (LoA) but in addition to thinking positive to attract things into my life I also believe you need to take positive "action" towards those things you want to attract. The LoA is too fluff to stand on it's own. When you are working towards a goal in your life you automatically become aware of things (hence you may think you are attracting things) that will help you accomplish this goal. The key thing here is you are actively taking action. I forget the name of this study but if you are in a room you may not notice the things around you but if I say "do you notice all the red items in the room" all of a sudden you will "noticing" Red. Same with the car you buy - you probably pass hundreds of 1998 Mazda 626's on the road but you really notice them when you own the same model. When I have attracted something into my life I congratulate myself in practicing the LoA but when that something doesn't come I analyze how I could have done things differently so that when the opportunity arises again i'll try something different.


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