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The Law of Attraction vs. Nonattachment
Written by: Jane StrausArticle Overview: Dear Jane, I’m excited about a potential new job but I’m holding myself in check, trying to practice the Buddhist concept of nonattachment. But The Secret teaches that if I don’t let myself get excited about the job, I won’t attract it to me. These philosophies are confusing to me. Which one should I pick?
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The Law of Attraction vs. Nonattachment
Dear Jane,
I’m excited about a potential new job but I’m holding myself in check, trying to practice the Buddhist concept of nonattachment. But The Secret teaches that if I don’t let myself get excited about the job, I won’t attract it to me. These philosophies are confusing to me. Which one should I pick?
The mental games we play with ourselves can be maddening. The reason we invoke nonattachment may have less to do with a desire to be enlightened than an underlying superstition that it is bad luck to want something too much. But then The Secret tells us to do everything in our power to manifest that which we desire. Inevitably, we are faced with questioning if this “law of attraction” is immutable. Are there exceptions? If we want something too much, is there a “law of repulsion”? Should we try to find some middle ground with our emotions, wanting just enough, whatever “just enough” means?
If you are simply afraid of disappointment and are trying to minimize the letdown if something doesn’t go as planned, then you’re already suffering disappointment, aren’t you? And by consciously curbing your enthusiasm, aren’t you actually attaching to disappointment? Why do this to yourself?
It is possible to revel in anticipatory excitement and hopefulness while practicing nonattachment. Nonattachment to outcome means that you are not attaching to feeling any feeling forever. This means not being attached to always feeling excited or hopeful or successful; it doesn’t mean not ever feeling really excited. Practicing nonattachment allows for you to be alternately excited and disappointed, giving these transitory emotions their time while practicing not clinging to the former or avoiding the latter. While “not clinging” requires plenty of practice, it is very different from “not feeling.”
Enlightenment is not the same as hedging our emotional bets. The Dalai Lama tells us that the purpose of enlightenment is to experience happiness. So maybe it’s as simple as “be happy” when you’re happy and “be disappointed” when things don’t turn out well. You aren’t required to squash your joy or mask your sorrows for the sake of practicing enlightenment. Maybe you can practice taking all your feelings, which are fleeting anyway, a little more lightly. This may not be The Secret, but it is A Secret.
Article Tags: bad luck, bets, buddhist, dalai lama, desire, disappointment, emotions, enlightenment, exceptions, excitement, happiness, law of attraction, law of repulsion, letdown, mental games, new job, philosophies, superstition
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About the Author: Jane Straus RSS for Jane's articles - Visit Jane's website Relationship expert, author, radio host, and media guest, Jane Straus gives individuals, couples, and organizations the tools to thrive and experience the extraordinary in life. Visit her media page to view her clips from shows on ABC, CBS, and NBC; peruse her articles in USA Today, CNN.com, Woman's World Magazine, and other print publications; and read her newsletters and excerpts from her popular self-help book, Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. She is also the author of a bestseller, The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation and founder of www.grammarbook.com, one of the most popular online resources for English usage rules, examples, and quizzes--all FREE. Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com. Click here to visit Jane's website Struggling to Be Here Now Lessons from The Breakfast Club A FiveStep Plan to Overcome Procrastination The True Measure of Abundance An Extraordinary Life What Resentment Teaches You |
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