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Dear Jane,
I’m excited about a potential new job but I’m holding myself in check, trying to practice the Buddhist concept of nonattachment. But The Secret teaches that if I don’t let myself get excited about the job, I won’t attract it to me. These philosophies are confusing to me. Which one should I pick?
The mental games we play with ourselves can be maddening. The reason we invoke nonattachment may have less to do with a desire to be enlightened than an underlying superstition that it is bad luck to want something too much. But then The Secret tells us to do everything in our power to manifest that which we desire. Inevitably, we are faced with questioning if this “law of attraction” is immutable. Are there exceptions? If we want something too much, is there a “law of repulsion”? Should we try to find some middle ground with our emotions, wanting just enough, whatever “just enough” means?
If you are simply afraid of disappointment and are trying to minimize the letdown if something doesn’t go as planned, then you’re already suffering disappointment, aren’t you? And by consciously curbing your enthusiasm, aren’t you actually attaching to disappointment? Why do this to yourself?
It is possible to revel in anticipatory excitement and hopefulness while practicing nonattachment. Nonattachment to outcome means that you are not attaching to feeling any feeling forever. This means not being attached to always feeling excited or hopeful or successful; it doesn’t mean not ever feeling really excited. Practicing nonattachment allows for you to be alternately excited and disappointed, giving these transitory emotions their time while practicing not clinging to the former or avoiding the latter. While “not clinging” requires plenty of practice, it is very different from “not feeling.”
Enlightenment is not the same as hedging our emotional bets. The Dalai Lama tells us that the purpose of enlightenment is to experience happiness. So maybe it’s as simple as “be happy” when you’re happy and “be disappointed” when things don’t turn out well. You aren’t required to squash your joy or mask your sorrows for the sake of practicing enlightenment. Maybe you can practice taking all your feelings, which are fleeting anyway, a little more lightly. This may not be The Secret, but it is A Secret.
Dear Jane,
I’m excited about a potential new job but I’m holding myself in check, trying to practice the Buddhist concept of nonattachment. But The Secret teaches that if I don’t let myself get excited about the jo...
Have you ever considered the awesome power of the Law of Attraction? It can manifest so many great things in your life. Have you ever considered using it to help others? Does it work that way? Can it work that way?
You do not have to be religious to believe in other Laws of the Universe do you? You can choose to ponder who set up these Laws of the Universe, but this is not necessary.
You too can learn how to use the Law of Attraction to create whatever you want in life - be it money, love or happiness - and generate abundance. It does not matter how young or old you are. This law works for those...
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Jane Straus
(Visit Jane's Website)
Jane Straus is a trusted life coach,
dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of
Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start
Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor
and grace, Jane offers her clients and
seminar participants insights and
exercises to ensure that the next chapter
of their lives is about thriving as the
unique individuals they have always been
and the extraordinary ones they are still
becoming. She serves clients worldwide and
invites you to visit her site, www.stopendu
ring.com. Here you will find excerpts
from her book, more articles, TV and radio
interviews, and clips from her
presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of
Grammar and Punctuation, www.grammarbo
ok.com, an award-winning online
resource and workbook with
easy-to-understand rules, real-world
examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@Jan
eStraus.com.
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